Seunghyun’s POV

Seunghyun stared at the box Jiyong dropped and said was for him. He felt tears building up in his eyes when he thought about how sad Jiyong had looked with his tearstained face and shaking voice. He had missed Jiyong so much, there was no doubt that he still loves him. 

Seunghyun slowly picked up the black box. He didn’t dare too look inside of it right now, cause he didn’t like crying in public. He made his way home to the small apartment he currently lived in.

He sat down on the couch and slowly took off the lid of the box, revealing a bunch of papers. Well letters.

Seunghyun looked through the dates on the letters. Jiyong had written letters to him once a month since his ”death”. Now tears fell freely from Seunghyun’s eyes. Seunghyun took up the first letter, it was written one week after the accident.

To Hyunnie

I can’t believe in what they say. You can’t be dead, you said you’d never leave me. And now you have left me in the worst way there is. 

Please Hyunnie say that when I go down to the station tonight I will see you coming off that train. Let me see your smile once more. Don’t hurt me like this. I know you can’t be dead. 

I will everyday walk down to the station 7 am. During the day you can find me at our ice cream café. 8 am I will be back at the station waiting for you to come home. Then I will still everyday take our walk by Han River. When you’re coming back you know where you can find me. I will still live in our apartment. 

I’ll always wait for you.

I love you! 

Jiyong

The letter was short but it still made Seunghyun cry hard. He hated himself now. But he had to leave, and he will one day tell Jiyong why. He hoped that Jiyong would understand. But Seunghyun couldn’t stop hating himself for being so selfish.

He continued reading the letters all night, and before he knew it the sun had began to rise up. It was 50 letters in the box, but it took time to read through if you had crying pauses between every letter.

Seunghyun had now been reading about how messed up Jiyong had been since he left him. How he was being called crazy and mad, his suicide attempts, about how Daesung, Seungri and Youngbae took times too go and see how he was doing and how Jiyong litterly was at the station and Han River everyday waiting for him.

Seunghyun felt like a complete and was now pounding his head in the wall crying. His stomach and chest hurted. He could never guess that he had hurted Jiyong this much.When he left he thought he was doing the right thing. (A/N: it will make sense why he thought that later) But it still was very selfish and he knew that. 

With shaking hands he brought up the last and most recently written letter.

Annyeong Seunghyun

I just wanted you to have these letters so you could see how selfish you’ve been. Daesung, Seungri and Youngbae were being good friends and told me about how you told everyone to lie about how you died. If you didn’t love me anymore couldn’t you just said so? Did you have to break me down like this? I hate you for leaving me like that. I hate you for causing me so much pain. I hate you for lying to me. I hate that no matter how cruel things you do to me I can’t stop loving you.

I still love you Seunghyun and always have. And like I said I’ve always waited for you. Now that you’re back...it is up to you. I think that I deserve too know why you left me, cause I can’t get it. But at the same time I don’t want to see you. Bae, Daesung and Seungri told me that you’d said to them that you’ll always love me. And if I ever doubted your love for me they would tell me that you still love me. But I can’t understand why you left then. 

Don’t bother to apologise Seunghyun. What you have done to me is just to much, I can’t take this,

Jiyong

The other letters had already made Seunghyun hate himself, this one was just making it worse. Jiyong was still in love with him. Just like Seunghyun still loved Jiyong. Seunghyun had too explain to Jiyong why he left him three years ago. And how much he had always loved him and still do.

”I’m so sorry Jiyong...I’m so sorry...please...please” Seunghyun cried hugging the letter.

Seunghyun rose up from the floor still shaking as he sobbed in his hands. He knew he had to go tell Jiyong how much he loved him, apologize for the pain and tell him why he left.

Seunghyun hadn’t prepared for this. He thought that Jiyong had moved on and forgot about him. Apperantly not.

He stepped in his shoes and grabbed his coat. Then he practically ran to Jiyong’s appartment. Seunghyun remebered the way like he was there just yesterday. After all he used to live there.

Finally reaching the appartment building Seunghyun was panting and tears were still running down his cheeks. A few people that went past him looked at him weirdly and mumbled to them selves. 

”So this is how Jiyong felt all this time?” He thought to himself feeling more sorry. Jiyong mentioned in one letter how people looked at him wierdly and whispered things.

He climbed up 10 stairs before standing outside of Jiyong’s home. He couldn’t bring himself to knock just yet. He was still crying and panting. After a while he calmed down and wiped away his tears. Ofcourse the sign of heavy crying was still showing on his face but he didn’t care. He knocked on the door, and after a while he heard steps from the inside reaching the door. 

”Who is it?” He heard Jiyong say through the door.

YAAAY an update! sorry for mistakes ^3^