"Well... Firstly I want you to know that I've always loved you, and never planned to hurt you like this. I can't explain in words how sorry I am and how much I hate myself." Seunghyun started his talking and Jiyong nodded slowly, motioning him to continue. "Everything started two months before I left, I was starting to have this pain in my chest at time to time. I thought it was nothing serious so I just ignored it until the pain came back more regulary. I started to worry about my health a little bit. About three weeks before the "accident" I went to the doctor to make a health control. They told me I had a very serious heart-disease, I got shocked and when...when they told me I only had up to one or two months left to live I freaked out" Jiyong dropped his chin at this 

"YOU HAD A ING MONTH LEFT TO LIVE AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!?" Jiyong freaked out too

"Please let me explain everything!" Jiyong calmed down and Seunghyun continued "The reason I didn't tell you was...I know that this was very selfish of me and I regret it to my bones. I didn't tell you cause I didn't want the last weeks of my life to be filled with sorrow. I wanted to die knowing that you were okay and happy. The only thing I wanted to remember before I closed my eyes for the last time was your smiling face and your beutiful laugh... So I was thinking of a good way to leave, and when the accident happened I saw it as a chance to take off. The week before I left I told Dae, Seungri and Youngbae to tell you I'll always love you no matter what happens. Did they?" Jiyong nodded "Good... I was one of the first ones to come out of the office when it was on fire. I was thinking that if I ran away now everybody will think I died in the fire, and since I would die soon anyways it wouldn't matter. I would still die right?... I moved to the other side of Seoul so I wouldn't risk running into you. I stayed at my cousin's house for the last week, but it wasn't the last week, I was still alive after three weeks. The doctors had said that I could live for one to two moths so I wasn't very surprised. Almost everyday I was at the hospital with the doctors trying to cure my disease that they thought was impossible. And every day, hour, minute and second I thought about you... After two surgeries and lots of medice they succeeded to cure me. Ofcourse I was relieved that I didn't die but... I didn't have anything left in my life to live for. I was a too big of a coward to return home to you. I simlpy didn't dare return. That's when I left Seoul. I moved to the countryside. Well since I didn't have much money it was hard to find a place to live. But after some searching I moved in at a old married couple's home. They were very nice and offred me sleeping place, food and clothes that was their son's before he moved out. I became very close to the old lady, and she was almost like a mother for me. For a couple of weeks ago me and ahjumma sat down and talked. I told her everything that happened and how I left you. She scolded me very hard for have been so heartless to you and told me I had to get back to you. And I realised that is was the only right thing to do for both you and me. I did thought that you'd camed over me with time but I thought that you diserved to know the truth. My life without you these years has been simply pointless and I was hurting so much from being away from you that I had to see you again. I never thought that I broke you down this much, I never realised exactly what I was doing to you. I'm so damn ing sorry, I can't even put it in words. When I read those letters from you I could feel the way you've felt and it felt terrible. I still love you as much as I always have, I'm sorry"

When Seunghyun was done with his explaining all Jiyong could do was just to sit there in silence for a while. His brain slowly progressed the whole situation. He felt hurted, angry and sad but at the same time a little happy. He was happy beacause he'd expected the worst, he expected that Seunghyun would tell him that he found someone else and didn't love him anymore. And when they broke up he camed back to Jiyong, like Jiyong was his second option... Or something like that. So knowing that Seunghyun loved him all this time and still does was warming his heart a little bit.

"I'm so angry with you, you're such an idiot! You had a heart disease and you didn't tell me. I could have helped you, and we could've went through everything together. There would be no broken hearts and all these problems wouldn't exist!" Jiyong said

"But I didn't expect to survive Jiyong"

"But you should have told me anyway!"

"I know..."

There was another moment of silence before Jiyong spoke up again.

"I'm very happy that you survived. And I'm very happy that you're here, so don't get me wrong. But the thing you did to me was still very wrong and selfish. But... I need to say sorry to you too... For the things I said to you the other week... The whole "I regret I ever loved you" thing... It was very stupid of me to say that and I do not regretting loving you. Infact I still love you. Everything I said in the letters were true, I hated you but at the same time I loved you and I would always be waiting for you. And I have been waiting for you. And now that you've finally camed back I've been pushing you away? That doesn't even sound right in my own head. I still love you."

"Please don't say you're sorry to me. I diserve everything you said." Seunghyun had a painful look on his face

"Yes, you do... But I don't want to be away from you, I want you near. I missed you Hyunnie, I've missed you so much"

"Jiyong, can I hug you?" Seunghyun asked

"Yes" Jiyong said as he began to rise up from his chair. Just as he standed up right he felt strong arms embracing him in a tight hug full of longing.

"Don't you ever dare hurting yourself again" Seunghyun said, Jiyong could hear Seunghyun sobbing in his neck. Jiyong curled his arms around Seunghyun and leaned into the hug. "P..Promise me Jiyong! Don't ever hurt yourself!"

"I promise" Jiyong said in a low voice almost whipsering.

"Thank you" Seunghyun whispered

"And Seunghyun?"

"Ne?"

"I forgive you"

Seunghyun released the hug and looked deeply into Jiyongs eyes.

"Don't." Seunghyun said in a serious tone with tears trickeling down his face.

"Don't tell me what to do! If I say I forgive you, I do. And you should be happy with that."

"Believe me I am happy but I just think that I don't deserve it. But I can promise you that if you want me back, I will try to be the very best for you, and never let you down or hurt you again. I will give you my everything. I love you Kwon Jiyong, and if you do forgive me I am as happy I can be" He said with a sad smile.

"Kiss me." Jiyong said

Seunghyun looked a little suprised by the sudden demand but he obeyed. He slowly leaned forward and took Jiyong's chin between his thumb and index finger, he closed the distance between his lips and kissed him with much love. The kiss went on for a moment. They'd missed eachothers lips so much that they didn't want to ever part them again. But the staff in the café starting to look at them with disliking looks on their faces. The most older koreans still aren't very happy with gay couples, so they had to eventully part.

"You still kiss the same." Jiyong stated

"You remembered my kisses?"

"I remembered every little tiny bit of you Seunghyun."

"I know that I've already said this a few times now but I can't tell you this too many times. I love you"

"I..I love you t...too" Jiyong said with a little difficulty. 

YAY! Another chappie with much going on in it! Please tell me what you think, I love getting comments so please please pleeeaaase comment and subscribe! And oh, I'm sorry for mistakes  ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥