Painful Topics
How Could You Do This?"So. We need to talk about what's going to happen now." Siwon said to a bleary-eyed Big Bang.
None of them had slept very well the night before, having had the excitement in the middle of the night. And Taeyang hadn't been the only one with disturbing dreams.
"What's going to happen now is Daesung's funeral." Top said quietly. Siwon looked surprised.
"I didn't think -"
"Why not? Why the hell wouldn't we go?"
"I just meant, I didn't think his father would want -"
GD flared up at that. "Why should we listen to what he wants? We were Daesung's closest friends, his family really, after his family disappointed him. We're going whether his father wants us to or not." the others nodded in agreement. Siwon sighed.
"When is it?"
"We already checked. It's this afternoon at three."
Siwon looked at their stubborn faces and sighed again. "All right, but wear disguises. After, we are talking about the group. I know you guys are stalling. The second you get home, got it?" they nodded reluctantly.
Siwon left them to their own devices until it was time to leave. Top was sitting next to the window, listening to music, gazing absently at the street below. GD sat alone in his room, writing. Composing songs always helped him when he was upset. Before long, there was a pile of crumpled up paper around his chair. Seungri was asleep on the couch.
Taeyang stood outside his and Daesung's bedroom door. He wasn't supposed to go in there, but he needed clothes. All his things were in that room. But he didn't think he'd be able to handle just touching the door.
Y'know, Daesung? Why did you have to do it in our room? He thought, only half-joking.
Daesung laughed softly. "Sorry 'bout that." then his tone got serious. "I figured I wanted to be found by people I know, in a familiar place." he sounded sad.
Daesung. Taeyang thought desparingly. I can't go in there. There's too much you in there.
"Come on, hyung." Daesung said quietly. "You can do it."
Taeyang reached around the tape and closed his fingers over the handle, ready to turn it.
As he did, a wave of nausea swept over him, just as it had yesterday, and he let go of the handle as if it burned him.
I'm sorry, Daesung. I can't. Going in there makes it seem too real.
"Ok." Daesung sounded disappointed.
Daesung?
No answer. Daesung was gone.
Taeyang went to Seungri. "Seungri-ah?" Seungri opened one eye.
"Hmm?"
"Can I . . . borrow some clothes?"
Both eyes were open now. "Uh . . ."
"All mine are in my room."
"Oh. Sure."
"Thanks."
The four of them got changed to leave. Simple black pants and button downs were all they needed. They each put on a pair of sunglasses paired with a scarf or a beanie.
Siwon beeped in front of the dorm and they piled into the car.
They arrived at the cemetery a few minutes later. As they walked through the gates to the small ceremony, Daesung's father glanced at them and did a double take. His eyes narrowed, but he didn't disturb the ceremony.
They joined the crowd. Taeyang found himself gazing around a tthe people rather than listening to how wonderful Daesung's life was.
"So, what do you think of the turnout?"
Taeyang glanced at the sky. Really Daesung?
"What? Just curious here!"
Taeyang did his best to keep a straight face. It's mostly your family and close friends. Y'know, we weren't invited. We crashed.
"Why am I not surprised?"
Your dad doesn't look too happy that we're here.
Daesung sighed. "I know. But I'm glad you are. I wanted you to come. It . . . it means a lot."
You're welcome, Daesung-ah.
Taeyang felt a nudge and looked up at GD. "The ceremony's over, Young-bae. You look a little spaced."
"Sorry." he glanced at Mr, Kang, who was glaring at them. GD followed his gaze and sighed.
"Shall we get this over with?" he groaned. The four of them squared their shoulders and went to talk to Daesung's father.
"What are you doing here?" he hissed at them. "I told your manager," he spit out the word like it was poison. "That you were not to show your faces here."
Top put a calming hand on GD's shoulder. GD looked like he wanted to start yelling again. "We wanted to pay our respects to our close friend." Top said pointedly. "He would have wanted us here."
Mr. Kang looked like he wanted to argue, but his wife stopped him. "Daesung would have wanted it." she said softly. "It would be an insult to his memory to not allow the people who he spent his time with to come." Mr. Kang hesitated, then nodded grudgingly.
"You have ten minutes." he said, then turned his back on them.
They made their way over to the grave and just stood there for a second. Seungri already had tears sreaming down his cheeks. Top just looked at the ground, while GD kept his gaze on the sky. Taeyang just looked away.
"I'm sorry. I . . . I can't." he moved away.
As he did, Taeyang heard something coming from the gates of the cemetery. He looked up and gaped in surprise.
Coming towards them was literally hundreds of people, mostly female, carrying signs. He squinted at the words. They read, "Remember Daesung! Big Bang hwaiting!" The people were chanting the words on the signs as they came closer.
Taeyang felt a lump come up in his throat and he had to turn away, to hide his tears as much as his face. He ran back to the others.
"Ambush. Let's get out of here." he muttered, discreetly wiping his eyes. They looked confused for a minute, then saw the crowd. Their eyes widened.
"Yeah. Let's go." they left as hastily and inconspicuously as they could, but not before they saw the furious look on Mr. Kang's face.
As they ran, Taeyang heard Daesung laughing.
Shut up. This is your fault.
"Sorry. You guys just look really funny. And I thought we weren't blaming anyone." he heard a smirk in his voice. Taeyang rolled his eyes.
They got back to the car and dived in, panting. "Well, you can't deny that was exciting." they all glared at Seungri, who closed his mouth, fast.
Siwon drove away as fast as he could and they arrived back at the dorm in record time.
Siwon gathered them together in the living room. "Now. We talk."
"Can't we -"
"No. We're talking now. I know you guys don't want to talk about his, but it's very important. I want each of you to tell me what you think we should do. Seungri, start."
Seungri looked put-upon. He opened his mouth, then closed it, apparently thinking hard. Then he spoke, an edge in his voice. "I think we should disband." he ignored the cries of "Seungri" and "What are you saying?" and continued. "I mean, think about it. Daesung was our best singer, one of our best dancers, and let's face it. The life and soul of our group. I just don't think -"
"Well, I think we should keep going." GD said firmly. "We need to show Korea that we're strong and we can handle things like -"
"You think Daesung did that so we can prove our strength?" Seungri said heatedly.
"I agree with Seungri. I'm not sure we can continue like this." Top cut in.
Everyone looked at Taeyang, who felt completely helpless.
"I can't. I don't know." he got up and went into his work room, slamming the door. It was quiet.
"We don't have to decide yet." Siwon said. "I just want you to think about it." they nodded still looking a little angry. "I'll be back later, okay? You guys calm down and try to think about this. This is your career we're talking about. It's not to be taken lightly."
And with that, he left the dorm.
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So this is definitely not over yet. The next chapter will be intense with this.
Hope you keep reading, and aren't getting weirded out by Taeyang talking to Daesung. It really is purely his imagination.
Comment and let me know what you think!
=) Aiko
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