I spent the whole night worrying over Chanyeol. The unforeseen news flung him in a state of dysfunction. I never left his side, carefully counting the bottles of liquor piling on the table. He was unstoppable and it hurt me to see how he handled his grief. The flickering lights of neon in the club threatened to set me in a hallucination and if not for my apprehension for my best friend beside me, I might have given in to the trance.  

 

“Baek,” he said, resting his head on my shoulder. His breath was hot on my skin and it stank of alcohol. He suddenly slipped his arm around my waist. I tensed on the gesture carefully avoiding the lips that were almost on my face. Kai and the rest of the basketball team were nowhere in sight and, right at that moment, I found the urge to tilt his chin and move his lips next to mine. I looked at him and his face was flushed, eyes red and mouth slightly hung open. I gulped.

 

“Y-yeol, I think we should go,” I said, while he nuzzled his face on my neck. He answered me with a low grunt that quivered on the skin of my neck. I swear I wanted to slap my face hard because I just might have let a small moan escape my lips.

 

“Where?” He groaned.

 

“Home.” The word escaped from my mouth like fragile glass. I watched him cautiously expecting him to snap.  At least that would get his wits back together. And there it was! He looked stunned from the comment. He slowly removed his arms from the embrace and adjusted himself on the seat. He took another bottle from the table and drank all the liquid. I made it sure I wasn’t going to lose him in another round of drinks so I continued talking.

 

“Yeol I have to bring you home.”

 

“I can’t wait.” He replied, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

 

“But Yeol, I bet they’re worr-”

 

“Worried? No they’re not! They left me to grow up on my own. They don’t care for me at all.”

 

I couldn’t argue with that. His ability to reason was dulled by the alcohol and it was meaningless to go into his head right now. “Okay then. Let’s go somewhere you want. Just.. Please let’s go.” I held his arm but he removed it right away and for a moment I thought he’d let me leave on my own. He took a sip from the bottle and pounded it on the table.

 

“Okay let’s go.” He finally said taking me by his right hand and my bouquet on the other. I wasn’t so sure if the sigh that followed was from the relief that we were finally leaving the congested place or from my heartbeat’s sudden skipping.

 

I followed him through the crowd as we looked for the entrance. We didn’t bother looking for Kai and the others, not that they mattered at that moment. Our bill was on the house because of our performance and that includes the basketball team’s. The organizer was very pleased with the show and for Chanyeol’s impromptu guitarist act. They might be somewhere probably drinking their fills. Kai might even be on the dance floor flirting. I rolled my eyes at the thought. When we found the door, I welcomed the wind that met my face into my burning lungs. Batista the bouncer gave us a little salute as we turn in one corner heading for the bus stop.

 

The clock on the nearby lamppost said it was already past one in the morning. Most of the shops on the sidewalk had their lights out creating an eerie ghost town feeling. The air was cold and the alcohol in my system was slowly dissipating. We walked – or rather – Chanyeol dragged me along into alleys and streets unfamiliar to me. I looked at him and he seemed so sure where we were going. But then again, he was drunk. I wasn’t even sure if he’ll remember anything the next day.

 

“Yeol, where are we going?” No answer.

 

“Yeol?” I asked once more.  Still he kept his gait. I removed my hand from his firm grasp. That’s when he stopped. He looked back at me frowning, his eyes questioning.

 

“Where. Are. We. Going.” I said, taking a step back. He then took a step towards me.

 

“Answer me or I’ll run.” My heart was beating fast because I wasn’t even sure if I could outrun him with these short legs of mine. And at the same time, we were in a dark corner of the street and he looked flushed with the alcohol and I swear, Jesus Christ! I don’t know if it’s because of the alcohol that was still in me but I wanted him to pin me on the sidewalk and taste his lips. The school girl inside me screamed in agony of the wait.

 

“Yeol-”

 

“Run and I’ll catch you and carry you in my arms.” I blushed. My insides cartwheeled in delight. He continued talking.

 

“There’s a park nearby. We could spend the rest of the night there.” He said, extending his arms to me. I looked at him frowning.

 

“What?” He crunched his forehead. “I’ve been here before. You don’t trust your best friend?”

 

“My best friend is drunk.”

 

“So you don’t trust your drunk best friend?” he teased. “Come on Baek, I’m not that drunk. I’m still good. Just take my hand.” He continued as he took my hand and wrapped my fingers around his. “There,” he said, smiling. For a while, I forgot about what happened that night and focused on his warm hands and the hypnotizing sound of our footsteps on the concrete. Still, the thought of him carrying me in his arms never left my mind and I decided to give it a go later if my schoolgirl alter ego takes over.

 

 

 

 

We continued walking until we arrived in the park. It was dark and quiet and, most of all, it was freezing. Glad I took Chanyeol’s instructions of bringing a scarf. I traveled my gaze around and saw that there were still few people in the place even at this hour. To our right was a homeless man sleeping on the bench. But I wasn’t sure since he was holding a bottle of liquor, maybe some brokenhearted man. Not far away was a man jogging with a dog in tow. By the fountain sat a couple, smooching. I tried to push my dirty thought away. We chose to sit under a tree behind a convenience store. So that if anything happens, we got a shelter to run to. 

 

“Are you cold?” he asked, lying down, resting his head on the tree’s roots. He took the glasses off his face. I shook my head. “No. Are you?” I managed to sit down on the grass beside him and lean on the tree’s trunk. He smiled. The nearby lamppost illuminated his face in a soft yellow glow making my stomach churn. I looked away automatically.

 

“So… what’s the plan?” I asked, biting my lip. We both fell silent. The wind howled almost in accordance with the mood. Sometimes I wonder if I really have a talent of ruining beautiful moments. I decided to stretch my legs and cross my arms to conserve my warmth. That’s when he answered.

 

“I don’t know. I think I’ll just avoid them for now.” He gazed up to the tree. “I’m sorry for taking you here. You just came from a sickness and now you’re huddling for heat in the wee hours of the night in an unfamiliar park. Plus I’m a bit drunk. I’m a bad best friend.” He said pouting.

 

“Now don’t you shift topics with me Park Chanyeol,” I said asserting myself by pinching his left ear. He yelped. “You can’t avoid them – us, including me – forever, you know.” I felt him surrender his walls. “You have to go home later.” He sat down and looked me straight in the eye.

 

“Come with me.”

 

“WHAT?”

 

“Come with me later when I meet mom and dad.” He said holding my hand. Lots of holding hands lately I noticed. I mulled over Chanyeol’s suggestion. If that could bring him home then…

 

“Okay. I’ll come with you.”

 

“Thank you, Baek. You’re the bestest friend I could have.” You’re the boyfriend I could never have, I told myself. Instead of saying that, I smiled at him. He then went to resting his head on my lap, eyes closed and smiling. He looked so contented that I ended up giving in to his sudden gesture. I held his head and started playing with his hair. He gave me a wider grin.

 

“You look better than earlier.” I said.

 

“How’d I look?” he answered, eyes closed.

 

“Like .” with sophisticated specs, dazzling eyes, and rosy lips. He laughed.

 

“Was I worse the last time? That night when I… I told you I love you.” I flinched.

 

“You don’t remember at all?”

 

“No. Tell me what happened.”

 

I sighed. “Let’s see. You remember us drinking in your room, right?”

 

“Yes. Grandma was in a reunion. We were watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and you were disgusted that they lived in the sewers.” We both laughed.

 

“After a few shots, I went to make more popcorn and when I came back you finished one bottle.”

 

“Oh really? I don’t remember that anymore.”

 

“You looked like an idiot. I swear you had a bigger grin than those toothpaste commercial models.” He chuckled a bit as I continued caressing his hair.

 

“After that, you literally flopped yourself on the bed and started snoring. I wasn’t sleepy yet so I watched another movie. It was around 3am I think when sleep got the best of me and I cuddled up beside you.”

 

“Hehe I like the sound of that.” He said suddenly making my cheeks flame up. I punched his chest. “Ouch! Okay I won’t comment anymore.” I cleared my throat before continuing and waited until all the red on my cheeks disappeared,

 

“So that’s how it was supposed to end until you spooned me from behind and then you whispered in my ear.” I breathed deeply hoping he won’t react in a way I end up looking like a ripe tomato.

 

“Tell me exactly what I said.” He opened his eyes and looked at me intently.

 

Byun Baekhyun, I’m gonna say this once so listen carefully. I love you with all my heart and soul and I’m willing to shield you from bullets if I had to but I hope we won’t come to that. I love you like how my fingers fill each other’s spaces – you complete me. You’re the part of me that I lost when I was born to this world and now I found you, I’m not willing to let go. Stay with me in this bed tonight and tomorrow, forever if fate wills it. I say I love you but that doesn’t make up for the feelings I really have inside for you.

 

“It was just a simple ‘I love you’ and then you dozed off.” I said smudging the etched words in my head but they won’t go away. He groaned.

 

“I thought I was a romantic.” I wasn’t able to suppress my laugh. He joined in.

 

“Now it’s your turn to tell a story.” I said even though I was already expecting that one story. “Tell me about, Dara.” The face he gave me amused me although my heart was already reeling for the ache that would come later.

 

“How’d you know her?”

 

“I think I met her back in woodshop class, who wouldn’t miss that face?” I made sure I put the right stress on that last word.

 

“Shut up, Baek. She’s a junior how’d you have classes with her.” He said, squinting his eyes.

 

“Okaaaay. I asked Luhan to find her. You know that guy has connections everywhere.” Speaking of Luhan, I wonder if he really went to the bar earlier. I shoved the thought at the back of my mind and concentrated on Chanyeol. He was smiling. Why the hell was he smiling?

 

“You’re jealous.” He said, rubbing my chin with his fingers, I struck his hand away. “Yes I am.” I felt good as I looked at his dumbfounded face. His hand fell on the hollow between my legs while his mouth hung open.

 

“Are you serious, Baek?” he asked. I can’t seem to decide what emotion he was revealing. I assumed a simple confusion or a flash of disgust but I could see a hint of delight that skipped in his eyes. I stopped running my fingers through his hair.

 

“Duh. Now you’re going to choose who you’ll be with and of course you’ll choose her, idiot.” I said pinching his nose. His eyelids fluttered a bit but his lips remained still.

 

“You think I’m going to forget you because of her?”

 

I shrugged nonchalantly but my heart was aching. “Perhaps.”

 

“You’re so stupid to believe it’s going to happen.” He said closing his eyes and putting his hands beneath his head. My heart almost fell to my stomach.

 

“I won’t forget you, Baek. That’s a promise.” That’s when he smiled and right at that moment I believed everything was going to be alright. After sending a quick message to mom and Kai to let them know we’re okay, I closed my eyes and dreamt of us.

 

 

 

 

 

I awakened to see a hand holding mine. It was Chanyeol and he was curled up into a fetal position on the grass, forcing himself towards me for warmth. It wasn’t the hand that woke me but the chilly morning breeze. The sun was just peeking through the horizon, the first rays of gold caressing my face with warmth. It was refreshing, feeling the cold air fill my lungs, the warm rays of the sun on my face, and Chanyeol’s fingers around mine. I looked at him and he seemed perfectly at ease. I smiled and brushed his bangs from his eyes.

               

His phone suddenly rang from his pocket and woke him up almost immediately. His eyes flew open and, in a flash, he removed his hand from mine. He grudgingly sat up fishing for his phone. I took the chance to fix myself and wipe away the imaginary drool that seemed to glue itself on my face. When I looked at him, his eyes were fixated on his ringing phone.

               

“Answer it, Yeol.” I said.

               

“It’s them.” He answered almost a whisper. The ringing stopped when he tapped on the screen. I stood up and extended my hand to him.

               

“Then it’s time to go.” He looked at my hand for a moment and then he let himself give in to a smile. He took it and I tried to pull him up but to no avail. He laughed at my helplessness. I pushed him on the grass and threw my scarf on his face. “You need to buff up, Baek,” he said pulling his own up by himself. I rolled my eyes.

 

We helped ourselves to a cup of coffee in the convenience store before heading for the bus stop. The establishments were just starting to open for the day. The smell of freshly baked bread was in the air as we were walking and the smell of flowers in the nearby flower shop mixed with it, creating a bursting morning aroma that drowned my nose. It was almost embarrassing for my bouquet of daffodils. Chanyeol seemed to read the moment because he suddenly stopped in front of the shop and asked.

 

“Do you want to change those?” he said pointing at my daffodils.

 

“It’s fine. Besides it’s the one you gave me. The meaning would be lost if you buy another set.”

 

“But it smells of yesterday. And it looks tired and a bit withered. You sure it’s okay?”

 

I smiled. “Yours is enough, Yeol.” I said and continued walking. You are enough, Yeol. I wanted to say, but the fear of him avoiding me was as hard as holding the words back. If I had to live a thousand years to be with him as his best friend, I would gladly oblige even if it meant holding back the feelings I had for him. I busied myself with checking the displays of the shops and a small puppy happily wagging its tail at me when I noticed Chanyeol wasn’t beside me anymore. When I looked back to where I came from, I saw him holding another set of flowers.  

 

“Hyacinths. This is for getting you all in this trouble. And I’m really sorry.”

 

“But I told you your bouquet is enou-”

 

Let’s just put these with them, then.” He said and then started placing the blossoms with my daffodils. “See? They look good together. They look even better together than when they were apart.” I must give it to Chanyeol; he’s good with picking the right flowers and the right metaphors. I couldn’t help but smile at his innocence.

 

 

 

 

 

We decided to go straight to their house while on the bus. He was reluctant at first but when I told him I would be there with him, he immediately obliged.

 

“The only thing that bothers me now is that we stink,” he said sniffing his pits. I roared in laughter.

 

The trip was a bit faster this morning than last night. I took the chance to check my phone if anyone bothered to text me or call. I looked at the screen: Five messages, a bunch of missed calls.

 

 

Kai

Mom

Kai

Kai

Luhan

 

 

I checked mom’s mail first. She said she was home and asked me to be careful on the road. I texted her to assure her I was fine and we were on our way to Chanyeol’s house. I also told her Chanyeol’s with me so she need not worry. Kai’s were drunk texts about this certain girl he met in the club. The last one was also his, only that he was now complaining because the girl won’t leave her alone. Serves you right. Ha! And then there was Luhan’s.

 

hey sorry I wasn’t able to come last night. Something happened to Sehunnie I had to take him to my house. I’ll tell you soon promise!

 

His message sent me into a wave of worry. What could have happened to the two? It looks a bit serious because he divulged as few information as possible. I sent him a take care message before shoving my phone back to my pocket. But the thought remained.

 

We arrived at our stop and started walking to their house. It was on the other side of the highway away from my neighborhood but I had the urge to turn back and at least get a fresh set of clothes. I felt like a homeless man aimlessly walking in days old clothes. And my skin was sticky. Chanyeol too looked a little uneasy while walking but I can’t seem to find the source of it since he looked just as gorgeous as last night when I found him on my porch with a bouquet in hand. I smiled at the memory.

 

It was already eight in the morning by the time we reached their house. Two unknown cars were parked on the street. Must be his parents’, I said to myself. We were almost at the porch ready to unlock the door when he tugged me by the sleeves.

 

“Come,” he said dragging me towards the back of their house.

 

“Let’s climb to my room.” Chanyeol whispered pointing at the big old tree in their backyard. The veins on my neck instantly constricted.

 

“ARE YOU STILL DRUNK OR WHAT?”

 

“Do you want to take a shower first or not?” one of his brows lifted in mockery. I sighed and then helped myself up the wrinkled bark of the tree while his hands clung to my waist. I wasn’t so sure what to concentrate on anymore because his hands were where it shouldn’t be. I shook the thought away and carefully climbed the tree with Chanyeol trailing behind me.

 

“I’ll catch you if you fall. I promise.” He said in a loud whisper, afraid the adults in the house hear him. I almost slipped on some stupid vine. Why should he say it now while we’re up on this ing tree? I grumbled to myself as I slowly crawled on the big branch that ended at his bedroom window. I looked back at him and he gave me a reassuring nod.

 

“When you reach it, just pull it up. I don’t lock it from the inside so it’s just a piece of cake.” he said. My breaths were heavy because, Jesus Christ, I was two floors above ground! I closed my eyes and aimlessly reached for the latch.

 

“Move closer!” Chanyeol whispered, now a bit louder than the first. I groaned. I never imagined to do this today, Park Chanyeol, or ever in my whole life. This is a near death experience. Tell mom I love her when I die. I moved another inch towards the window and succeeded in pulling the glass up.

 

“Yes!” we both muttered. I entered the room in a frenzy because of the adrenaline. Chanyeol followed not long after. When his face emerged from the window, he had the brightest grin ever.

 

“How was that, Baek?” Babe. Uggh here we go again. I made a face at him and he laughed.

 

 

 

 

 

We then took turns using the bathroom. He made me use it first as visitor courtesy. When I came out, he was holding an old shirt and shorts.

 

“Hand-me-downs from seventh grade. They’ll fit you just fine.” Turned out he was right and in just a little while, I was fixing my hair in front of his mirror.

 

Fifteen minutes or so, Chanyeol came out of the bathroom. Half – . A white towel just draped around his waist. The schoolgirl inside of me hid her face but made sure her eyes took a little peek between her fingers. He was drying his hair with a blower when I saw him. My mouth fell automatically but I closed it back again else he’ll notice. He was wet all over and the droplets s down his solid trunk, making a little stop on the intersection of his abs and navel and finally rolling down to his faint abdominal hair. There’s a reason why we call it a happy trail. I made a mental note of the little birthmark below his left nips before looking away; resuming combing my hair as if nothing mattered.       

 

“Hey Baek, can you dig into my closet for my boxers?” I froze.

 

“Yeah sure.” My hands were trembling when I opened the drawer and threw him his underwear. I. Held. His. Underwear. Lords have mercy on me. I went to his bed and started folding my clothes.

 

“Do you want to eat breakfast first?” he asked. That’s when I noticed what he was doing. I looked at him (he was pulling the boxers up his legs *gulp*) and gave the most serious face I could muster at that moment.

 

“I know what you’re doing. You can’t avoid them forever Yeol, I told you.”

 

He ignored the comment and proceeded on removing the towel from his waist (gasp!) and putting his shorts on. I just looked at him, faking a not-so-amused look. He buttoned the shorts and rummaged his closet for a shirt. He wore them too and when his face emerged from the top, he gazed keenly at me. I didn’t let his eyes intimidate me. Instead I stood up and flicked his forehead with his towel.     

 

“Ouch! You do like to hurt me so much, you know that?”

 

“So do you.” I said in the spur of the moment and I immediately wanted to eat those words back. He was immobilized.

 

“What?”

 

“Nothing.” I then moved towards my things and piled them neatly. “Let’s go now Yeol before I change my mind and go home.” Chanyeol sighed. He then sat beside me and took the bouquet.

 

“Look at them Baek. They look good on their own but when they’re together…” I cut him.

 

“…they look a lot better. Yes, you said that earlier.”

 

“I don’t want to see my parents yet but I don’t want to face them alone later, either. And that’s unfair. You’re making me choose between my wants and my needs. I need you here Baek, just like the daffodils need the hyacinths.” I kept my quiet. I could feel his eyes digging a hole into my skull with every minute that passed so I surrendered.

 

“I’m sorry that you believe it’s unfair but I’m doing this for you while it’s still not too late.”

 

“It’s too late, Baek. They’re getting the divorce!”

 

“What if you can still do something? What if you could actually turn things around?”

 

“And how do I do that?” he asked bewilderment painted on his face. I moved closer to him and took the flowers.

 

“By showing up. Tell them what you feel. Make them remember the reason why they actually married each other in the first place.” I placed his hand on his chest.

 

“Love,” we chorused as he lifted his gaze to me.

 

“Make them remember how to love, Yeol.” Before it’s too late, I said to myself remembering mom and dad and all the hardships she had to go through to raise me. I closed my eyes, remembering my childhood and imagining what I could have done back then when I was at the same situation as him, when a knock from the door brought me back to Chanyeol’s hand on his chest and the flowers in mine.

 

“Chanyeol! Baekhyun! Breakfast is ready.” An old but booming voice of a woman said from the other side of the door. We looked at each other.

 

“You were making too much noise.” He said. I scoffed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

We went down to the dining hall to see a feast of bread, bacon, omelets, and corn soup. It was hard to imagine that Chanyeol’s grandma did all these by herself. Just like mom, she didn’t like having strangers in her home to take care of her even if they had the money to hire one. She was a jolly fellow of sixty two. If not for the wrinkles on her face, I would have mistaken her for a forty year old with her energy. Chanyeol never really liked her but I found myself admiring her independence and her outspoken nature. We picked our seats around the table with Chanyeol beside me when his grandma came out of the kitchen holding a big plate of hotdogs. I smiled at her.

 

“Hello Baekhyun!” she greeted me with perfectly fake teeth.

 

“Good morning Mrs. Park,” I said looking at Chanyeol who was avoiding his grandma’s stare. I could see his hand fidgeting under the table.

 

“Hello Channie. Where were you last night?” I gulped. Chanyeol sighed and looked at his plate. “I was with Baekhyun in his gig in the next town. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to ask permission.” I was quick to help him.

 

“I’m sorry Mrs. Park-”

 

“I told you before to call me grandma, right?” she said placing the plate at the center of the table.

 

“I-I’m sorry grandma it was my fault I asked him to come with me. This will never happen again.”

 

“I’m not against Yeol coming with you. It’s just that he slipped out the house from his bedroom window before dinner was ready and I had no idea where he was.” She said walking towards us and grabbing Yeol by the ears. I laughed at the scene. She took it light heartedly too and joined in my glee. Chanyeol groaned because this time the joke was on him.

 

“Good morning mom, Chanyeol, and who is this?” said a voice of a man from behind us. He sounded like a guy with authority and it wasn’t hard to decipher it was Chanyeol’s father. Chanyeol remained seated shaking his legs. “Hi dad,” he said reluctantly as if he was just addressing someone on the street. I stood up and bowed at him.

 

“Good morning Mr. Park. I am Byun Baekhyun, Chanyeol’s best friend,” I said and gave him my biggest smile although I found it hard to even look at him. He screamed of pure control, from the stiffness of his coat and the straightness of his tie to the hair combed back and the spectacles on his face. He didn’t look like Chanyeol at all, except maybe for the ears and the height. He studied me with questioning eyes before finally smiling back at me. He extended his hand and I shook it. “Hello Baekhyun. Welcome to the family.”

 

He found himself a chair in front of us and when he sat it felt like it was our cue to sit down, too. The room fell silent, even grandma Park lost her usual cheery self. Chanyeol kept his head down all throughout and it was heartbreaking to see him crumble even before the storm. I nudged him by my elbow and placed my right hand on his lap. He looked at it, then at my face. I saw his lips twitch a bit when out came his mother.

 

She was beautiful. Old age did nothing to her except make her beauty more prominent. She looked a lot like her son from the sparkle of the eyes to the trademark Chanyeol grin. It was hard to unsee everything once you notice. “Hello mom,” she said running towards grandma giving her a kiss on the cheek. ”Sorry a little late, had a meeting with the board online.” She then ran towards the boy beside me and leaned down. “Hello Chanyeol,” she beamed, hugging him from behind. He remained as stiff as ever. I was going to stand up to give her a bow when,

 

“Hello Baekhyun,”

 

She knew my name. How the hell did she know me? She giggled a bit. “Mom told me a lot about you,” she said, looking at Chanyeol and then back at me. “Thank you for taking care of our son when we couldn’t.” I was speechless. Her smile looked so sincere I melted on the spot. I gave her a quick nod and sank on my seat. That’s when I noticed she skipped her husband and sat beside grandma. I assumed it wasn’t time for my hand to be on Chanyeol’s lap so I decided to remove it. But Chanyeol stopped me and even wrapped his fingers around it. He squeezed it as if asking me for strength for what was about to happen. I answered it with my thumb brushing his pinky.

 

“I guess it’s time to eat?” grandma announced rather out of the moment but still we dug into the bountiful breakfast. I resorted to getting the soup, omelets and bacon. Chanyeol took the bread and the eggs. Chanyeol’s mom was very helpful, even standing up to give us what we wanted. “Here’s your bacon, Baekhyun.” She joked, placing a strip on my plate. I wasn’t able to suppress the chuckle I made. When she saw Chanyeol’s hand around mine, she gave me a knowing smile and winked, then went back to her seat. I blushed. I quickly removed my hand which took Chanyeol by surprise. He looked at me but then I just side eyed him. He was eating lazily as if buying time - time that he could waste to avoid the inevitable truth.

 

On the other hand, Mr. Park blended with the background. I sometimes forgot he was there until he cleared his throat or asked us to pass the plate to him. If Mrs. Park was a loving mom in the inside, Mr. Park looked plain bland to me. The authority he showed earlier seemed superficial and it was as if there was something rotten inside him. I looked at grandma and she gave me a sad smile.

 

 

 

 

 

“Chanyeol. Let’s talk about the divorce.” Mr. Park suddenly announced and all utensils stopped clanging. Beside me, I could feel Chanyeol’s fists tense.

 

Mrs. Park was quick to disagree. “Not now, hon. We could talk it out later after breakfast.” She said, her head bowed, concentrating on slicing her omelet.

 

“Now’s the time. I have a flight to catch.”

 

“I have a flight to catch too but I’m cancelling it for our son.” My heart ached at that last word. When I looked at Chanyeol he was looking at both of them at last, but his eyes were sad and anticipating.

 

“This flight’s important. I have to go or we’ll lose the bonds with Norw-”

 

“Just this time, hon. Please.”

 

“See that’s your problem!” Chanyeol said standing up. We all looked at him.

 

“Dad, you’re the worst man I’ve ever known in my life. All you think about is work and work and work. You forget you have a family too.” His voice cracked, a snivel tensing to escape from his throat. Grandma and Mrs. Park looked away, as if holding back the tears that were about to fall. I didn’t know what to do. This wasn’t what we planned. I told him to talk his way out of this divorce but at this rate, he’d not only break his parents’ hearts but also his.

 

“Sit down, Park Chanyeol.” Mr. Park’s eyes were burning in fury. He ignored him.

 

“Mom, you act as if every time you wasted away from me would be mended with this simple act of kindness. No mom, it wouldn’t mend the scars you both left. It’s over the time you chose your careers over me.”

 

It was too much. Chanyeol was getting out of hand. I wanted to run. To forget this happened. All the memories of my dark childhood flickering like a broken bulb in my head.

 

 

Go away! It was over the time you chose her over us!

I can explain, honey. Calm down.

Go away!

 

 

I excused myself but Chanyeol grabbed me by the arm.

 

“No Baekhyun. Stay with me! You promised to stay with me if I confront them and tell me what I feel.” He then looked at his family.

 

“When you were away, chasing a broken dream of building a happy family through money, this boy took care of me. He’s better than both of you combined. And I’ll trade him for you if I was given the choice.”

 

“Chanyeol stop!” I heard my voice echo in the room.

 

 

I slapped him hard on the face.

 

 

 The room fell silent. His eyes were wide open as he touched the tender redness of his cheek.

 

 

A tear started rolling down.

 

“I told you to mend hearts not break them, Yeol. I said try to put this family together. I told you to make them remember, not make them forget. Can you at least listen for once to what other people tell you?” I said, my eyes starting to blur too and I wiped them with the napkin on the table. I excused myself and headed for his room.

 

Before I ran up the stairs I took a quick look at the family I just broke. Chanyeol was standing with his head bowed shaking violently as sobs flowed freely from his eyes. I wanted to hold him, to apologize, to take him in my arms and protect him from his rain. But my feet betrayed me and took me all the way up. When I went back down, they were all seated in the living room sitting silently as if counting each other’s breaths. Chanyeol wouldn’t look at me. I choked down the sob.

 

“Thank you for having me here,” I said before exiting the door.

 

That’s all it took me to let the entire ache gush out. It started with the burning in my throat that quickly escaped as I closed the door of the Park residence. The bouquet in hand and my day old clothes seemed like a long lost story and I was living another life. Just an hour ago, I was happily holding hands with the man I love. I turned everything upside down at that breakfast table. If I had the power to turn back time, I’d love to change what happened at least I’d be on Chanyeol’s side. But life is cruel. It leaves you nothing but regrets in the end.

 

I started running until my breaths turned into sobs. Everything I passed by turned into a blur but I wasn’t sure if it was because of my speed or the moisture in my eyes. In my hurry I tripped over a rock and the bouquet in my hand flew and landed on the pavement. My feet hurt and my wrists bled because of the impact. I was tear stricken and blood stained. I ignored the curious stares that people gave me because they didn’t know how much I wanted to kill myself at that moment.

 

Come with me.

 

I need you here Baek, just like the daffodils need the hyacinths.

 

I saw him again as he touched his cheek where my palm struck him.

 

I saw him again in the dining room, crying.

 

I saw him again sitting, avoiding my eyes.

 

I’m sorry.

 

I’m sorry I failed you as your best friend, I said, finally breaking down on the sidewalk. I forgot everything that was happening at that moment. The hurt engulfed me like a tsunami and I was grabbing the water for escape. I was a fool to believe I had the right to change lives and even think that Chanyeol’s relationship with me was so special that nothing would happen even if we break each other’s hearts.

 

I didn’t notice the crowd huddling around me, nor the sirens wailing or even my mom embracing me whispering ‘it will be alright’ and carrying me home.

 

It will never be alright now, mom. I lost Chanyeol. I promised to be the umbrella to his rain but I failed. I couldn’t give him the love he wanted.

 

But maybe she could.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dara.

 

I took my phone to dial Luhan’s number but when I looked at the screen, his name screamed at me.

 

Chanyeol.

 

A fresh stream came out of my eyes but I decided to ignore his text. I couldn’t help him, but maybe the girl of his eyes could. I dialed Luhan’s number. Three rings and he picked up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Hello Luhan. Can you get Dara to meet with me?”

 

---

 

AUTHOR'S NOTE: The long wait is over guys! Thank you so much for the support. Is it wrong to cry over your own work ;A;

This by far is the longest chapter yet, and the most hearbreaking one for me. Please take time to read and post comments down there to let me know how you felt and give me suggestions to improve. Thank you very much! The next chapter will be up after my last exam this week. Until then! :)