Chapter 4

Faith, Hope and Love

*Baekhyun's POV*

It's been two months and as much as I hoped that by this time she'd already gotten out of the hospital and is already recovering, she isn't. Instead, it's gotten worse and I don't know how to handle it, the others told me how absurd it was to fall for someone in a hospital since they were bound to be sick but I don't really care.

Her attacks have become more frequent and severe; the last time she was sent to the ICU longer than the usual and she just slept through those days. I talked with Mr. Choi and he told me that it MIGHT be because of the other organ that were removed.

She's been here for two months and yet they still don't have a definite reason on why this is happening to her, besides weren't the other organs also removed by doctors? How can they not see this happening?

Her family is also shaken, especially her mother. I recall one of the conversations I had with her mother while she was asleep. I asked her how they could still smile in front of her and she answered me with a sad smile.

"Cho Mee is a naturally happy girl ever since; She always has faith. She might have already told you this but she often told us how she'd introduce you to us someday and look at us now, talking casually as if it's the most normal thing in the world -she chuckles- Cho Mee never lost hope in anything and even though that might be because of her friends, it's still her choice. So how can we smile in front of her? Because that's what she needs most right now. Think about it, if we're feeling like this then how could she be feeling? She still has faith and her hope hasn't vanished. We can smile because we love her." She finished, looking at Cho Mee's sleeping figure.

In the past month the machines connected to her body has increased. She doesn't get enough sleep, lost her appetite thus making her lose weight. The bags under her eyes have deepened and even though it pains me to say this, it's obvious that this disease -whatever it might be- is eating her from the inside to out.

I take a deep breath and turn the knob of the door, pasting a well-trained smile on my face. She doesn't need to see me frown.

"Yah! Baekhyun-ssi, why do you look so glum?" Cho Mee asks, her voice strained.

"Mwo? I don't look glum. Just tired, that's all." I answer; setting the fruits I've brought down to the table then walked towards the bed and kissed her forehead. She just looks up and smiles.

"Baekhyun-ssi, let's go up." she tells me, unhooking everything except the IV and getting ready to climb out of bed.

This doesn't surprise me, we've been doing this a few times since she told me the machines weren't helping her; they just trapped her in the four corners of her room. Of course I told the doctors about this and they told me that they wouldn't recommend unhooking we to the machines but since they still couldn't pinpoint what was wrong with her they weren't sure either.

I help her up and we go to the rooftop. I let her sit on her usual spot and for a few minutes we just feel the breeze caress us and watch the lights flicker until I voice something out.

"Are you okay?" I asked. I know it's a stupid question, how can she be fine? But something just pushed me to do it.

She turns her head to look at me; all I see is her silhouette, not every detail on her face since the dark sky shadowed parts of her - how I wish it didn't.

"Me? I'm just peachy. -a sob-actually no, I'm not okay. Ever since I was a kid I never thought I'd go through any of this. I'm an incomplete entity. Why didn’t God just take me? That would have been more merciful than this." she screams, asking why God didn’t just take her. And for a few minutes I just sat there letting her take out all her frustrations but then I couldn't take it anymore.

I take her by the shoulders, shook her then hugged her tightly. Burying my face in her hair, inhaling her sweet scent.

"I love you. It's only been two months, I know but I've fallen. I know this is unfair but I want you to still have faith and fight. Fight for your life; hold on even if it feels so impossible and I promise that I'll do everything I can to make all this better. I won't promise that everything will be okay right away -that's unfair- but it will, eventually. Just hold on and keep fighting. Please, Kang Cho Mee. Don't give up." I say, preventing my tears from falling. I've said it and she's just silent. I move her at arm’s length, and look at her.

"Baek, you can't. You can't love me. Please, anyone but me." she says, tears falling down her pale cheeks.

"But I already fell for you, I didn't mean to Cho Mee." I answer her, shaking my head.

She just look down, her quaking shoulders make her look so fragile. Once again, I engulf her in a hug. I will never let her go.

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xoxoxo Kyon Seul