Reviewer : Sapphire-27 || Story : Click

Title (4/5)

Originality (5/5)
Of course, I’ve seen mysterious stories regarding missed calls and stories when they get calls from the future but this is the first story I’ve come across that combines them. I must say that it's rather intriguing. 

Description/Foreword (4/5)
This section isn’t called ‘Summary’ so I guess what you put in was legit. Although, it would be more interesting if you, rather than say what you did (Title: Missed Call, Length: Two-shots, and so on), put in a small alluring summary that can capture people to read the story. 
 
Grammar (4/5)
Only little misses here and there. This is way more than I would expect from a non-native.   
 
Spelling (5/5)
Can we just appreciate this moment when I can’t remember you making a mistake?
 
Punctuation (5/5)
 
Diction or choice of words (4/5)
Sometimes the sentences can be stiff and awkward.
 
Vocabulary (5/5)
 
Characterization (8/10)
I was so upset at Changmin because he’s so innocent and trusting. I think you did great differentiating the characters but the interactions threw me in a loop. In the phone conversation, they said that they’ve never called each other ever since elementary school. Which I think is probably a long time from when the story is set. You didn’t really specify their ages. How do they still remember each other’s houses and know they still live there? Did they keep seeing each other outside of phones? Why are they still so casual after years not meeting each other? There were a lot of plot holes. 
 
Flow (5/10)
Everything is way too fast. Your story is a horror/mystery. When you’re doing these genres, you have to build up the suspense and keep the readers on their toes trying to guess what happens next. With the fast pacing, the feeling just isn’t there. The fact that the only other character is Jae gave a gigantic hint that Jaejoong is the culprit. 
 
Plot (10/10)
I like the plot. I really liked it. 

Enjoyment (4/10)
It was flat and a bit anti-climatic. I predicted what would happen and it was rather obvious from the start that Jae is an evil meanie who’s a smooth-talker (or Changmin is naïve and stupid).
 
I apologize for my harshness but I can say nothing else but the truth of how I felt. (I feel so mean now. Sorry. Mian. Gomen. Maaf.) 
 
Overall Score (6/10)
It was just such a letdown to see a perfectly good plot turn out to be something less than what its worth is. It is your first fic and this is already more than enough for a starter.
 
The story was creative, original and you took it from an event before making it into an idea then developing it into a story. I think being able to extract things around you (dreams, events) and create stories out of them is an important skill for an author. You’re on the right track and I’d say ‘Missed Call’ is a pretty good first fic. 
 
OH! And you can probably win a spelling bee (teehee). Thanks for requesting~ Feel free to come back, ne? 

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