Jiyong are today 28 years old, and three years have passed since the accident. 

Before his boyfriend’s death Jiyong was one of those happy and bubbly persons. But from three years back he barely smiled anymore. His friends Youngbae, Seungri and Daesung are still very worried for him. 

Jiyong is still living in the apartment he and Seunghyun shared. And his days is still the same. 6 am he goes up to prepare breakfast for two. 7 am he heads out to Seoul’s central station to look at the train Seunghyun used to leave with. On the day he goes to Cold Stone Creamery to buy a scoop of mint and chocolate chip ice cream (Seunghyun’s favorite). At 8 pm he is back at the station too hope that a slightly tired Seunghyun would walk out of the train wearing a big smile as he meet Jiyong’s eyes. But ofcourse his Seunghyun never comes back. Then he takes a walk by Han River by himself crying.

Seungri, Youngbae and Daesung takes times once a week to go home to Jiyong and check on him. Jiyong has tried to commit suicide about four times. So they basicly goes there to keep him from dying.

His friends and other people that sees him during the day thinks he gone mad. There is even some that calls him crazy and lunatic as he passes by. And those comments on him don’t make him feel any better.

Today is no diffrence from his usual schedule. Jiyong was home at half past 9 pm. He dragged himself to the bathroom to splash some cold water on his tearstained face. 

He looked himself in the mirror afterwards water still dripping from his face.

”What happned with you Jiyong? I can’t even reconize myself anymore” Jiyong thought and sighed walking out of the bathroom to drop himself at his king sized bed. The bed still had Seunghyun’s smell on it. But that’s just cause Jiyong is still buying Seunghyun’s cologne and spraying it in his apartment. He laid and sniffed at a pillow.

”Maybe I am crazy?” Jiyong thought as he inhaled the manly scent of the cologne.

Soon he fell into a not so deep slumber. These days Jiyong never slept well, he was always longing for his boyfriend’s strong arms around him lulling him to sleep.

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6 am the alarm went off. Jiyong growled and reached for stop it from ringing. He went to the kitchen and took out two bowls filling them with rice and kimchi. But ofcourse there was only one of them that were eaten. Jiyong threw the meal meant for Seunghyun in the trashcan.

He pulled on his sneakers and jacket and walked to the station 10 minutes away. he sat down at one of the benches near the tracks. looking at the crowd of people stepping on the train.

He watched all of the people on by one and he could swear he saw Seunghyun’s face in the crowd. He widened his eyes and shouted for Seunghyn.

”Seunghyun! Seunghyun!” Jiyong shouted running to the train. He could see one head in the crowd turn around but then it disappeared. Jiyong runned up to the train just as the trains door closed. Panting he banged at the door for it to open but without succesess.

The train started to drive away slowly, and soon Jiyong couldn’t see the train anymore.

He didn’t know if he should cry or smile. He saw Seunghyun, he was sure of it.

He brought his phone up from his pocket to call Daesung. Daesung answered after three tones, slightly surprised that Jiyong was calling him.

”Jiyong?” Daesung’s sleepy voice asked

”Ne, yoboseyo Daesung! Mian if i waked you up but I have some questions” Jiyong found himself smiling.

”Ani it’s okay. You can ask me anything” Daesung asked now more awake and surprised by the smile in Jiyong’s voice.

”How sure are you about Seunghyun’s...d...death?” Jiyong asked problem with saying the last word out loud.

He heard Daesung sigh deep on the other line ”Jiyong... please do you have to talk abo....”

He was cut off by Jiyong ”I saw him Dae. At the station, he stepped on his usual train. I screamed for him and he heard me but I don’t think he saw me”

”Ji, he is dead!” 

Jiyong answered with silence, and the tears began to fell.

”Jiyong? Mianhae but you have to understand, he’s not coming back”

”I know...I just hoped that... you know...”

”I understand. Where are you now, are you still at the station? I can come and pick you up i you want”

”Ani it’s okay”

”Okay hyung... Are you sure? You know we could hang out today?”

”Well... fine let’s meet up” Jiyong thought that he needed some distraction now. Maybe he had went up to that level of madness that he have started too hallucinate.

”Great! I’ll pick you up at the station in 15 minutes”

”Ne, see you then”

”Ne, see you!”

Jiyong sat on on the bench wiping his silent tears and telling himself that Seunghyun’s never coming back. 15 minutes later Daesung sended him a text saying that he is outside the station now.

Jiyong went to his friends car and got in the passenger side.

”Hey...how are you?” Daesung said looking a little worried at Jiyong

”I’m fine, just a little shocked... I really thought I saw him Dae”

”Hyung you now you have to let go of him sometime. It’s been three years now. Three years is a long time you need to move on”

”I know but it’s hard. I really loved him”

”I know you did Ji, and he loved you too. But you are starting to freak everyone out.”

”I know I’m acting like I’m mad, I know what people think about me but I don’t care”

”Well, hyung even me, Seungri and Bae are starting to take some distance from you” Daesung said trying to not sound mean

”I’ll try to get over him. I will not go to the station tonight” 

”That’s a very good start Jiyong! Now let’s do something fun. How about go to a spa?”

”Ne, I need to relax a little bit”

”YAY let’s go!”

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Jiyong actully enjoyed their time at the spa. He got massage and a hot bath. And now they sat at a sushi bar eating lunch.

”Did you like the spa?” Daesung sked grinning widely

”Yes it’s was lovely!” Jiyong said smiling wide too, forgetting about all his problems at the moment.

”I’m glad you liked it!”

”Ne... It was a while since I talked to you Dae, how’s life?”

”Good. Me, Seungri and Youngbae was at a club last week. And I met a girl there. Her name is Minzy and she is perfect really! We decided that we would meet up sometime, you know like a date”

”OOOH that’s good to hear! I’ve actully missed you guys.” Jiyong sighed

”Jiyong we miss you too. Are you ever going to be yourself again?”

”Ne, time will heal me right?”

”Well it’s been three years and you are still in this state...” Daesung said looking up and down Jiyong’s scary thin body. Obviously Jiyong hasn’t been taking care of himself.

”Ne, I know. But I will try to get better now I promise”

”Good”

They ate their sushi and then Daesung drove Jiyong back home.

When Jiyong stepped out of the car Daesung grabbed his wrist.

”Jiyong promise me one more thing, don’t go to the station tonight”

”I promise”

”Good, and one more thing. There’s no fault in hoping. Bye hyung”

”Bye dae” Jiyong answered not fully understood what his friend meant.

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A/N: So that was the first chapter. I hoped you liked it! Sorry if there's any mistakes, english is not my first language. Please subscribe and comment! Most of the photoedits are made by me just so you know ^.^