SJ-M COMEBACK! *EXCITED*EXCITED*EXCITED*
Ahh..my KYUHYUK FEELS <333
So I'm updating to celebrate their upcoming comeback! And of course for the loyal readers ^^
Just FYI, I'm still not exactly happy with the number of upvotes :(
I still gonna expect you (those who haven't) to upvote.
This chapter is short due to circumstances. Because I couldn't make it longer without it being too draggy. Anyway, just read on.


"Hyukjae, let's break up."

It took almost all my energy to say these words.

I couldn't bear to stay here any longer, I need to flee this place quickly.

I only took one step away before hyukjae tugged me back forcefully and spun me around. I lost my balance and almost fell onto the ground, if not for hyukjae who caught me in time.

In a blink of an eye, he gripped the back of my neck, pulling me even closer and smashed his lips onto mine. In shock, I tried to turn my head to pull away from the kiss, but he held me firm with an almost bone-crashing grip. His kiss was rough, demanding, and he wanted to gain access inside but I clamped my mouth shut stubbornly. He obviously didn't take "no" for an answer, because he bit my lips and took the chance to sneak inside my mouth when I cried out in pain.   

Our teeth clashed against each other's, and after sometime, I could taste something metal and salty. Then I realised that my lips were bleeding, and I became really frightened because I had never seen this side of hyukjae before. His eyes were wild, his actions were so rough, plus he didn't even care that he was hurting me.

I could feel myself hyperventilating. My heart was beating too fast and I couldn't breathe.

"..mmmpfh..mm..", I clawed at his chest futilely, trying to make him release me.

Unknowingly, I had started shaking and crying at the same time, as I was scared stiff. Then, I think a few drops of my tears fell on his face, and hyukjae released me abruptly as if he was burned by them. Finally gaining my freedom, I took in big gulps of air to fill my lungs.

Then raising my shaky hands, I slapped him as hard as I could. 

"You said you would wait till I finally fall in love with you.", hyukjae glared at me, looking betrayed.

"..I-I don't know what you're saying..", I stuttered. Afraid that he would hurt me again, I backed away from him.

A tear escaped the corner of his eye, and he rubbed it away with his sleeve furiously.

Grabbing me by my shoulders, he screamed, "YOU SAID YOU WOULD WAIT FOR ME! YOU SAID SO!"

He was gripping me so hard that his fingernails were stabbing into my flesh, and I was sure that there would be bruises later.

"Ow..", I whimpered in pain, "l-let go!"

I didn't know if he'd heard me, but he dropped his head down.   

"S-so why...why.", his voice broke, hands sliding down my side lifelessly, "why are you not keeping your promise?"

Then he buried his face into his hands, and hyukjae started crying in front of me. 

His shoulders quaked, and his sobs were heart-wrenching. His chest also heaved up and down as he was crying so hard.
 
My heart throbbed in pangs of pain and guilt. 

Yes, I did.

I promised him that I will wait for him to love me, but, I broke my promise.

It was just too hard.

Too hard for me. I'm also only a human too, all this heartache and pain, I can only withstand up to this much.

I'm sorry, hyukjae. Forgive me for being such a selfish person.

As much as I wanted to console him, put my arms around him and tell him that everything would be okay, I couldn't.

I didn't want to lie, I could not keep my promise anymore, so there was no way we could be okay.

I saw hyukjae stopped crying, and he lifted his head up and inched slowly towards me, as pain and regret was clearly etched on his face. He seemed as though he wanted to tell me many things, but when he opened his mouth, no words came out.

So for a long time, we stared at each other, and neither of us spoke.

"help me.", I heard a small strangled gasp come from hyukjae.

I frowned, looking at him, not sure if I heard correctly.

"help me. please.", he repeated again, still in the same strangled voice but louder this time.

"I'm so tired.", he whispered. "I'm so tired of loving him. I don't want to anymore."

I widened my eyes and gaped at him dumbly.

He sighed, "I've liked hae longer than you could imagine, ever since we were trainees."

"I'm so tired of always being his bestfriend.", he ran his fingers through his hair, "you're right. It was so painful when I had to act like I was excited and happy for him when he told me he liked siwon. That pain- it was suffocating. It was like you couldn't breathe because you know the heavy emotions you carry in your heart now will never be resolved and you'll have to live with that heartache forever."

"And you know what?", hyukjae laughed, "I actually helped him plan and confess to siwon. I gave up the person I love with both hands." 

"Do you know how painful that is?", he asked with an expression so forlorn that my heart lurched.

I brought my hand up and touched my heart, "I know, hyukjae. I know."

"That pain you just described..that's how I'm feeling now.", I added. Before this, I never thought that hyukjae was experiencing the same thing that I was going through. Now that I know he could understand how I was feeling, I felt better. I felt more justified. I felt that maybe, just maybe...

"So.", he paused, chewing on his lips hesistantly before taking in a huge breath, "I know I being selfish. But, kyuhyun..could you, would you please  please help me?"

Before I could even say anything, he covered my mouth with his hand and added hurriedly, "don't reject me first. please. Please, kyu, promise me that you'll think about it."

I nodded and he dropped his hand.

I studied hyukjae. Although he tried to look calm, his hands were clasp