Why Won't You Fight?

BTS || † Crossing Boundaries || Story Start



` 난 죽을때까지 느끼고 싶어 . )           
Chapter Twelve




Why Won't You Fight.

  The hospital was cold. That was the first thought in MiKyung's mind as she slowly came to. She could smell the chemicals of the sterile room and knew all to well the familiar beep of her heart monitor. She was in the hospital. In East Seoul. She didn't even want to think about the bill her parents would accrue. 

 "Miss Moon how are you feeling?" A deep voice to her left made MiKyung turn her head towards a middle aged doctor with a slightly balding head and glasses. He seemed nice enough. "Tired. Really tired." The doctor chuckled. "Yes, well, because your cells are dieing and then regenerating at a much more rapid rate becacuse of the cancer, your body is woring overtime to compensate. This is why you get a fever or have been feeling dizzy. How long have you stopped with treatment, Miss Moon?" 

  MiKyung thought for awhile. Two years? Three years? She didn't know how long. But she had to give an answer anyway. "Two years at least." The doctor wrote down some notes on her chart. "And have you thought about undergoing a bonemarrow transplant? I took a look at the tests we ran and we can cure your Leukemia. At least to a point where you can go about your life for more than a year."

  MiKyung looked at the doctor in surprise? A cure? Bonemarrow transplant? She was never told about any of this. "I can't afford it. I honestly can't afford even a minute in this hospital, when can I be released?" The doctor frowned. This was one of the richer districts of Seoul, who couldn't afford anything? "How long do I have left? Without any treatment." The doctor studied the chart one last time, noting her white blood cell count and her blood work results. 

  "It's September so realistically 6-months to a year. If you get the bonemarrow transplant, you could potentially live the rest of your life." MiKyung sighed. She wants to live of course, but she'd already made up her mind long ago because of money. She knew her parents could never afford the treatment and she didn't want her family to burden themselves any longer.

  "Can you do me a favor?" The doctor nodded. "I don't want you to tell them the real reason I fainted. Please as a patient it's my wish that my illness remain confidential. So please tell them I'll be fine." The doctor nodded. He had to lie due to Doctor-Patient confidentiality. If MiKyung didn't want anyone to know then he could not inform them without breaking the law. 

  "Certinly, Miss Moon. However, why don't you think about the transplant some more, hmm?" MiKyung nodded as a courtesy, though she knew nothing would make her change her mind. She would not put that kind of burden on her family. She would pass away peacfully and then her family could finally rest in ease knowing their daughter didn't suffer anymore. 

  Outside her hospital room in the waiting area, 7 girls, 7 boys, and 7 sets of parents filled every seat, some of the boys even standing against the wall. SooRyun and Byul were still crying silently, holding each other while Rap Monster stood off to the corner looking troubled. He never thought she'd be hospitalized.

  When his parents told him to come to the hospital he had no idea what to think. Was someone hurt? Was it serious? And then he found out that it was MiKyung who had collapsed and he all but sprinted to the hospital. She better not die, was the only thought on his mind. She wasn't supposed to die yet.

  Being the first of the boys to arrive, he immediately asked the girls what had happend. Hannah explained that MiKyung had fainted on the steps and was spiking a high fever. Rap Monster grit his teeth. That idiot. He scolded her how many times about making sure he was okay. How many times had he all but dragged her to the nurse?

 That idiot. 

  Once everyone had arrived the doctor came out and informed everyone that she would be fine once she rested and had collapsed due to exhaustion. Everyone was relieved except Rap Monster, though. He knew better. Knew she made the doctor lie to keep her secret. Now he really needed to scold her. 

  "When can we see her?" NamJoon found himself asking before he could stop himself, garnering odd looks from everyone around. "She's resting now so only one visitor. Do you want to see her young man?" NamJoon looked around. He sighed. The other's be damned. He was going to get it through this girl's head that she had to live.

  "Yes. Which room is she in?" The doctor pointed to the last room on the left down the hall. NamJoon bowed curtly and walked quickly towards her room. The other's looked on in amazement, not expecting Rap Monster to care at all. Even the girls were surprised, because from the start the boys had had everything against them. 

  NamJoon didn't think twice about knocking, sliding the door open rather harshly. He quietly stalked into the room, MiKyung gasped in surprise, shooting up quickly in her bed. "What are you doing here?" NamJoon glared. "Idiot. Didn't I tell you to take care of yourself?" MiKyung frowned. "Didn't I tell you to stay out of my life?" NamJoon growled. He'd never met a girl so goddamn irritating.

  "Why did you tell the doctor to lie? Do you think your parents would like it if you died here? You're a fool. The least you can do is stay alive for them." MiKyung held back tears.

  "It would be better off. We wouldn't be in debt anymore and my parents wouldn't have to slave away. You want to know why I stopped trying? Why I've decided to just live out the rest of my days? Because I'm a burden. My parents work themselves ragged just to put food on the table each week. My brother never comes home because he works so hard to help my parents pay for my bills. You will never have to worry about anything. You have money.You have no idea what the West Side is like. How dire our situation truly is. We've been ignored by the East for 50 years. I can't even afford one second in this hospital. I'm not a fool. I'm sick."

  RapMonster was quiet for a moment. No parent would ever think their child a burden. It's their child that they love unconditionally. Rap Monster just knew if her mother knew her daughter gave up treatments because of them she'd be heartbroken. No one wants to die. , even NamJoon would admit he'd be terrified of dieing, especially if he knew beforehand. If he died, he'd want it to be quick and swift.

  "You really think that will make your parents happy? To have their child die? In what world is that logical? Just look at you..." Rap Monster trailed off, truly noticing for the first time how sick she really looked. Her face was pale, her eyes a dark purple from lack of sleep. She was thin, thinner then when she first arrived. Rap Monster thought he could snap her in half just by hugging her.

  He shouldn't have cared. He told himself he didn't, yet why did he try so hard to fight her?

  "Of course not. But what choice do I have? I'm poor, my family is poor, and even if we could afford treatment, it wouldn't make me better. Do you know what chemo does to your body? I lost my hair, I had red splotches all over my skin from the radiation and you throw up for the first couple months. You think it's fun? That I should put my bodythrough hell just to live a few months longer? No, it's not. I don't want my parents to remember my last moments as a bed ridden, bald, shell of a human. I want them to see me, the me before I got sick. Why I stopped treatment? I want to spare them the pain of watching me deteriorate. When I go, it will be in the comforts of my bed, no medication, no tubes, nothing. When I go, it will be in the most painless way possible." 

  NamJoon didn't know what to say. It made sense on one hand, but in his mind none of that mattered. Shouldn't you fight like hell until the end? Rap Monster would do anything in his power to stay alive, to overcome this illness instead of let it consume him. He couldn't understand it.

  "Don't you have things you want to do? A career goal, a life goal, anything?" MiKyung chuckled. "Of course I have things I want to do before I die. I've already crossed one of them off the list thanks to you." Rap Monster remembered the elephant ride. He could see the disappointment on her face when no one wanted to ride it with her. Rap Monster chalked it up to not caring at the time, but curse his loyalty. He felt obligated to help her because he cared that she was sick. 

  "What is the one thing you want most in this world?" MiKyung knew the answer to the question, but she wasn't sure she wanted to disclose it. NamJoon would probably laugh at her. "It's stupid really." NamJoon didn't budge. "I doubt it. Just tell me." He urged her on, trying to get as much information out of her as possible. There had to be a cure out there somewhere and he was going to find it. He's never experienced the death of someone he knew and he didn't want to either. 

  "I want to find true love. I want to love unconditionally and be loved in return. I want to cram all the life firsts into a small time frame. I want to marry and go on a honeymoon to Jeju Island. I want to experience true happiness with the one. But I'm just a fool for thinking its possible. Who would love a sick girl. Better yet, who would want to be with someone whose going to die in less than a year?" MiKyung had to turn her head away to hold back the tears threatening to spill over. 

"Just...I'd like to be alone please. You should go back to the compound. The others are probably worried." Rap Monster frowned. MiKyung really thought that way? What a deplorable girl. Shouldn't she be clinging to life? NamJoon was angry. He didn't know why, either.

  Regardless, he abided by her wishes and left, taking a taxi back to the compound. On the way back all he could think about was his conversation with MiKyung. He sat restless. He wouldn't just let her give up. He wasn't going to let anyone die, not on his watch.

  In the living room both the girls and the boys minus NamJoon and MiKyung were gathered around, discussing the days events. EunSeo and J-Hope found themselves seated together on the love seat, Jungkook sat next to ByulHee and SooRyun who were on the floor, their backs against the couch. Hannah was elated that Jimin sat next to her on the couch followed by V and Suga. HaeRa sat on the arm of the lazy boy while Jin sat in the chair. 

  "Did any of you notice MiKyung not feeling well?" HaeRa asked curiously, feeling bad that she herself didn't pay closer attention to her friend and dongsaeng. "I saw her in the nurses office once but she looked fine at the end of the day so I didn't say anything." Jungkook replied, pursinghis lips together in a thin line. He couldn't believe she just passed out like that. 

  "I hope MiKyung is okay, I was really worried when she collapsed. I mean I was talking to her one minute and the next and I was trying to shake her awake. It was terrifying." EunSeo let out a shutter at the flashback, thinking back to how terrifying the whole experience was. J-Hope had his arm draped over the back of the couch, resting on top of it. He gave her a light pat on the shoulder, letting her know things would be fine. Ever since they bonded over Leggo's in the library, J-Hope had taken an interest in EunSeo. Not romantically or anything like that (yet) but he certainly didn't mind interracting and talking with her.

  They were dare I say it, friends.  




AUTHOR'S NOTE :  So we got to see a little more of MiKyung's thought process and Rap Monsters frustration with her willingness to give up. We also get a little reveal of just how dire things are on the Westside. How neglected they truly are. LET ME JUST SAY I FREAKING ADORE SEOHOPE. I SHIP IT AND I WISH I COULD FIND MORE INSTANCES TO MAKE THEM FIT IN THIS ARC. But hey, it's getting there. I'm growing so fond of my characters, I don't know how I'm ever going to let MiKyung go. Anyway, please let me know your thoughts! I enjoy reading the feedback greatly, it keeps me motivated to keep writing this story. 



credits to fallen angel



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BTS: Crossing Boundaries: Chapter 13 HAS BEEN UPLOADED! :)


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Chapter 27: lmao I feel ty for being the one to say I miss this and then be delayed this long in concerns to commenting on the updated chapter. ;;
BUT- yes, even if I end up taking an indefinite hiatus, this would for sure be one of the stories that I would periodically check back in on.

I love how you open it with a statement about how hard the girls have been working with their academics- and then lead immediately into cutie-pie Byulhee literally folding a paper airplane and sending it flying to the proverbial sleeping dragon Minhi. LOL. Regardless though, seeing the camaraderie that's been built between all the girls is heartwarming to be sure!
But oh man, Byulhee does seem the perfect target considering her innocence in comparison to the rest of the girls- probably the only other viable option would have been Hannah, considering her plotline was literally called the "innocent touch".
[[Cause seriously, Eunseo (though surprised) would probably be the one to traumatize the flasher by just scornfully (and loudly) laughing at his *ahem* assets, Minhi would probably sooner beat the guy up for even trying, and the other girls- even if surprised, would probably snap out of it to either call the cops or one of the boys instead of freezing up like poor little Byul. ]]

It's hilarious how Jungkook fully acknowledges that he's been attempting to delude himself when it comes to a certain little klutz- & even more hilarious how he throws Jin under the bus in comparison. LMAO.

Byulhee is so cute LOL. Literally just pouting up at Kookie after he flicks her forehead. I'm glad to see some progression with our resident maknae couple here- and as for your inspiration for this scene, I just remembered a scene from the movie "Secretly Greatly". Where the main guy is trying to disguise himself using only random things- but the townspeople see him in literally a bra and leopard print granny shorts and accuse him of being a flasher/kidnapper. LOL.
Man, I kind of low-key follow your other stories too, but after seeing BTS's new comeback MV, it reminded me of this story that got me into your writing in the first place. I miss this one sometimes~ </3
I was wondering what was up since I hadn't seen an update for this & To Catch a Demon was in early January.

Haera and ChANGJO. YES. I SHIP IT. I love how both Jin and Changjo went out of their way to do something for her, though it shows that Changjo approached this a bit more intelligently in tutoring and reassuring her of her capabilities instead of just pretty much handing her a slightly more personalized textbook. (You still did good Jin, but Changjo did better LMAO-)
I'm waiting & looking forward for Jin and her relationship to blossom tbh

Hannah is so cute though. Her logic of maybe just liking every cute boy b/c of her age had me laughing. But whoa Jimin. You literally got no jams right now concerning the situation handling of the game and Niel. Being aggressive to a boy she's expressing friendliness to is not very likely to get you in her good graces. xD

Yoongi's persistence is slowly wearing Minhi down it looks like. It's pretty hilarious how he seems to always show up the moment she decides that she wants to break some rules. His stickler for the rules ways is certainly remaining at odds with Minhi but he's got the right idea. Toss away those gross cigs, they aren't healthy or make you look cool contrary to popular belief.

NAMJOON PLS. Jfc his mother hen antics towards Mikyung are cavity inducing. ; u ;
This ship sails itself. I don't even think more needs to be said with these two. Seriously Namjoon literally hand feeding her out behind/under a big tree from a personal bento- this is seriously some Nicholas Sparks content right here.
Come on you two you make each other's kokoros go doki doki just become a couple already-- !!

more coming in part two cause screw AFF's character limits. >C
tbh i'm shipping em more at this point
i just have a huge thing for nice guys LMAOO

wowowowow hannah
girl, you should make up your mind
tho i'd probs blush at every good looking guy too XD
seriously i can't see jimin being aggressive tho

yooo suga you did good
throw that pack of cigs away!!!
its hilarious tho LMAO
how creepy suga sounds rn xD

ahhhhhhhhhhh rapmon and mikyung
i ship this so so so much
esp caring rapmon
LMAO why so assertive tho dang
even tho it was for the best of mikyung

this si so fricking cute
i love it
that quiet jhope is slowly going away
and he's becoming more like the him that i can actually imagine haha

woohoooooo the comments finally here and done haha
really sorryy for the late comment
and that you feel so frustrated with the lack of feedback

you gave this story a lot of effort and wrote way more than most applyfic authors can ever
so major props to you!
i'll try to comment as soon as you upload a chapter the next time :)

and if you really really feel that frustrated by the chosen applicants not commenting for so long
you can give them a warning, saying you'll swap out charas or something idk
Chapter 25: ok so i actually read the chapter like a few days ago
but i didn't know hot to comment
cause everything was so sad
and just...
i knew west side was bad
i didn't think it was going to be that bad

i feel so bad for mikyung
how she's giving up on treatment cause she thinks she's being a burden
i'd feel the same as her but rapmon has a point when he says no parent feels their child is a burden
if only that was the cold hard truth tho
there was a man who has been on life support his whole life
and he heard his mom telling him to just go die because she was tired of taking care of him..
real life story. smfh
but he made it out alive and it living like a normal person now tho

(pretty sure he's gunna)
just curious on how he's going to do that?
rapmon is actually such a good natured guy
despite his initial attitude towards the west siders

besides the lego thing of course
ahh i love it so much

i love this story so much
i love the progress so far
and just, ugh
lemme love you for being so awesome <3
Chapter 25: That feeling of knowing that you can't afford something but is stuck there due to circumstances is something I'm familiar with.
Mikyung's mentality, while I can see where she's coming from, is heartbreaking. Sure, having people know and pitying her would probably not be something she would be ecstatic over, but it's. something kind of inevitable now? Like when they all do eventually find out it's going to happen. I almost think it'd be more of a blessing to allow the ones around you time to steel themselves for what's to come, though to be fair the groups are all still growing close to each other so I guess it can't be helped for now. It's ultimately up to her in the end.

Namjoon though. Oh boy, I was amused when he jumped at the opportunity to be the one visitor for her when the doctor came out to report on her condition to the collective group. His ensuing conversation with Mikyung was enlightening as well. It really is like they come from two completely separate worlds. Her trying to avoid being a burden- both emotional and financial, and him being incredulous over how seemingly willing she is to just not even fight for her right/chance to live.

and there it is though. The one thing she wants most before she dies. I would cite the movie "a walk to remember" in reference to her believing that there is no chance for someone with.... a permanent expiration date to have someone be willing to love and marry them. That last line from Namjoon's perspective sounds very promising- though saddening. Since, well- I think we all know how Mikyung's story is ultimately going to end. ; ;

Even if it took something like this, it is good to see the groups coming together now. And on an off note, I love how this mutual understanding/relationship with SeoHope was spawned from a Lego set. LOL.
This was a really fast update! Thank you for spoiling us with it, and I'll be eagerly waiting to see how more of Mikyung, Haera, and Hannah's respective arcs unfold. c:
Chapter 24: I had just glanced at/ reread this about a week ago, so it's a great surprise to see you've updated it as well!
I have faith in your plans for this story, & think your decision to break the story into individual character driven arcs is a smart choice rather than attempting to mash everyones' shining moments and developments together at once.

I will admit from a purely kpop music bias standpoint I was conflicted on the two performances because I lOVE Gain's Paradise Lost (Which was a great choice for classically trained Sooryun btw) but at the same time, Crazy was my JAM for months. Regardless of Sooryun not winning, I think this was a defining moment for her, & I'm sitting here grinning on her behalf because she's finally retaken the stage after her past injury.
V's reaction though like- PLEASE. Falling out of his chair and your little "...all the blood rushed to his head (if you know what I mean)"
I literally snorted while I was eating my dinner and reading this.

Suji is still so salty after the results are announced omfg. Like girl obtain some chill please.
All this hype is going to be probably following the new girls around now, so Suji and posse better start getting used to it.
Hannah and Byulhee though- girls get it! Minhi be rubbing off on the young ones. LOL.

Oh gosh I've seen the hints leading up to this point with her weakening and constantly pushing herself for the competition, but now that she's actually collapsed in front of the other girls, I guess it's time the rest of the girls find out... and why do I feel like the boys are going to be getting home shortly to witness this all as well? OTL;; I'm super excited to see how Mikyung's arc is going to unfold tbh and am anticipating getting to see more of her interactions with Namjoon.

Thanks for the update, and like I said earlier, I have faith in your plans for this story!
props too for regularly updating this and To Catch a Demon too. Like dang man.
Chapter 24: I trust you and your plans for all of the girls tbh
the story has been awesome so far
and mad props to you for being able to update so many chapters
like thats fricking amazing

its kinda like a lil plot twist
and her covering paradise lost was just fricking amazing LMAO
she got mad balls even tho she's usually so shy and stuff
his reaction is ing priceless, he fell out of his seat LMAO i dead
surprised suga was rooting for sooryun tbh

BRUH You seriously know how to set up the stories
esp how the girls will react to finding out bout the cancer
and how rapmon gunna get more involved with mikyung
Yanethy123 #9
Chapter 23: Continua con la historia, esta interesante.!! *0*