After the quarrel, everything was back to normal. Xiumin acted nothing had happened and Hyosung was giddy like always. Except this time, they were the ones who took care of the baby. They never asked me to help them and even restricted me to lay a finger on the baby.

I missed Jieun.

I missed the first time I embraced her in my arms and her doll-like eyes stared into mine innocently.

How I wished she was mine.

How I wished I could hug my own child just like I hugged her.

But dreams will remain as dreams. And I knew that I was alone till the end.

I was still here, in the house with Xiumin and Hyosung. Jieun was a happy one-year-old toddler who being loved so dearly by her parents and my existence to her was like nothing. Most of the time, she would just ignored me and cried when I was alone with her. I had never touched her since the day Hyosung warned me not to touch her baby and yes, I did not do anything to her. I felt empty. Well, I was always like this, wasn't I?

It was weekend. Before dawn, I was already awake and was still in my sleeping robe. I took my baby blue pashmina and covered my thin body with it. I slid open the sliding door and stepped on the balcony. It was cold as autumn was knocking its arrival. I ignored the cold wind that caused me to shiver and sat on the white chair. I closed my eyes and waited for the sun to peek through the horizon. The cold wind blew again and my hands gripped the pashmina tighter. Out of the blue, a thought crashed to my mind. I opened my eyes immediately and drew a sharp breath. Cold air rushed into my lungs and somehow, awakened my tired body.

I should go outside today. Maybe I would find life again.

And I did. I wore my skinny jeans, a plain black sweater and paired them with my brown Ugg boots. It was the best outfit that I owned afterall. Before stepping into the outside world, I went back to my room and pulled the drawer. I scrambled all the things inside to search for my purse. When I found it, I prayed that there were some money in them. I peeked into my purse and I giggled in happiness. I was rich and I did not know how did those amount got into my purse.

1 million won and two credit card. My life was getting better.

It was 12 at noon. Seoul did not change at all since my last visit, which was two years ago. The street was busy with vehicles and pedestrian along the walkway. I was inside the crowd too, figuring out where I should go next. Then, my eyes cough