Chapter VI
All My Feelings For You|| J's apartment 9.09pm ||
Stupid brown paper bag.
J pushed open the pink door and stepped out of the room. Taeyeon choked on air. She was so close to finding out J's identity but the same stupid bag was stopping her.
"Are you…" Taeyeon started but didn't finish.
All the cogs in her brain started ticking. What if J was actually Jessica? Would she simply faint? Or start spewing nonsense? Act like a crazy fan?
What if J didn't want her identity revealed? Would she choose to ignore Taeyeon?
"… okay?" Taeyeon completed her sentence.
"Im fine." J nodded.
"Why are you hiding your face?"
"I don't know."
"I got a boy meotjin~ I got a boy chakhan!" Throwing a suspicious glance at J, Taeyeon picked up.
"KIM.. KIM… KIM TAEYEON!!!! GUESS WHO I SAW?!?!!" Sooyoung's voice blasted through the speakers.
"JESSICA!! JESSICA JUNG!!!"
Taeyeon raised an eyebrow. So the person standing in front of her wasn't Jessica after all. Was it?
"When?"
"TEN MINUTES AGO!!!!"
Sighing, Taeyeon simply resigning to her fate. Although the reply seemed to be directed to her… It could have been pure coincidence. Pondering about her conclusion that J was Jessica, Taeyeon felt silly. It was impossible that a mere girl like her would meet a goddess so easily, much less having hugged a goddess. It was hard enough for her to get an autograph and only in her wildest (daily) dreams would she have the chance to converse with her idol.
Flash. Everything emanated white light rays.
Flash. Everything was normal again.
Taeyeon blinked.
"Thanks, again." J directed at Taeyeon.
"You owe me unburnt pancakes." Taeyeon grinned while her imaginary beard.
Confused yet amused, J nodded obligingly then paused.
"Taeyeon you're bleeding." J rushed over to inspect the wounded hand.
After looking down, Taeyeon scratched her head with her free hand, telling J it was fine, it was just a small cut. She probably injured it while picking up the glass shards.
The two girls sat on the couch as the mysterious girl, after much insistence on her part, cleansed Taeyeon's wound and gingerly put a bandage on. Taeyeon gazed at the delicate figure that tended to her so carefully. The last time she felt so cared for was back when her mother was still around. With each beat of her heart, a warm feeling palpitated through her body, engulfing her body in a myriad of feelings that she tried to suppress.
"Are you hurt? He hit you right?" Taeyeon began.
J shook her head and there was silence.
When J was almost done, Taeyeon cleared . "What happened… Just now?"
"Ah.." J seemed to exhale despair.
Taeyeon felt the grip on her hand tighten a little before retracting away.
"It's a long story." J looked down at her hands, fidgeting.
"Time is what we have, hmm?"
The once deathly cold, one syllable girl was like a different person altogether. Her intimidating aura had completely vanished, leaving behind only vulnerability and weakness.
J breathed in.
"It's my dad." Unsure of whether to continue, J stopped.
Nodding encouragingly, Taeyeon waited.
"After my mother left us, he's been like that. She left us when I was ten years old, saying that my dad wasn't rich enough and couldn't provide for us. He proved her wrong, eventually. But it changed him. He blames me. Because I was another mouth to feed, because I was a burden, because I was the one who caused mom to leave."
Wet blotches appeared on the brown paper bag.
"He thinks I want his money. But I really don't…"
The blotches on the paper bag expanded.
"All I am is a burden."
Taeyeon stretched out her hand, dipping below the paper bag to cup J's cheek with her hand. Moving closer, she stared deep into J's eyes.
"Trust me, you're not a burden. I might not have known you for a long time, but you're definitely not a burden. You… You're too independent for your own good."
A gentle smile was upon Taeyeon's lips as she pressed her forehead against J's, whispering,
"You're not a burden."
Pulling back, Taeyeon leaned on the couch and checked the time. It was a quarter past eleven.
"Don't go." J whispered so softly that Taeyeon almost missed it.
"I'll need a toothbrush."
J froze momentarily. She hadn't noticed that she said her thought out loud. Without the obstructive paper bag, Taeyeon would have seen the tinge of pink that spread across J's face.
|| 11.49pm J's room ||
If not for the stack of books on J's table, Taeyeon would have thought that she walked into a child's room. The walls were painted light pink, and looking up, there were glow-in-the-dark stars pasted on the ceiling. There was a line of neatly arranged stuffed toys on the baby blue cupboard which complemented the boxes of children's colour pencils next to them.
She laughed. Of all types of rooms that she could think of, she would have never thought J's room would look like that. Cold yet a little girl at heart. Just like an ice princess.
"This is my side and this your side." J sped through her words, obviously embarrassed by the childish backdrop.
There was a bolster barrier in-between the two sides.
The 'stars' above Taeyeon shone brightly as she snuggled into the thick blanket on the right side of the bed. To be honest, she couldn't believe she was sleeping in a strangers bed. Well, not exactly a stranger, but she had only known J for… two days. She forced herself from springing up. The thought played again in her mind.
Kim Taeyeon. You are in bed with a person you've known for two days. TWO. DAYS.
Not that they were doing anything, but it just felt….. surprisingly right. Taeyeon was conflicted between being shocked at her own actions and indulging in the peaceful silence prevalent in the room.
It felt so right yet it felt so wrong. Taeyeon felt like she was safe, safe in the presence of this girl. She had never felt that way before, and it scared her at how fast J opened her up. The anchor weight in her heart disappeared. In it's place was an unexplainable sense of peace and serenity. Ever since her parents died, she swore never to completely open up to anyone. Losing them would be too painful, too painful for her to bear. But with J, it was different. She wanted to open up. She wanted to start again. She wanted to love again.
/Flashback/
"Taengoo ya! Take care of Krystal! I'll be back in a bit!"
Eight year old Kim Taeyeon stood outside the convention hall and observed the people that were passing by. Some guy was quarrelling with a girl. A mother was patting her son on the head. A cellphone was ringing, but the sound faded as it's owner walked past.
"Unni I'm scared there's so many weird people and weird noises and weird smells, Unniiiiiii."
Her six year old sister looked up at her pouting, her eyes glistening.
"It's okay Krystal ah, Unni is here! I'll protect you from all the weird people noises and smells."
Taeyeon grabbed her sister's hand and held on tightly.
"As long as I'm holding your hand everything will be okay!"
/End of flashback/
A hand s underneath the bolster barrier from the right side of the bed, entwining itself with the hand that it found on the other side.
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