Day 4, September 10, 2010.

     “Seojin-ah, today’s a boring day. I only watched you for a while and you still didn’t move a muscle. So I read all those letters I gave you in the past, and I mentally giggled of my own words. I’m too sweet right? Kkk.”

**

     Rose day. Before, Chanyeol would give a rose to each girl she likes. But now, a bouquet of roses is enough for only one person. Red roses. Symbol of his love for Seojin.

     Undying love.

     Chanyeol waited for her at the school garden. They will meet there at 4pm. It’s still ten minutes before four, but he was already there, excited to give her the flowers, with a letter inside. It may not be the first letter he gave, but it was the first letter since they started dating.

     Finally it’s 4pm. Chanyeol straighten his polo and cleared his throat as he sighted Seojin approaching him. And as usual that familiar and precious smile of hers made her shine the most among the other people in the place.

     “Chanyeol. Sorry if I’m late.” Seojin looked so exhausted but she was still on her brightest smile, that Chanyeol didn’t notice she was pale. “No. No, kinchana.” He replied and heaved a really deep sigh, before reaching the bouquet of roses to her. “For you.”

     Seojin was hesitating on accepting those. Something was bothering her, far more important than this love Chanyeol has for her.

     “S---Saranghae, Kim Seojin-sshi.” Chanyeol finally had the guts to say those words. He was too excited; Seojin didn’t grasped for the bouquet yet, and now he added another thing.

     Finally, after three months of dating, he said the magic words for the first time.

     Though it’s not really necessary to tell her, his actions were enough for her to feel.

     But Seojin remained speechless, her eyes fixed on him. He knew it. He knew this reaction of hers. It was the same reaction when he told her she likes her. Does this mean her answer to his next question is… YES?

     He kept on smiling, but Seojin’s expression was unexplainable. Thoughts keep on coming into her mind, bothering her so much. During those three months, she learned to feel the same way towards Park Chanyeol. As sad as it may seems, SOMETHING prevents her to let Chanyeol know what she feels. She must hide it. She must not tell it or confess or say it to him. Dating him was already enough. Further than that, no more. She should stop there and only there. Dating someone is already forbidden for her in the first place. If she’ll hit more below the belt, then she’ll end up hurting herself and Chanyeol.

*Flashback*

     Seojin went home feeling tired, but satisfied with how the day went. She spent her Saturday night with Chanyeol. Hell week was done, so a good time with someone might be a consideration and a reward for a student like her. Her mom was at the living room, waiting for her. She was a bit angry because of it.

     “I told you not to go home this late.”

     “Eomma.” She was a bit taken aback. She didn’t expect her to be there. “Sorry. I was just… 20 minutes late.”

     “What did I tell you?” she knew her mother meant the other thing.

     “But Mom, it’s just a date.”

     “Seojin-ah..” the older woman rubbed her temples and heavily sighed. “You should stop this.”

     “But eomma.” Seojin objected. Here they go again, she thought. “I have this sickness but it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do what normal girls would.”

     “But you’ll end up hurting yourself.”

    “I know eomma. How many times do you have to tell me that.” This time, Seojin, for the first time, talked back at her Mom. Her voice was still quite tender, but her angry tone was obvious. She wanted to shout more but she’s afraid it will create pain to her chest. “I’d rather choose to be hurt at the end of everyday than staying in the house doing absolutely nothing and thinking that I’m suffering from something and regret why I became alive.” She said, then glanced at her mother. “I’m sorry Mom.. for shouting.. at you.” With that, she didn’t wait for her Mom’s reply and headed to her bedroom.

     She’s frustrated thinking how her mother became overprotective towards her when she reached high school. She’s already matured, and can decide what’s wrong and right for her.

*End of Flashback*

     Seojin’s eyes were filled with sadness as she was looking at the roses. This is just so sweet that she’s confused of what she will do when in fact she knew what she SHOULD do.

     Chanyeol, on the other hand, felt his heart being squeezed in excitement. His body was shivering, his mind going blank. What he uttered earlier was accidental; a result of his excitement again. But he already said it and there’s no turning back. All he could do now is wait for her reply, although he knew it would be just ‘thank you’. But Chanyeol wanted for another response.

     But it was minutes later and they were still in that same position. Seojin didn’t even took the bouquet from his hands yet.

     “T—Thank you.” She said, finally after 52 years of waiting.

     Just thank you.

     Thought hurting, Chanyeol beamed and looked at Seojin who is now staring at the bouquet she just received. For the first time, she received a bouquet of roses. For the first time, she heard the words ‘I love you’ which were meant for her. For sure a lot of girls whom Chanyeol have liked before are perhaps regretting now.

     But what Seojin thought the most was the ‘I love you’ part. Could she just.. skip that part and acted like she didn’t hear it? It was obvious and audible for her to deny. But on the contrary, he just said ‘I love you’. No ‘Do you love me too?’ or ‘Would you be my girlfriend?’ or whatsoever. So maybe, just maybe, she doesn’t need to think of an answer, just ‘thank you’ and it would be enough.

     “C----“

     “I’ve got to go now.”

     Her reply was enough for him not to continue what he wanted to say anymore. He has been following her around since then, and he has no idea of what will she do today. Maybe some family matters, or things that do not involve school.

     “Oh.. Okay. Perhaps I could just accompany you to the school gate.. into the bus stop…”

     His confession was in the wrong timing. Screw it.

     But he knew Seojin wasn’t as insensitive. He knew she knew it; she just couldn’t give a proper response that’s why she didn’t speak or act like he said it.

**

     Chanyeol was done reading those sweet love letters. It didn’t sound really creepy; although some of it. He immediately closed the box where all of his letters were put. Only his letters were there. She treasured that so much, he thought.

     He must admit he had been inside Seojin’s room for a lot of times already; but this time, he’s alone. He felt so lonely and he doesn’t like to stay there for a long time. But because of the letters, he stayed there for an hour, reading some of those. He remembered how he became so deeply in love with her.  Until now he still felt the same way.

     Not long after he noticed the jar of paper cranes on top of the thick books on the shelf.

     Paper cranes. He didn’t expect she made a lot of those.

*Flashback*

     "Can you teach me how to make those?" she humbly requested when Chanyeol showed her some colorful paper cranes he made for his art class.

     Chanyeol immediately nodded. Of course, he would just love to. Even if she wouldn't ask him, he'd still teach him. Plus the excitement and amazed expression of Seojin was enough for Chanyeol to make him conclude she's interested with paper cranes.

     Seojin took out a red paper from her bag. She gave one to Chanyeol, which is a blue paper.

     “First you fold this.. and that.. then you have to form this into a triangular shape..”

     It took ten full minutes to finish one, along with teaching her. Together they created two paper cranes.

     “I like it..” she said in awe. “Thank you.”

     The words of appreciation were so incredible for him. His heart beat the fastest (his heart was already beating faster earlier) after that Chanyeol couldn’t fully comprehend how can Seojin give that kind of feeling to him. But anyways, he liked that feeling. He wants to feel it always. He wants to feel it forever in his life. He wants the feeling of loving Seojin and being appreciated by her in return. But he wanted the feeling of being loved by Seojin more.

     “Can I … keep this?”

     “Sure.”

*End of Flashback*

     And that explains the blue and red paper cranes glued on the lateral surface of the container. Inside were black cranes, real black, no other color.

     His heart went to beat in excitement. He didn’t know where the feeling came from, perhaps the setting and what’s in there gave him. The sweet scent, the pictures, the letters, the jar with paper cranes, everything inside. It makes him feel sentimental.

     When will Seojin wake up?

     I hope it will be sooner.