"Wah!!! You scared me!" Baekhyun shouted at him because of the person in front of him.

"S-Sorry, it's just that I was looking for someone and I thought it was you. I'm not sure if he was you so I tried to hide and watch you from behind. Sorry, I thought he was you." he explained to the startled one. He bowed his head to apologize.

"W-well, he's not me. And why are you looking for him this midnight! Aren't you scared?" Baekhyun asked him, huffing and calming his heart beating frantically.

"That's why I followed you, I'm scared. But you were not, so I just hid behind. You were not scared even if you're alone. You're brave." He told Baekhyun.

"No. I'm a coward. I am not facing my problem. And that's my problem, so I don't want to face it." Baekhyun said.

He tilted his head to ask Baekhyun to clarify what he just said but Baekhyun just shook his head to tell the guy not to mind it. "Ah, I'm Lay." He introduced himself.

"Baekhyun." Baekhyun looked at him looking at the sky, Lay was smiling but Baekhyun could see the sadness the other one was feeling inside. "Do you have somewhere to go? Just for the night? Let's go to my apartment?" Baekhyun invited him because he didn't want to be alone either.

He accepted and nodded his head. They went in the apartment house and there they found Chanyeol. Baekhyun found Chanyeol looking at him. He found Chanyeol.... hugging him.

"What the Baek! What took you so long?! Why didn't you come here earlier than me?! Why did you go alone? I'm so worried you know!" he squeezed the smaller one in his arms that the latter one could barely breathe plus, his heart was really beating loudly.

"Ugh,, wait. I have a visitor." Baekhyun managed to say and he straightened and wiped his tears. He bowed and greeted Lay. "I saw him following me in the middle of the night. He was looking for someone and he thought it was me." Baekhyun explained to Chanyeol.

"I can explain that too." Lay told them. "I'm YiXing by the way." He stretched his hand to Chanyeol.

And Baekhyun was shocked, "Huh!? I thought you were Lay! Then now, you're YiXing. Tell me the truth." he warned Lay.

Lay laughed and explained to the two, "My full name is Zhang YiXing. Lay is my nickname."

Chanyeol and Baekhyun both exhaled comfortably. Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol looking at him and he remembered what happened earlier, "Sorry." They both mumbled at the same time. And they both laughed together. As long as you're here by my side, I will forgive you. Don't leave me all alone. please.

They discovered that Lay was also an orphan too. And he said that the guy he was talking about was also an orphan there. They were best friends before and they promised each other under a starry night that they would be happy for each other no matter what happens. It's so sweet. But after the night they made their promise, the guy was taken by another family and he was left.

"He left you." Baekhyun coldly said, feeling the way Lay was feeling.

Lay smiled and shook his head, "Ahh no. Because he didn't want to leave me. He have to leave me for his good. And I let him go for his good."

"But isn't it unfair?" Baekhyun questioned him, wanting Lay to see his point.

Lay shook his head, totally saying no to whatever Baekhyun's negative conclusions were. "No, because he's happy." He simply said.

"Yeah, you're happy for him, but are you happy for yourself?!" Baekhyun asked Lay and Chanyeol knew that it really had to do with Baekhyun, he was affected too because of what he experienced.

"I'm happy for myself too because he's happy. I would do anything to make him happy. You would do anything for your loved one to make them happy." he told them.

"And the same goes for you." Chanyeol went in the conversation. Baekhyun eyed him but Chanyeol just continued. "Because you told me before that you left them because you thought they want you to leave. And you thought that would make them happy. So you left them thinking that you made them happy. You love them so you want them to be happy." he explained very well. But Baekhyun didn't want to understand him. He just couldn't. He didn't think that it was the right time.

They slept on the floor in Baekhyun's room because his bed wasn't enough for them three to fit in.

"Baekhyun..." Chanyeol mumbled before going to sleep. "Sorry for telling you that."

Baekhyun's heart beat faster, and his cheeks began to flush redder. "It's okay. I'm sorry, too."

"But I won't take the words back, because those were the words I really wanted to tell you when I hear your story." He told Baekhyun calmly.

Baekhyun nodded. "I understand." Even if he didn't.

"Mmm. Goodnight." And Chanyeol squeezed his hand. And Baekhyun felt secured and full.

~ ~ ~

The next morning, Baekhyun cooked for their breakfast and asked Lay about the boy he was looking for in the middle of the night.

"Just like what I said, I was looking for someone and I thought he was you.." he answered when Baekhyun asked why was he outside in the middle of the night.

"In the middle of the night?" Baekhyun thought that Lay was so brave enough to look for the guy in the middle of the night where danger was more possible.

"Because we used to go out in the middle of the night. And we used to stargaze."

"Oh? Stargaze?" Chanyeol's eyes sparkled.

Lay nodded and continued, "I somewhat thought that if I look for him in the middle of the night or late in the evening, I'll be able to find him."

"Why do you like to stargaze?" Chanyeol asked. Maybe, he was amused because of Lay falling in love with the stars.

"Because he wants to be a star. And I want to see his sparkling eyes even just by looking at the stars." He explained like he was really in love with the guy. But he really was. Red, red, red violet.

~ ~ ~

"Ahh, that's what happened." Baekhyun nodded when Chanyeol told him why Lay left the house, of course, to look for the guy who loved to stargaze with him.

"Why? What happened?" and suddenly, Luhan came into the conversation.

"Well, there was an acquaintance, to I could say, friend, who was so in love with the stars." Baekhyun told Luhan.

"In love with the stars?" he looked at Baekhyun and Chanyeol, his eyes asking them if they were messing with him.

"Yeah! That's what he said. He fell in love with stars because he's in love with the eyes of his lover which shines like a star." Chanyeol hopefully said as he thought that Lay would be able to find his star sooner.

Luhan's eyes got a little bigger, amazed at the sweet guy who was doing everything for his loved one, just like what he did to his ex-lover, "R-r-really?"

The two nodded, "And in fact, he was looking for him in the middle of the night!"

"Midnight? All alone?" he asked.

"Yes. Because he's hoping that he would see that guy stargazing." Chanyeol answered and smiled.

When Baekhyun and Chaneyol were about to end our shift in the work, Baekhyun saw his Luhan hyung looking out the window. He walked closer and saw tears sliding down his Luhan hyung's cheeks.

"Luhan? Why're you crying?" Baekhyun asked him, hugging him from behind, wanting to comfort his brother who had always been good to him.

He chuckled and answered, "Haha, this is nothing. Nothing to worry about. I'm okay."

Red, red, red violet. "What are you looking for?" Baekhyun asked him, knowing that it was red orange before.

Luhan tried to hide his feelings but hell, Baekhyun just knew it. "Huh? Nothing, I'm looking at the stars."

"No. That's not what I meant. What are you looking FOR? Not AT..." Baekhyun clarified himself.

Luhan then wiped his tears away and faced Baekhyun. "For him. I thought I was happy that he left. Well, yes, I am happy for him because he is happy. I know that he'll be happy if I let him go. But, I am not happy for myself, because I never wanted to let him go. But I want him to be happy. I'll do anything to make him happy because I love him." he explained.

Baekhyun smiled and held his hands, "And I'll do anything to make you happy." He swung the other one's hands which made Luhan smile more.

"I want you to be happy too." Luhan pinched Baekhyun's nose as he thought that Chanyeol and Baekhyun would soon be dating.

"I am happy because you're here. This café is here. JongDae and MinSeok are here. My friends are here. I'm happy. Chanyeol's here." Baekhyun told him sincerely.

"I am happy that my friends are here. That this café is here. That you are here. And I know you'll always be." Luhan squeezed the shorter one's hand.

"But are you happy that he's not here?" Baekhyun deadpanned.

And he fell silent, he just stared at Baekhyun. Baekhyun stared back at him, waiting for his answer. He sighed heavily and he started crying, shaking his head, "No... I am not... and I will never be... I want him. I want him in my arms. I love him so much. I never want to lose him but I just did." He cried heavily on Baekhyun's shoulders. And Baekhyun could do nothing but to pat his Luhan hyung's back.

And Baekhyun saw Chanyeol watching them behind the door, his eyes were teary too. Can he feel what Luhan feels? Can he feel what I feel?

Chanyeol was walking together with Baekhyun on the street in a cold windy night when he brought a topic about Luhan.

"I saw you guys a while ago. You were hugging each other. Do you like Luhan?" Chanyeol asked Baekhyun.

And Baekhyun was a little bit surprised, and a little offended knowing that Luhan was crying because he's in pain, "What the hell Chanyeol, Luhan was crying on my shoulders. I hugged him to comfort him." he explained.

"So you love him?" he asked innocently.

"Yes, I do because he's my friend and my brother. I don't want him to cry. And hugging him is the only thing I can do for now." He smiled and they fell silent again.

"Chanyeol... I have a question for you." Baekhyun said. Chanyeol looked at him to continue to what he was saying, "Did you somewhat feel what Luhan felt?" he asked.

Baekhyun tilted his head for an answer but Chanyeol just stared at him so he said, "I guess not. You only know LOVE but you don't know PAIN. That's why you thought that I love him, because I was hugging him. But the truth that you didn't know is that he is in pain and that's the reason why I hugged him." Baekhyun told him and Chanyeol was hurt, the first time he was feeling this. And it wasn't so good.

Chanyeol bowed his head and pouted, "Why?" he sadly said and Baekhyun looked at him, "Why can't I feel the way you feel?"

"But you feel loved right?" Baekhyun tried to liven up his mood so he wouldn't feel guilty.

"Well yes, but I can't feel your pain because I simply aim and shoot hearts because of those color coded hearts. But not because I can feel the same intent you guys feel. I just know that you love someone because of what I can see not fully because of what I can feel. And realizing it now, I feel jealous towards you guys."

"No, I envy you. Because you can only feel love, you don't feel any sadness at all, you cannot feel any pain, and that's great. You don't have to feel guilt--"

"But look at me, I'm so insensitive. And I want to- I want to feel the same... I want to experience all the feelings you guys feel..." Chanyeol stopped walking so Baekhyun stopped too. He was still bowing his head when he held Baekhyun's hand, "I want to feel what you feel."

Baekhyun's heart beat quickly that he almost felt he wanted to jump and hug Chanyeol. But Baekhyun controlled it and simply said, "I want to be you."

"I want to be with you." Chanyeol squeezed his hand and Baekhyun fell... deeper and deeper in love with this guy.

~ ~ ~

Baekhyun woke up by the knocks he heard on the door of his room. He lazily got up the bed and walked towards the door. He opened it and Lay greeted him with his dimpled smile. "Hi! Good morning Baekhyun!"

He furrowed his drowsy eyes on Lay, "Aish, so early in the morning, why are you here?" Baekhyun said, scratching his head in annoyance.

"Well, I just thought..." he smiled sheepishly, "I just thought, uhm.. because you accepted me once in your house. I, I want you to go to my family, to my house." He invited them. Baekhyun looked at him, wrinkling his eyes, "Where? We'll go!" Chanyeol answered. Only Chanyeol answered.

~ ~ ~

As soon they arrived at YiXing's home. " you Lay." Baekhyun cursed and whispered to Lay. Lay was startled and looked like he was hurt and asked Baekhyun, "W-why?"

"This is the problem I'm avoiding!!" Baekhyun almost shouted because here they were, standing in front of the gate of the orphanage where he lived.

Baekhyun was afraid to come in but Chanyeol held his hand and mumbled, "I'm here." He assured Baekhyun. Baekhyun cold-heartedly walked inside that orphanage even though he saw many kids welcoming them.

"Uhm, Lay, are you an orphan here?" Chanyeol asked.

"Ahh, yes. I was an orphan here but a family took me." he answered. And Chanyeol nodded.

"So lucky." Baekhyun mumbled. And Lay asked why, probably he's heard what Baekhyun whispered. "Because there are some orphan who are not chosen by those families right? There are orphans here who are abandoned." Baekhyun coldly said.

And Lay's eyes suddenly fell. "Aish, don't say that." He scolded Baekhyun while rubbing some child's head.

"Why? It's the truth. The reason why there are children here is because they were abandoned by their families! Their family doesn't love them that's why they sent them here! They don't care!" Baekhyun shouted at Lay.

"Baekhyun!" Chanyeol tugged him on his arm. Baekhyun looked at him furiously and said, "Why?!! I'm just telling the truth! Our family abandoned us! Our family doesn't love us! Our family wants us to be ALONE!!! That's wh---" Baekhyun suddenly stopped when someone called his name. The voice was familiar, really familiar that made Baekhyun's heart hurt.

"Baekhyun-ah..." she mumbled. Baekhyun turned around and saw her tear-filled eyes. Baekhyun gulped so the heavy lump he felt on his throat would disappear. But every time he swallowed, it came back right away. So he just looked at her coldly. She. Is. The. One. Who. Fooled. Me.

"Baekhyun-ah.." she slowly stretched his hands to reach Baekhyun as if she was longing to hold him. Baekhyun took a step back, afraid to be touched by the one who once touched his heart but broke it. "Baekhyun... you came back." she now shed tears that Baekhyun's tear also dropped but he wiped it immediately.

"Let's go." Baekhyun turned around to go out of that orphanage but Chanyeol stopped him. Baekhyun looked at him, pleading, "Chanyeol please, I don't want to." tears filling his eyes.

"But you have to. You would always feel alone... because you feel, even you don't know it or you don't want to admit it, you feel that you left them. You are the one who abandoned them Baekhyun. And yes I am saying this to you again. You won't be happy because you're still hurt, you are mad. You won't be happy 'cause your heart has a wound. And they're the one of those who could heal it." He explained very well.

But Baekhyun didn't want to get his point, he didn't want to understand him because Chanyeol will never understand him. "No. I don't understand. I d---"

"Stop this Baekhyun!! Stop running away please! Do the thing you have to do now! Talk to them, please. You're hurt, I can see it so y--"

"But you can't feel it!! So you don't know everything! So shut your mouth up!" Baekhyun shouted at him. All the people who could hear them arguing were startled, including Baekhyun himself. Chanyeol then slowly let go of his hand. Baekhyun looked at him and he broke. Chanyeol was looking at him like Baekhyun was a stranger. And once again, Baekhyun ran away.

He ran to nowhere. Why? Baekhyun thought he was fine with it. He thought he could handle this but... why was he here? Crying alone. and It hurt so much. He didn't want to be alone. They left Baekhyun. And Baekhyun left them.

Baekhyun sat alone on the grass past midnight. He didn't know if he could face Chanyeol after the things he said to him. And as Baekhyun stayed there, Baekhyun realized that he had hurt the one he loved.

"Why?... Why can't I feel the way you feel?"

"But you feel loved right?"

"Well yes, but I can't feel your pain. Because I simply aim and shoot hearts because of those color coded hearts. But not because I can feel the same intent you guys feel. I just know that you love someone because of what I can see not because of what I can feel. And realizing it now, I feel jealous towards you guys."

"No, I envy you. Because you can only feel love, you don't feel any sadness at all, you cannot feel any pain, and that's great. You don't have to feel guilt--"

"But look at me, I'm so insensitive. And I want to... I want to feel the same... I want to experience all the feelings you guys feel... I want to feel what you feel."

"I wanted to be you."

"I wanted to be with you."

I know that he's only concerned of me, yet I told him those words....

"...You're hurt, I can see it so y--"

"But you can't feel it!! So you don't know everything!!! So shut your mouth up!"

Baekhyun ruffled his hair in guilt as he thought of the words he just said to Chanyeol: to the one who'd always been there for him; to the one who never left him even though he himself left him for times; to the one who's enduring in staying with the mad Baekhyun. Baekhyun bowed his head and stayed there, waiting for no one... or for someone... or for anyone. And he gave up because he knew that no one would come. Because Chanyeol was the only one who would come for Baekhyun. But now, Chanyeol wouldn't. Baekhyun was sure that no one knew that he was here, so he just laughed at himself like crazy. Afterwards, he cried himself to sleep.

~ ~ ~

Baekhyun slowly woke up, and found himself in his room. He looked around and saw Chanyeol, hugging him tightly as he snored innocently. Baekhyun felt his eyes were filling with tears. "I'm sorry." Baekhyun hugged him tightly while sobbing because of guilt. "Sorry, sorry..." Baekhyun endlessly mumbled.

"Baekhyun?" Chanyeol called him, a little bit startled but still, he rubbed Baekhyun's head gently. He felt like he had to make sure that Baekhyun would always feel loved.

"Sorry Chanyeol..." Baekhyun told him, still holding him close.

"Why are you crying?" he asked him and Baekhyun answered. "Because I hurt you."

"No... you didn't. I can't feel pain, right?" saying that made Baekhyun feel guiltier. His heart wrenched as the words he told Chanyeol earlier replayed in his mind.

"D-Don't say that. I still hurt you, even if you cannot feel it. And I'm sorry. I thought you're angry at me." Baekhyun pouted.

"I'm not. Oh! Do you know what? Lay also thought that I'm angry at you. And he's startled that I still asked them to look for you." he explained.

Baekhyun looked at him lovingly, "Why?"

"Because you're right. But I'm also right. And I want you to reali---"

"Nah yes... I realized it now. Sorry. I think about it--- ah wait, how did you find me?" he asked. Chanyeol looked up to think, and Baekhyun looked at him, waiting for an answer. "I saw Luhan, and he told me that you were there. And he's sorry because he just watched you, but he said that it's for you too. He thinks that if you're alone, you'll be able to realize the right thing."

Baekhyun blinked at what Chanyeol told him, "L-L-Luhan?"

"Yes. He said he was stargazing and you ran to the grass crying." He explained

Chanyeol just looked at him and sighed. "I really don't know what to do." Baekhyun looked down and played with his hands.

"Talk to them and don't run away." Chanyeol told Baekhyun because it was the right thing to do.  

Baekhyun pouted, "But I'll just cry in front of them."

"It's okay. Everyone has the right to cry. Everyone has the right to be hurt."

"Can I hit you?" Baekhyun asked him, looking up.

Chanyeol circled his eyes in confusion and asked him, "WHY? Are you still mad at me? I'm sorry." he pouted like he would cry. And Baekhyun smiled a little.

"No! No! Aish, because I want you to be hurt." he explained.

And he was puzzled, "W-why?"

Baekhyun laughed at Chanyeol's cuteness, but he just looked at him plainly. "Because as you said earlier, 'Everyone has the right to cry. Everyone has the right to be hurt.'... everyone... you're part of it. So you should be hurt, you should cry sometimes." Baekhyun smiled at him as he explained. And he wished that Chanyeol would understand it.

Chanyeol smiled and it told Baekhyun the answer to his wish, "I hope I would get hurt." He said as he lowered himself down to hug Baekhyun on his waist and to snuggle closer to the shorter one.

Baekhyun breathed deeply because he could feel that his heart was beating so loud. He didn't want Chanyeol to feel it.

~ ~ ~

"Chanyeol, I am dying..." Baekhyun told Chanyeol as they went through their way to the orphanage. He squeezed his hands and shook it.

"Aish, your hands are sweating! And you're exaggerating, duh! They're not monsters, and you'll just talk to them 'kay?" he told Baekhyun but squeezed his hands.

"Yah! Easy to say but it's hard to do!" Baekhyun rolled his eyes.

"Baekhyun-ah..." she called once again.

They stopped and turned around. Baekhyun's heart thumped loudly and painfully. He squeezed Chanyeol's hand but Chanyeol let go of his. Baekhyun looked at him, and he mumbled, "I'll play with the kids." Aish, so childish! Baekhyun cursed Chanyeol under his breahte, but he knew that Chanyeol just wanted him to talk with her.

And there Baekhyun was, standing in front of her, of the nun he used to love, of the mother he loved. Baekhyun breathed heavily and tried to stop himself from crying before he could speak but.. dang! His tears started to fall even without saying the words he wanted to throw to them.

And when she found that he was crying, she slowly went up to him and caressed his cheek lovingly. "Baekhyun." And she shed tears as well. Baekhyun bowed his head and cried heavily. He used his arms to wipe his tears and even if he couldn't, he still tried to stop the sadness and longing he felt.

"You came back..." she hugged Baekhyun lovingly. And he can't help but to hug her as well.

"I-I---" Baekhyun couldn't speak.

"Why did you leave? I miss you so much! Didn't I say that I want you? Why didn't you wait for me?" she caressed Baekhyun's cheeks repeatedly, "But you're here! Baekhyun-ah. We miss you. Did you miss us too?" she asked him, and Baekhyun didn't know why she was smiling.

Baekhyun just nodded because he couldn't speak. She laughed because she knew that. "Yah, Baekhyun-ah, speak up. I want to hear your beautiful voice like before." She said, wiping his tears.

Baekhyun finally looked at her, "I love you, mom." he managed to say. She hugged him tightly and cried so hard as well, "I love you too Baekhyun." And they both cried in each other's arms.

After that conversation, they've talked about a lot of things they missed. The time they were not together was replaced by good memories. And Baekhyun had never been so happy.