This is sooooo hard. Excuse the bad words and simply for the mehh of this chapter, hahaha, enjoy!

To say it was awkward would be an understatement, she couldn't look into Sooyoung's eyes at all and added the fact that whole cafe had witnessed such bold action from her make it even more awkward. But one thing she was thankful for, all of them didn't tease but treat her the same, especially Sooyoung. 

She didn't know if the younger one purposely act like nothing had happened just to spare her from embarrassment or something but she didn't know if she should be glad or offend by the silent rejection. 

She wasn't ready, that's all she knew. But judging by Sooyoung's behaviour, she had gone more affectionate than usual and she was happy. She would caught Sooyoung smiled at her but soon it would replace by dimness in her eyes whereas she wasn't sure because of what. 

Yes, she liked Sooyoung very much. She realized Sooyoung had given many indescribable feelings that she never have experience it before and that's when she stopped denying everything and came to the conclusion that she is indeed have a feeling towards the younger one. 

Nothing ever felt this wonderful, not even when she was with her former boyfriends. The sparks were never there, it was just to filled her loneliness thus her stupid reputation of being a spoiled rich kid - that explained the party, the boyfriends and the stupid things she had ever done before. 

Well, Sooyoung gave her the most indescribable feelings she had ever feel in her entire life. 

Whilst for Sooyoung, it was a mess in her head. Jessica shared the same feelings but the main problem is herself. The happiness clouded by the frustration of the messy situation. Everything overtaking the happiness she felt when she knew Jessica shared the same feelings. 

She still could remember the tingling on her lips whereas Jessica had plant hers on her own. The fluttery feelings burst into sort of emotion she didn't knew exist. Instead of throwing an air punch, she is literally punching the wall because of the complications.

She would love to protect Jessica officially, but where would she stand? The truth hasn't been reveal and she was more than terrified to lose Jessica should the latter knew about her real identity. 

She screwed up greatly, didn't she? 

The fear, oh how she wish she could explain it with words, but the feelings... it was suffocating; the thoughts of losing Jessica clouded her mind and causing some uneasiness in her heart. But there's this another fear that took some space in her clouded mind, the uneasiness in her heart; a fear of keeping her real identity as a secret still. 

But her heart screamed loudly of Jessica's name, to make her become hers yet her mind screamed even louder, filled with thoughts and fear.

"Hey, you okay?" The sweet voice she recognized well entered her eardrum and she silently exhaled when a hand enveloped her own. She could feel her heart melted when she saw the smile on the older girl's face. 

"Yeah, I'm okay." Sooyoung nodded and slowly pull her hand away, watching with a heavy heart how the smile on Jessica's face flattered a little at her gesture. "I'm bored though, I want to be outside instead of doing works here." she pouted, trying to distract Jessica.

Jessica's lips tugged into a small smile, "It's your fault. Your face is an asset to this cafe. With that bruise on your face, you would chase the chicks away. Such a turn off." she cackled, teasing the younger one.

"I hope you're not chased away." It was an innocent statement, that's just randomly blurted out of , without her realized. It was part of her habit, blurting out her feelings like that. 

But now she cursed herself for saying that, she didn't mean to sound like she was trying to lead her on any more than she already did or trying to be flirty, but the statement was sincere and she knew Jessica has realized it too by the way her smile widened.

"No. I'm not." Jessica answered the question quietly, her eyes twinkled and brightened at the honest yet sincere statement from the younger one. "I brought you some food. Eat." she pushed the plate gently before standing up, "Don't be upset. It will be alright soon enough and you'll be out there, flirting with girls in no time." she winked and patted Sooyoung's cheek softly before making her way to leave the pantry.

Sooyoung's eyes followed her until she disappeared behind the door and take a look at the plate on the table, shaking her head fondly at the cute smiley face on the pancake and some cute art of pikachu in her mug of coffee.

Her heart leaped in giddiness at the simple yet cute gesture, added to the honest answer from Jessica. 

Ah, love. This is how love feels like, huh? The flutters made her forget the situation she was in, the thoughts, the uneasiness, as the butterflies spread wildly in her stomach. 

She took a deep breath and let a full smile appeared on her face before reaching out for her food, "Now, how am I supposed to eat this? It's too beautiful to be eaten!" she exclaimed as she flailed her arms around. "Oh my god, it's so cute, made by her." she cried.

"Don't be silly and eat now, weirdo." Jessica casually walked into the pantry and overheard her, rolling her eyes at her weirdness and and grabbed something before leaving her yet again, shaking her head in fondness.

Sooyoung grinned bashfully and started eating, feeling her heart ease much more at the comfort of the food made by Jessica. She didn't realized how her smile turned into a genuine one at the care, temporarily forgetting all the mess in her head. 

By the time she had finished the food, entered the girl who is very obvious at the glances she threw at her and how the smile immediately curved on her lips at the finished food on the table as she pretended to make her busy on the pantry. 

Sooyoung watched with an amused smile on her face, "I finished it all. It was cute and delicious. Thank you." she said gently and grinned when Jessica obviously tried to cover herself at the quick change of expression.

The older girl then finished whatever she was doing and shrugged her shoulder, acting nonchalant. "Hurry and get to work then." she avoided her eyes and walked a bit fast on her way out.

Sooyoung chuckled, "You're cute, Jessica." she smiled softly. "Give me time. I will tell you everything and I hope you will accept this absurd reason of mine. Until then, I will not stop protecting you." she promised.

~~~

It was a peaceful yet very boring day for her, working behind that kitchen door, helping and loading stuffs, not being able to greet the customers. She hadn't show her face nor being able to smell the scent of the coffee, the soft music and feel the coziness of the cafe all day, much to the boys' delight. 

The boys were being such a bunch of , teasing and giving her looks of triumph - for being able to flirt and stuff with the customers. Although some did search for her, asking where she was.

As usual, the cafe became a spot for Taeyeon and Tiffany to hangout. They were just chatting, having a break from work for a date after a long day, until the older girl noticed a guy outside of the cafe, behind that large window.

The man grinned sickly at the sight of the couple, watching him. He was happy that his presence caught the couple's attention. He waved at them, like a lunatic he was.

"This ." Taeyeon was about to stand up but was held back when Tiffany placed a hand on hers - trying to calm her down, shaking her head as they watched how Minho insisted the man not to make a scene by preventing him entering the cafe. She sighed in relief when the man finally relented but raised an eyebrow when Minho approached them, giving them an envelope before searching for Jessica. 

Tiffany noticed her name on the envelope, instantly had a bad feeling as she reached out for it. She could feel her own hands shook as she pulled out a few photograph of her and Jessica, from years ago, when they were wild and young in some club, dancing and drinking. There were a note along, saying a few inappropriate remarks about how good it would be to enjoying themselves like they used to.

That ticked Taeyeon off, for real. The disrespectfulness, for one. What games is he trying to play, right now? Wasn't it enough, though? What does he want? 

Tiffany pulled her into a soft kiss. "Hey, it's fine. I won't cower like I used to, like how he wanted me to. Not anymore." she told her girlfriend gently, trying to calm her down. "I have you, my adorable little girlfriend." she smiled.

"This clearly affects you, Hwang Miyoung." Taeyeon frowned. 

Tiffany exhaled. "It was an unpleasant memory, baby. I admitted, I couldn't forget it even if I wanted to. But that made me who I am today. I've become stronger. And it's also because of you." she patted Taeyeon's cheeks. 

Taeyeon sighed heavily. "I have no idea what's he playing at, Fany. But I won't let him hurt you and Jessica." she promised as she leaned and left a kiss on Tiffany's forehead. "I swear."

On the other hand, the moment Minho told her, albeit apologetically, it was from the guy that had been messing around with them recently, Jessica went blank and being the no longer composed girl she had always been, she immediately went searching for the certain someone whose the one that responsible for breaking down the wall she had been built all these years.

Sooyoung, who was in the middle of wiping the mugs clean, was startled when a trembling girl latched on her back. She grew worried when the girl couldn't stop shaking in her arms even when she had brought her to sit.

Jessica shakily pulled away and handed her to envelope. Her hands balled into fists, she didn't what's in the envelope but one thing she knew for sure that it must be bad and she isn't sure whether she was ready to accept another obstacle added into her life. 

This fear, causing her to feel sick in the stomach. It was suffocating.

"Minho s-said it's from h-him." 

Sooyoung mumbled a curse and tried to calm the girl down. "Did he hurt you?" she asked and sighed in relief when Jessica shook her head lightly. She could feel her heart break at the sight of the tears on Jessica's face. "Shh, it's okay. He's not gonna hurt you. I promised you, didn't I?" she pulled the girl into her embrace and her hair.

Jessica nodded as she slowly pulled away but not completely, resting her forehead on Sooyoung's shoulder as she exhaled - finally feeling her heart at ease in Sooyoung's embrace.

The room was filled with comfortable silent and Jessica never thought she could be feeling this way. Her thoughts went blank and she felt calm as she breathed softly, hands loosening the tight grip around Sooyoung's waist.

She inhaled and let out a huge breath slowly, her whole body relaxing.

"You know," she started, softly. "I thought I was fine, that I was alright." she whispered. "I thought it won't matter anymore but I guess I never heal. That's why this fear never went away, am I right?" she pulled back and stared right into Sooyoung's eyes. "Teach me how to heal, Sooyoung-ah?" 

Sooyoung was stunned. 

Jessica smiled