Woohyun's POV, 21st March 2013

I woke upand the first thing I did was looking at the clock... 8:14... Because of our schedules we got used to waking up early...

I was feeling miserable once again...

There wasn't a time for the last month and a half I hadn't woken up feeling like this!

I had a feeling something would go seriously wrong today but I wasn't sure what?

I just hoped it wouldn't be something related to the extended album release!

Maybe it was nothing and I was just being dramatic...

But I soon found out what it was when I walked to the kitchen to get breakfast.

Sungjong was happily making breakfast for the members who were already awake but his smile suddenly faded when he saw me...

I felt guilt wash over me, but I wasn't about to have this talk with him now, I was still mad...

Not at him... At my parents... At myself for believing them all along... At everyone for never showing me otherwise... At the whole world in general...

"Goodmorning... Want me to prepare you something?" He said in an annoyed tone.

"Yah Lee Sungjong... You better treat your Hyung with a bit more of respect! What have your parents teached you?" I snaped at him.

"My parents always teached me to respect everyone who respects me! So I respected you until you started being a jerk and treating me like some kind of freak... Now if you'd excuse me!" He almost screamed, grabbing the board with the breakfast in it as he pushed past me walking to the living room where Myungsoo and Sungyeol were waiting for him.

"You okay?" I heard Sungyeol ask Sungjong while looking over at me from the corner of his eye.

I stayed there at the kitchens door feeling bad about myself and watching him eating happily with his best friends while I had no one.

I walked to the bathroom and sat with my back against the tub while hot tears left my eyes.

I sat there crying for what felt like an eternity before I heard the click of the door opening and Sunggyu's voice calling.

"Woohyun... Are you okay? What's wrong?" I felt his hands on my shoulders and I just wanted to scream at him to leave me alone but my sobs wouldn't even let me talk.

He hugged me for a few minutes while I calmed down and when I was calm enough to talk he asked again.

"What happened?"

"I don't want this anymore... I want to be able to live my life! I want people to support me! I... Gosh I feel so alone..."

Sunggyu's jaw dropped "What do you mean Nam Woohyun? If you're trying to tell me that you want to quit Infinite then you'll have to explain it to me from the beggining with every detail! You're fans are here to support you and you have us! Your members! You're not alone!"

"That's not it! I'm not talking about being an idol! Or the support of fans! Is that all you care about? Is that all you think about all the time? Not everything is about Infinite Sunggyu!" As I said this I pushed myself out of his embrace and made my way out of the bathroom!

"Woohyun come back here!" I heard Sunggyu scream behind me but I ignored his words as well as the stares the three members in the living room were giving me.

As I entered my shared room I locked the door so that no one would walk in again.

I curled myself under the blankets and cried silently once again.

How is it possible? All that matters to him is the safety of the group! Of course I also want the group to stay together for many years but it hurts to know that I'm not important...

I'm being over dramatic... I've always known it doesn't work like this... I don't just fall in love, confess during an argument and he says that he has loved me all along... This is not a movie!

Besides, he's straight... So that just makes it more unlikely for him to like me!

I've been trying to get this into my head for a long time but it doesn't seem to work...

I just have to forget about him! Get over all of this and go on living my life as an idol!

I wish I could only care about Infinite too! I really want for the band to be the most important thing for me... But it's not...

I heard a knock on the door and then Sungjong's soft voice.

"Hyung... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to make you upset... Are you okay?"

I knew that if I answered he'd notice right away that I was crying so I just stayed still trying to keep my sobs under control.

"All the members are going out today since it's our free day... Do you want to come?"

Again no answer.

"Alright... We are living in 20 minutes, if you want to come just come out of the room and meet us in the living room til then... I'll let you know when we leave... Again, I am really sorry hyung..." I could hear the sadness in Sungjong's voice and once again, guilt took over my body but I didn't allow myself to let it out or he'd notice I was crying...

"Come on Sungjong! This is not worth it... He doesn't even deserve this apology, he's the one who has been an ... Besides you cried yourself to sleep for a month and he did nothing, and now he's crying, we don't even know why and you come here to apologize? This doesn't make sense... Let's go..." Myungsoo's words on the other side of the door made their way to my heart and as soon as I heard their footsteps walking away I allowed myself to cry...

My sobs loud this time...

I quickly fell asleep in my wet pillow. Even though I had just woke up about an hour ago, my head was still really tired because of all that happened in the morning...

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My buzzing phone woke me up a few hours later and I unlocked it to check the time.

11:35... And a new text from Howon...

From: Howon, 11:35
Hyung, we are right now heading for the shopping center, everything's fine at home? Need anything?

I slid my phone inside my pajama pants pocket without texting back and got up from bed making my way out of the room.

I looked for signs that someone was home but nothing...

I then remembered what Sungjong said about all the members going out together and then Howon's text suddenly made sense.

I felt my stomach aching and realized I hadn't eatten anything yet since last night so I quickly walked to the kitchen.

I grabbed a plate and went to grab some milk and saw a note on the fridge door, it was Dongwoo's handwritting.

"We'll be going for a walk in the park and then later we'll go to the shopping center to grab some lunch and we'll spend the afternoon around there! If you need anything just text any of the members!"

I smiled a little as I noticed the drawing of a smile by the end of the note.

After my late breakfast I decided to go take a shower but as I laid my foot on the living room and looked at the couch I remembered Myungsoo's words and felt my legs weakening... My eyes got teary for the nth time that day but I still went to my wardrobe to pick up some clothes and went directly to the bathroom not daring to look at the couch again.

As I got to the bathroom I let myself slide down the door and cried again...

I don't even cry that much, what's wrong with me lately?

I have been such an idiot to almost everyone!

I ignored and mistreated our maknae! I screamed and disrespected our leader! And I even blamed them for this things when it was my own fault...

How can I be so insensitive... Such a failure of a friend... Such a loser...

What would my fans think of me? How am I supposed to inspire anyone or be someone's idol if I'm a terrible person?

By now I was sobbing so loudly that I could be heard in the whole dorm! Thanks god no one was home!

I was pulling at my hair with both hands! How could I be such an hypocrite?

Expecting them to support me when I couldn't even support Sungjong in the same  situation?

As I lifted my head slightly, I saw something that reminded me of my high school time... Before I was even a trainee...

Before my best friend was a trainee...

Something that reminded me of Kibum...

I knew I'd probably regret this, but this had helped Kibum, so it might help me too right?

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A/N: Hiiiiii :D how have you guys been doing?? I am kind of sick so I am staying home and using this time to write a few chapters for you guys! What do you think of this chapter!? Are you still interested in the story or do you think it is getting boring?? :c

Kibum, Woohyun's friend who appears in this chapter is (I bet most of you know of their friendship by now xD but for new Inspirits) Key from SHINEE