Note: I got most of the information in this story from original interviews. Therefore most of the things Jonghyun says are based on reality. ^^

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‘’Jonghwa-ssi, are you ready?’’ I heard a lady ask from outside my dressing room.

‘’Ne,’’ I answered while I got up to leave the  room. Today was an important day. I was invited as a guest for a variety show. The fact that they had only asked me, not even Yonghwa, surprised me. I considered it a great compliment. But without my band members I was always three times more nervous. The fact that the show was broadcasted live didn’t make it easier either. Despite that, I walked towards the stage confidently and was greeted by great enthusiasm from the audience, which gave me a boost of course.

‘’Jonghyun-ssi!’’ the host of the show exclaimed, ‘’welcome!’’ I bowed at him and the audience before taking a seat. ‘’First of all: thank you very much for joining the show. How have you been these days? Your drama just ended, so you must have more time on your hands now, right?’’

‘’Ne, that’s correct. It gave me some time to hang out with my band members again.’’

‘’Ah, time with your band members, that is wonderful! Minhyuk and Jongshin are busy with dramas right now though, is it hard to meet up because of that?’’

‘’Yes, during these times we only see each other 2 or 3 times a week, when normally we would see each other every day. That’s why I’m really happy to be able to spend some more time with them, even though the younger ones are still busy.’’

‘’How about Yonghwa-ssi? Is he done now that his brothers have all entered the acting world?’’ the mc asked with a grin, knowing very well that what he stated was not true of course.

‘’No, no. He is busy supporting us now that he has some time to rest. Now and then he would send us messages like ‘’hyung is alone…’’ or ‘’it’s lonely in the dorm…’’ because in the past we would be the ones at home waiting for Yonghwa to come home, but now it’s the opposite. Despite that I am convinced that he is the person most proud of us, since we have all kind of walked in his footsteps.''

‘’Ah, the younger brothers waited for hyung to come home?’’

‘’Well, I would. Yonghwa always told us to go to sleep and not wait for him, but I always did. And sometimes, when he had finally arrived home very late at night, he would compose songs first before going to bed, just when I thought I could ‘’finally’’ go to bed. Hearing him compose songs after coming home very late at night and being very tired, I couldn't sleep and thought about how I should work harder like hyung.''

‘’That is a very touching story, Jonghyun-ssi. You clearly care about him. You know, I actually met Yonghwa-ssi two years ago, when he was very busy promoting CNBlue by doing variety shows and dramas. You - and the same for Jongshin-ssi and Minhyuk-ssi -, must feel really happy having a hyung like him?’’

‘’Most definitely. Yonghwa is a hyung who is full of spirit. Even though the work he’s doing is really hard, he will never express it to us. He is the one that played the biggest role in promoting CNBlue and gaining attention for our band. Especially during the start of our career in Korea, he would come home very tired, like I expressed earlier. I always felt guilty for that, so I’m really happy that I can help promote CNBlue now by acting in dramas or being on this show for example. I feel strong at the thought of having such a strong hyung,’’ I concluded with a proud smile.

‘’Wow, Jonghyun-ssi ~ did Yonghwa-ssi threaten you? Or did he pay you to say such nice words?’’ he grinned, causing us all to burst out in laughter.

‘’Aniyooo ~ like you said earlier, I just really care about Yonghwa hyung. My personality is blunt and therefore I don’t express my feelings well, but in my heart he’s always there. Yonghwa hyung, thank you.’’ The audience applauded me on my words, leading to a blush on my face.

‘’That is beautiful, Jonghyun-ssi. How about your younger brothers? Do you have the same kind words about them as well?’’

‘’Yes, of course. My two younger brothers Jongshin and Minhyuk are the same. They are a treasure to me and what we have cannot be changed. I’m very glad we met.’’

‘’The four of you have been together for a very long time, is that correct?’’

‘’That is correct. Before we debuted we lived together in Japan, doing street performances. Since we lived together, away from our parents, our family, we had to rely on each other. Therefore we had no choice but to become friends. Luckily, our personalities fit together perfectly and we have never had big arguments. I think our strength is that we never lose sight of our ultimate goal: becoming the best band we think we can become.’’

We went on like this for another fifteen minutes, discussing overseas bands, upcoming Korean bands, the Korean Wave and my high school experience. When the show was done I felt proud and happy, being able to help promote our band.

* *

Later that night I received a text message from Yonghwa.

I watched the show.

Thank you.

Thank you for being you and thank you for being alive.

I love you.