The following week even got worse than I thought. I was litterally just avoiding any Taemin related stuff. When he texts me, I would cut it short and have his practice as an excuse to cut our conversation short. When he calls me I pretend that I'm asleep and will later on call him to explain why i didn't answer his phone call. When he asks to meet up I tell him that I'm visiting his relatives. I can't face him right now because I know what it will be like the moment I say yes to him. The moment I hold his hand. The moment I give in. It will be every bit of wrong decision that I will regret someday, if not now. Ever since my father left us I have nothing but cautious. I was always too afraid to do something bold enough on my own. Taking this trip was a big step for me since I know it took me more than 5 years to finally decide that I wanted to do this on my own.

I don't know why but my feet dragged me to the old park that Taemin shared to me. I know it looks deserted but it has this healing feeling whenever I come here. And now it's doing it's magic again. The wind blew as I watch the blue sky. It was the brightest of day so i have decided to at least enjoy that bit. I walked over to the old oak tree. Taemin and I use it for shade. It was old but it was definitely strong. 

I sat down and let my thoughts flow. Taemin always said that this place kept him sane and for some reason, it did the same thing for me. I let out a big sigh and watched the green grass swayed as the wind fill up the area. I took out my phone and for the first time I decided that it was about time to apologize for the one person who entrusted me with a lot of things in his life.

RING! RING!

My head snapped to where he was. It's his ringtone---

"I thought you'd never call" he smiled at me as he scooted next to me. Filling the space that was between us. "Did you miss me?"

"Taemin..." my heart skipped a beat this was something I have been holding on for too long already. So what if he's an idol, what if his schedule will be full, what if there are times when I can't count on him 100% because he'll be busy doing something else, what if his agency will find out. I have some many doubts in myself that I keep that maybe it was time to let those doubts off. For once, I should be at least ready to face any consequences and deal with it because I decided it in the first place. "...why do you like me?"

He chuckled but then he looked at me deeply as if I was under his charms "Because you make me feel safe. Because i get to be honest to you, about how I feel and how I am" his fingers fell on my cheeks. It was the first he had ever touched my face and his touch made me calm. "How about you?" 

I bit my lip as I move closer to his face. I don't know how much I will regret it or how much I will like this but for now, this is just the two of us. I liked him for a long time and he felt the same way. It was easy like that. Everything is easy if we both just don't think the other factors. I will learn from him as he will learn from me. I slowly closed my eyes, took a deep breath and kissed him.

We kissed.

At this very moment, my heart beat was racing. My hand held his neck as his hands my face. It was the first time in a long time that I have felt like this for someone and it felt nice. It feels liberating to do so. Right now, he mattered the most to me. 

We both smiled at the same time after that. It was awkward but in the good way. I rested my head on his shoulder as he held my hand. "I will protect you, you know that" he broke the silence. I looked at him, his eyes were serious. Usually when he say words like that he would end it with his warm smile but not this time. He looked serious, like it's as if the two of us will be going to war. 

"Of course you should. I'll be the only girl who won't run after you at the airport" i teased.

He looked at me and smiled. His smile was beginning to be a sign of hope for me. It was as if, nothing could break us apart when he does that. I like it when he smiles.

"This!" I said point at his face. "I promise to give you that always" 

His laugh is as wonderful as his smile and it made me laugh as well. His warmness is contagious, maybe that's why like him. Taemin is like this teddy bear that you can just hug and speak to everyday. He's warm and as adorable. I don't think there's any bad angle of him.

"Then I promise to always give you a reason to make me smile" 

he raised his pinky finger as I did as well.

Even with promises I know I have doubts but I trust him and he trusts me. At last, we sealed our promises with the pinky swear.

(Sorry guys, this was a rather short chapter.... I will update soon. So I hope you guys read, subscribe and comment <3 -crazyHJ)