► c e l o by theshadowknight_
♡ bi a n d ca ∞ shop ||REVIEW BATCH ONE||
Reviewer : ForsakenAsherath || Story : Click
Title (5/5)
Lovely title. I prefer Celo over Our Secret any day. And yes, I did some ‘research’ here and there so I know this fic’s original title.
Originality (3.5/5)
It’s based on Hansel and Gretel so I can’t say it’s original.
Description/Foreword (5/5)
The foreword is meant to capture potential readers’ attention and you did a great job with it.
Grammar (5/5)
Spelling (5/5)
Punctuation (5/5)
Diction or choice of words (5/5)
Vocabulary (5/5)
There’s nothing wrong with your writing at all! Congrats!
Characterization (7/10)
You really know how to establish the characters personality by their action and they all do their respective role very well.
I’m actually dead set on thinking that the father is the evil one instead of the mother but suddenly BAM! Wicked mommy is here to spice up your life and throw you into despair!
You did a great job with the cannibalistic serial murderer but I think it wouldn’t hurt if you developed him a bit. Maybe you could offhandedly mention about his past victims, for example.
Flow (9/10)
Flow’s great! Good job. But I have a teensy-weensy problem with how early the murderer got defeated. The scene was good and you wrote it very well but it also felt anticlimactic because he only lasted for a couple of chapters.
Plot (7.5/10)
Again, I can’t really say the plot is original because it’s based on Hansel and Gretel but you added your own twist to the story like how you made it look like the father’s evil when in reality it’s the mother, how you set this in modern time and I really love the way the Byun siblings executed the murderer. Not that I’m a fan of knifes and strangulation or anything.
Enjoyment (9/10)
Overall Score (8/10)
Long story short, I really love it! There are a few things that irked me but I still enjoy it. This is for a contest, right? I hope you win or at least got selected! Thank you for requesting!!
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