Chaper IV
All My Feelings For You|| Taeyeon's Bed 6.09am ||
The blankets shifted as Taeyeon streched. She clawed at her bed aimlessly for her phone. Laying still under the embrace of her warm blanket, she sighed. She wasn't ready to face a new day. The heavy feeling in her heart had somehow subsided, but it was still there.
She checked her cellphone, taking a moment to adjust to the sudden glare. Her eyes widened a little as she read the previous night's message. She wanted to read it again but the message was a singular letter. She couldn't believe her eyes. J?
So J was the one who broke her train of despairing thoughts. Taeyeon made a mental note to thank J when they met in school later. On second thought, she owed J more than just a thank you. She made another mental note to make it up to J somehow. The corners of lifted up, forming a smile she thought she couldn't make that morning.
Maybe today will be a good day.
Taeyeon kicked her blanket to one side and sat up. She yawned as she stretched again and swung her legs off the bed.
Oh my god the message.
She completely forgot about the message she had sent to the blonde haired goddess. Even Bolt couldn't compare to the speed at which Taeyeon had gotten her laptop and punched on the power button. She tapped on the table restlessly as she waited, completely ignoring the fatigue that encroached upon her body.
All the negative feelings were ejected out of her body. Her fatigue, sorrow & loneliness simply vanished in a second. All she did was squeal and jump up and down.
"Annyeong TT-ssi! Thank you for supporting me, I really appreciate it. Your support really motivates me to work harder atm! I won't tire myself out, don't worry ^^ Thank you again! <3"
Taeyeon was sobbing rainbow tears in her heart. All she could do was run around her room in circles, jump on the bed, then continue running around in circles. The blonde hair goddess had replied to her. Personally. With a heart at the end of the message. Her heart was about to explode with all the happy feels that she had. She ran into Sooyoung's room, shaking her friend awake while screaming "SHE REPLIED" over and over again. For that, she had two pillows thrown in her face and a grumpy Sooyoung to deal with for the rest of the day. But it didn't matter, what mattered was that the blonde haired goddess had replied!
Time flies when you're having fun. By the time Taeyeon had calmed down and started breathing like a normal person, it was almost time to head to the University. She brushed her teeth, washed up, ate her breakfast, then headed to her car with time to spare. Indeed, the day was going to be a good one. She just knew it would be.
|| 7.30am Meeting Room Five ||
Adjusting the uncomfortable brown paper bag on her head, Taeyeon sighed. She still couldn't get the message out of her head. Being the forgetful girl that she was, she took a picture of the message.
"Your support really motivates me to work harder atm!"
She grinned so hard her cheeks were about to cramp up. But on a side note, what did atm mean? It means at the moment, doesn't it? Maybe there some other meaning that she was unaware of. Work harder at the moment… It sounded off for some reason.
The door opened and J walked in. The way she smelt of strawberries, the way she walked, the way she looked, it was so criminally perfect Taeyeon forgot about her excitement for a moment and simply gawked at the girl in front of her. Then the same thought occurred to her; How could someone in a brown paper bag look so good?
Taeyeon cleared .
"Thanks for the message yesterday night."
No response. J was maintaining her cold image.
There was a long awkward pause as they waited for their remaining group members to arrive. In actual fact, it wasn't a long awkward pause because J had dozed off again and Taeyeon just didn't notice.
The door swung open again, the husky girl had was clinging to the boy, who was obviously feeling uncomfortable.
"Guess who got the coupon?" the girl boasted.
Apparently, the dubious wrapping with the sandwich on the roof was the coupon. Taeyeon grimaced, mentally scolding herself for missing something so simple.
The husky voiced girl passed out instructions.
/ Mission Games! /
8.00am Breakfast @ the Cafeteria
9.00am Group Bonding
10.00am Interaction!
12.00pm Peek-A-Boo!
Taeyeon wanted to salute the administration office. On second thought, she wanted to throw bricks at them. Orientation seriously was a complete failure. The only person she got to meet was J who hardly said anything…. Well, that's excluding the husky voiced girl and the boy of course. But they didn't really count as friends, did they?
The door swung open again. Their group leader and her pig exited the room without even saying goodbye. It was J and her, again.
"J-ssi! Let's go for breakfast."
No response. Seriously, she wanted to stick to her silence again?
"YA, SAY SOMETHING!"
J jolted out of her chair, obviously shocked. It finally occurred to Taeyeon that the girl had been sleeping, and she just very rudely awakened the sleeping beauty. Lowering her head in embarrassment she swiftly apologised and asked to go for breakfast again.
Even before J could say anything, her stomach growled.
|| 8.05am University Cafeteria ||
"Aren't you eating anything?" Taeyeon mumbled between bites of her ham sandwich which she very glamourously stuffed under her paper bag.
A piece of cucumber fell onto the table.
The entire cafeteria turned to stare at the two girls.
|| 8.15am Roof Top ||
After the piece of cucumber had fallen from Taeyeon's sandwich, J screamed. She screamed so ear-piercingly Taeyeon thought the windows in the cafeteria would shatter. Wanting to hide from the stares that J's outcry had attracted, they retreated to the rooftop.
Still munching on her half eaten sandwich, Taeyeon stared at J in disbelief. J confused her. The girl in front of her was warm yet cold, emotionless yet dramatic. J's concern for her when she fainted was undeniable, yet it was also undeniable that she was cold for the rest of the time. J's emotionless frontage was obvious, yet her over-dramatic reaction over a silly cucumber made Taeyeon think otherwise. What exactly was this girl hiding?
They sat next to each other, leaning against the roof access wall.
Taeyeon took off her paper bag and ran her fingers through her light brown hair. The breeze felt so soothing, and something about the setting of the place made her feel at peace. Comparing her mood to the previous day's, it made her doubt her sanity.
"TAEYEON! KIM TAEYEON!" A voice boomed.
There was no one else on the roof besides J and herself. Taeyeon scanned her surroundings and asked J if she had heard anything, but she shook her head and said no.
Taeyeon shook her head and then swept her hair away from her face. She must've been hearing things.
J pointed to the abandoned paper bag on the floor and signalled for Taeyeon to put it back on.
"You saw me that day at the infirmary didn't you! What's the point then?" Taeyeon stuck her tongue out and tried to pull the paper bag off J.
Wrestling with the skinny girl was harder than Taeyeon thought it would be. Even using her underhanded means of tickling, she still couldn't get the paper bag off the taller girl. She eventually conceded and leaned back against the wall.
She turned to J and smiled.
"My name is Kim Taeyeon, I'm twenty years old." Taeyeon offered her hand in a peace handshake.
"J. Twenty."
Taeyeon sighed internally. This girl seemed like a tough nut to crack. Luckily she felt like she had all the energy in the world thanks to the blonde goddess' message.
"March 9th"
"April 18th"
"Ahhh, respect your elders and listen to me! NOW SPEAK!" Taeyeon stuck out her tongue yet again.
" ….. "
"I'll buy a cucumber."
"What?"
After hearing the threat that Taeyeon made, J became quiet again. No matter how many questions Taeyeon threw at her, she wouldn't respond.
Giving up, Taeyeon resorted to just talking about herself.
"As you know, my name is Kim Taeyeon, I like food, books and daydreaming."
No reply came.
"You know, I used to be like you. Cold, emotionless. I thought nothing in the world was worth my time, nothing was worth engaging and nothing was worth keeping. I thought that since everything was impermanent, why should i even bother?"
Taeyeon paused, then continued.
"From young I've wondered what the meaning of life was, I wondered if life was really worth living and whether things were worth fighting for. I didn't speak to anyone nor did i share my feelings with anyone. I thought the people around me didn't care. But as the years went by, I made some friends that helped me out of my self created abyss. Just maybe, maybe life is worth enjoying? I don't think I'll be able to fully recover from that event, but I think I'll be able to function well enough to live life. Since I opened up, life became much more bearable. With friends that surround and support me, life…. It isn't bad as it once was."
Hugging her knees closer to herself, Taeyeon spoke some more.
"I don't know why I'm sharing this with you, but I have this weird gut feeling that tells me you're not as cold as you portray yourself to be."
"Thank you." J whispered, barely audible.
Taeyeon gazed at the mysterious girl and flashed a dazzling smile.
It was silent on the rooftop after that, but Taeyeon felt that somehow she had gotten through to J.
Sometimes, words aren't necessary to put across the deepest feelings. Sometimes, words are lacking. And sometimes, a single look tells more than what a million words could ever say.
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