chapter 4

Sunggyu wonders why he can't find it in himself to be scared. It really should mortify him that he's so accepting of it all but maybe there's a part of him that still doesn't think any of it is real. But the kiss was real enough and the indescribable feelings it gave Sunggyu were enough to make him think that it was real. It's as if he'd been waiting for something his whole life, unable to find it until Woohyun kissed him. Thinking back on it, there was always something missing. But he'd never realized it, not until Woohyun had kissed him and his world started to make sense. Like Woohyun was the answer all along.

He wonders if there is anyone else in the world who could possibly feel the same way he feels. 

"I--" Sunggyu starts, unable to continue. 

"I've wanted to do that for a long time," Woohyun says, breath hot against the corner of Sunggyu's mouth. 

"I still don't know who you are." But I feel like I've known you my entire life, Sunggyu thinks, but he can't quite get the words across. 

Woohyun pauses before sliding off the bed and standing. He reaches out and helps Sunggyu to his feet. Sunggyu has to will his legs to stabilize but he ends up wobbling a little, having to lean on Woohyun for support. "Let's get you some breakfast. You must be hungry."

____

The mansion is magnificent and Sunggyu stares in awe as they walk through the hall. It's old fashioned, regal wallpaper lining the walls and persian rugs leading the way to the staircase. The landing of the staircase opens up into a grand foyer decorated with fine paintings and antique furniture. 

As they descend the stairs, someone comes in through the large front doors. When Sunggyu looks at who it is, his knees buckle and he stumbles forward a little. 

The stranger he'd met in the coffee shop brushes the snow off of his black jacket and takes it off. He looks up at them and offers a polite smile. "I'm glad you're okay," the stranger says. 

"This is Myungsoo, whom you've met already. Which I'm sorry about. I didn't know that he would approach you," Woohyun says, placing his hand on Sunggyu's upper arm. The touch sends shivers down Sunggyu's spine and he recoils slightly at the unexpected feeling. If Woohyun notices, he doesn't say anything.

"I was just trying to help you out," Myungsoo says matter-of-factly. "I think my approach was better than volunteering to be a model for his art class just to get him to notice you."

Woohyun sighs and Sunggyu looks at him. "Is that true?"

"Yes," Woohyun answers and it's almost timid. 

"Anyway, I need to talk to you," Myungsoo says as he turns to look at Woohyun. "Alone, if you'll allow." 

Woohyun nods. "Would you like to go into town, Sunggyu? Sojin can accompany you."

"Sojin?" Sunggyu asks, tilting his head slightly to the side. 

"She's what you would call my maid, I suppose, or perhaps a caretaker. Don't worry, she'll take good care of you."

________

Sunggyu refuses every brand name store Sojin suggests. He'd feel awkward and out of place in there, he tells her, and he'd much prefer going to a bookstore. "Are you sure?" she asks, and Sunggyu finds it hard to look directly at her. She's very beautiful. 

"I don't need any new clothes," he assures. "I just want to find look around anyways." 

She reluctantly agrees but reminds him that Woohyun has told her to take care of his every need. "If you need anything or want to do anything, please tell me." 

For the most part he window shops, not actually planning to buy anything. He instead lets his mind wander, thinking about the situation he's in. He still can't remember all of the details from the night he was stabbed but what about everyone else that was there? Had his friends and family heard? Did they think he was dead? 

"Was I on the news?" Sunggyu asks Sojin. "Did Woohyun just, um, leave with me?"

"Woohyun was able to make everyone that was there forget about the incident. However, there were many people so he was unable to make them permamently forget. With no witnesses, the police have been unable to find you. And since you aren't a criminal, they couldn't match the DNA found in your blood."

"So no one knows it was me?"

"Yes."

"Could I visit my friend?"

Sojin's kind smile falters and she looks at Sunggyu sadly. "For now, it would be best if you didn't stray too far. You will soon be able to see your loved ones, however."

Sunggyu frowns. He had expected a similar answer but it doesn't make him any less disappointed. He wonders if Jungwook is worried. It's been two days and Sunggyu rarely misses class, but he hasn't been there and his phone is dead. He'd found it on the bedside table in Woohyun's room earlier, but it's useless until he can get a charger. As they pass a coffee shop, Sunggyu stops and Sojin asks him if he wants some coffee. 

"Actually, yeah. That'd be nice. Do you mind buying it while I go to the bathroom?" Sunggyu says and she agrees easily. 

Thankfully, there's a back door right next to the bathrooms, and Sunggyu slips out easily. Jungwook's apartment isn't terribly far from downtown, but it's a lengthy enough walk. With no money, though, Sunggyu will have to it up. 

He feels a little bad about ditching Sojin who has been nothing but nice to him, but he can't wait to see Jungwook. His parents are a different story; he doesn't keep in contact enough with them because of school and work and they live a town over. But he sees Jungwook almost every day and two days of no contact must be worrying. 

As Sunggyu distances himself from downtown, exhaustion starts kicking in and he has to slow down considerably. Despite the cold, he's sweating and he feels like he might vomit at any minute. Jungwook's apartment complex comes into view and he trudges towards it, breathing heavily. 

Sunggyu has to look past the red spots in his vision in order to dial Jungwook's apartment. For several minutes, he gets no answer. He doesn't know what time it is but Jungwook should be home. It's a Saturday and Jungwook doesn't have a life. 

Leaning against the wall, Sunggyu tries to collect himself. He sheds his jacket, too hot to keep it on, and wipes the sweat from his forehead. The door opens then and Jungwook walks through, bundled up in a parka and scarf. "S-Sunggyu?" he says and Sunggyu weakly smiles at him. 

"Hey Jungwook," he mutters.

"Jesus, Sunggyu, you look horrible. Where have you been? Why haven't you answered any of my calls?" Jungwook rushes over and props Sunggyu up. He presses the back of his hand to Sunggyu's forehead and curses at how hot his skin is. "You have a fever. Here, get on my back. You need to get in bed."

______

"What the actual , Sunggyu. You were M.I.A. for two days and you show up to my door half-dead," Jungwook says as he gives Sunggyu some ibuprofen. He'd felt fine before but as he walked he started to feel like death. Sunggyu isn't sure if it's just stress catching up to him or if he's body is finally caving in. Whatever the reason for the fever, he feels awful. 

Sunggyu looks at Jungwook. He can't tell him about Woohyun, or about the incident two days ago. "Family emergency," he lies instead. 

"And you couldn't at least text me back?"

"You know the service where my parents live is terrible."

"So what was this family emergency? Are your parents okay?"

"O-oh yeah. It wasn't even that big -- just my mom's cat got a cold and they thought it was going to die. You know how my parents are. Dramatic."

Jungwook eyes him carefully and Sunggyu panics momentarily. But the moment passes and Jungwook nods in understanding. "Sounds like them."

"Can I borrow a charger?" Sunggyu asks a moment later and Jungwook grabs one from his bedside table. Sunggyu plugs it in and watches as his screen lights up. It takes a moment and then he's met with a myriad of notifications. 36 missed calls and 79 new messages. Sunggyu looks up at Jungwook and Jungwook shrugs with a sheepish look on his face. 

"Hey, I told you I was worried. You should hear the voicemails."

Sunggyu laughs then and he grabs Jungwook's hand, tugging until Jungwook gets the idea and bends down to let Sunggyu nuzzle into him. 

"Ugh, so mushy," Jungwook complains but he doesn't really mean it. Sunggyu holds him tight, holding back tears as he laments the fact that nothing will be the same again.