Last night was bitter sweet and I didn't think I would have this guilt inside of me even when I woke up in the morning. My conversation with my aunt did have me thinking and it made me scared for so many reasons. One of which is the fear of losing him. I knew I haven't had that so much time to know Taemin but to me we're practically bestfriends. We became close in such a short amount of time. People may call it something else but to the two of us, it's just pure attraction. We both like the same things most of time even with habits. That's why we became close. I don't know how Taemin said it to my aunt but with the way she acted yesterday, it's really starting to worry me now. I'm pretty sure SHINee members are clear on us dating so that leaves the question of : Does his manager and his company know about this? 

I went into the living room at the site of my aunt eating breakfast and watching variety shows. She didn't smile at me. There were no reactions. I sat next to her and opened the banana milk. 

"for the record, I'm not upset about you dating Taemin." she started while munching on some cereal. "It's just that I'm more worried for the two of you getting caught by the media." her eyes followed me. 

"We're not going to get caught" I said stubbornly. For once in my life, people should stop telling me what to do and that goes for him too. His agency and every staff behind him is responsible for the anxiety that Taemin is having sometimes. He's too stressed and doesn't react properly to things because he has to act like he's perfect ALL the time. It's suffocating him.

"Well what if you do get caught?" she cocked an eyebrow as she fixed her glasses. "What do you do, then?" she added. "If you're thinking that I'm sounding to act like your mom then stop right there. I'm not. I'm just concerned, Krystal. YOU are my family and whatever happens in the end I will be the one to protect you. And you have to already imagine how much protection I will be giving you." she rolled her eyes a bit and ate again. "Promise me one thing and one thing alone." it took her time to chew her food befor she could finish her whole sentence "... when something goes wrong, tell me immediately" 

At that moment, she sounded more serious than usual. What is up with her and worrying about me with this too much? This is not making sense at all. Am i the only one who is naive about these things? Was it really THAT serious?

I did nod at her. I just wanted her to calm down though, little did I know that that promise shouldn't have been taken lightly.

At around 11 am, i tried texting Taemin.

Krystal: "Sleepyhead wake up. I know you don't have practice today but your birthday is already over. WAKE UUUUp~! kkk"

Taemin: "Woke up 2 mins ago."

Krystal: "ya! you didn't text me? -bbuing bbuing-"

Taemin: "Yawning is more important, i guess. kkk"

Krystal: "bad boyfriend"

Taemin: "kkkkkkkk. <3 <3 <3"

Krystal: "I didn't give you a present yet because I wanted to buy it with you."

Taemin: "really? <3 I'd like that."

Krystal: "Choose anything you want"

Taemin: "Becareful what you're saying. I'm quite spoiled sometimes"

And so we did meet up at around 2 in the afternoon. He had his celebrity facial mask on and hat. His dress was too casual, it feels like he's just at home. We shopped around Myungdong because the shops there were really cute. Taemin had to chose on of the best though. Then we passed through this store that sells antique souveniers. Walking inside, my eyes couldn't believe what i just saw. It's the butterfly necklace on one of the displays. Taemin approached me and had his arms around me "I bought that here." he smiled at me as he waved for attention to the seller.

"I'll take the butterfly bracelet, please" Taemin said.

The old man gave it to Taemin and then I took out my money to pay. It is after all my birthday gift to him. "Couple accessory" I said as I stared at his wrist and he stared at my neck. It was the same butterfly design.

"The butterfly can mean so many things in a person's life" the old man interrupted the two of us. "It means metamorphosis which means a person can change for the better or for the worse of himself. This unwavering acceptance of her metamorphosis is also symbolic of faith. A person understands the hardships in life and yearns for it to be better-- all because of faith. A butterfly also sympolizes elegance and beauty just like this young lady here." he smiled "And lastly a butterfly symbolizes time. Since it takes time for a butterfly to become beautiful, it has to stay in its cocoon for awhile until it can become a masterpiece." 

Taemin smiled at the old man and we said our thank yous. His arm was still around me when we went out to the store. My eyes were glued to his wrist. It is really pretty...

"OMG! IT'S TAEMIN OPPA!!!!!!!!! I TOLD YOU I WAS RIGHT. IT IS HIM" a girl in uniform was screaming and on her hands was her phone. So did her friends. They were taking pictures. 

I FROZE. LITERALLY.

The fact that Taemin's hand was around me and we're both smiling was the one thing that was captured on camera or on video. My heart skipped a beat and I felt like I was about to die at the moment she and her friends took the picture.

I couldn't concentrate much but I did hear them saying:

"Who's that girl with him?"

"Are they dating?"

"Taemin oppa has a girlfriend? It can't be?!"

"They look cozy right now. It's definitely a date!" 

Then the one question that probably made my heart stop all of a sudden. "Is she your girlfriend?" and this time, it was not the group of friends who asked it. It was a reporter with a dslr camera on his hands taking pictures as if he was at a pres conference.

I didn't know what to do but somewhere between the interrogations and the cameras flashing, I was dragged out into the crowd and finally I was sitting at an empty vip room rented by Taemin. I was shaking. ALOT. 

"They took pictures..." those were the first words I could say right now.

"Hyung! Call a taxi right now. I'll tell you the address................... I know.................. I know................... I understand................. but............. please................. hyung................. just call it..................... i'll explain later"

Taemin stared at me, I was still shaking at what happened. "This was not suppose to happen." i started to tear up. Taemin immediately hugged me tight. "Shhhh. It's not your fault. It's okay" he said while swaying me a bit. "We're going to get through this I promise" 

That's when I started to cry. Get through this? What do you mean by that, Taemin?!

"I called for a cab for you, they have no idea we're here anyway. All you have to do is to pretend like you're a customer." he said but i couldn't help but still sob. "Krystal, listen... listen to me" he wiped my tears "Your mission is just to get in that cab and go home as fast as you can. Stop for no one. Look at no one, okay?"

I nodded.

He kept hugging me until I finally tried to calm down and the taxi called. Like he said, I looked at no one and pretended like I was a customer. I walked as fast as I could to the taxi and thankfully no one was really there to take a picture.

Walking inside the apartment, my aunt wasn't still there. I needed to just tell someone about this or at least cry about it. Hug someone, that's all. But she's at work. She doesn't know how much I need her right now. 

After I took a bath, I sat on the living room and opened my laptop. I was too scared to go through the blogs but i have no idea if it's released or not. the suspense is killing me right now, so i just decided to type the website, clicked 'go'. My heart stopped once again. My eyes widened and my brain started to hurt. Both Naver and Daum had Taemin's girlfriend trending at #1 ; SHINee Taemin #5 and Lee Taemin caught at #7. I didn't read any of the articles-- I am too weak to do so. I couldn't I could never do it. It's killing me but I can't. 

To make matters even more convincing, my phone rang and it's my aunt. SHE KNOWS! She wouldn't be calling at this time of the night if this is not trending right now. 

I ignored the call and tried calling Taemin. It was ringing but no one was answering it.

OH MY GOD?!?!?!?!?!

I'm freaking out right now. I don't think I can sleep tonight.

[UPDATE: WHO WANTS A TAEMIN POV? WHO WANTS A CHAPTER WITH JUST TAEMIN'S POV???? I'm currently caught in between making a POV for Taemin (the whole chapter) or not. Comment if you want! - crazyHJ]