“Soo..”

            Kris got a hum as an answer.

            “Are you okay?”

            “I’m okay. No worries.”

            But Kris already knew that Kyungsoo wasn’t okay. The man he adores looked wistful in these few days after the last time he met Suho.

            Yes, the last meeting. Because after that day, Suho has never appeared. He’s just gone away. Kyungsoo tried to call his cell phone but Suho disappeared just like swallowed by the earth. Kyungsoo thought Suho would do a proper goodbye before he left but it never happened.

            “Kris..”

            Kris turned and found Kyungsoo was staring at him deeply.  A sincere smile etched on his lips.

            “Thank you.”

            “For what?”

            “For being with me in any condition, in good or bad times, you always there. I just realized how many years you’ve been spent to accompany me. Protecting me, keeping me safe all the times. I don’t even know where to find someone like you. Thank you for your sincerely.”

            Kris didn’t answer. He wanted ask just once in his life, what kind of relationship they’re currently in. Is it just a kind of friend with benefit or just best friend, or they can refer to each other as boyfriend.

            But he couldn’t do anything since Kyungsoo being morose by the reason of loss someone who Kris even has never known what kind of relationship occurred between those two. Kyungsoo admitted Suho as his best friend but Kris felt that he has a certain feeling toward Suho.

            If it’s true that Kyungsoo loves Suho, does Kris compliants to lose him? Will he live a day without seeing Kyungsoo? And if his thoughts were true, though the pain gnaw his entire heart but he will try to accept it. Although it took him many years to forget Kyungsoo, he will strive to do so. Because despite he loves Kyungsoo, he wanted him to choose freely, without hesitation and with no pressure.

            “Kris..”

            Kris felt a subtle touch landed on his shoulder. He turned back and smiled apologetically at Kyungsoo for the daydreaming he did when he’s supposed to accompany Kyungsoo as the aim why he came from the beginning.

            "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing.. I'm just a little bit tired. I was so busy lately. But that doesn’t matter."

"Besides work, is there me on your mind?"

            “Of course, you’re the one who keep sticking onto my mind every time.. Non-stop.”

            “I always think about you also.” Kyungsoo answered with his dreamy eyes.

            ‘Now or never at all..’ Kris thought. So he plucked up all of the courage then asked. “Kyungsoo.. Mind if I ask you something?”

            “Absolutely not. What’s that?”

            Kris took a deep breath and exhale it slowly. To be honest he’s not afraid to ask, but he afraid to hear the answer. He’s afraid of the rejection.

            “I love you.”

            Kyungsoo smiled. “I know. And that wasn’t a question, that’s a statement.”

            “I.. Can we.. You know, I think.. Hmm.. Our relationship..” Kris began to answer haltingly.

            “You want to make it official. Don’t you?” Kyungsoo guessing with no hesitance.

            “How do you know?” Kris amazed.

             Kyungsoo smiled once again. “Maybe I’ve never said a word but I know you better than anyone does. I know what’s makes you anxious eventually.”

            “Really? So.. What do you think?”

            “You’ve known the answer.”

            “No, I don’t. I don’t even know do you love me back as I do or I’m only dreaming. I'm afraid you just rewarded to my kindness all this time being or probably you're too afraid to tell me your objection from the very first time so you're keep me around until this moment.”

            “You look desperate, Kris..”

            “And why do you look so calm?”

            Kyungsoo only smiled, not replied at all.

            “For God's sake, Soo! I just wanna know the answer. I just need you to answer and to choose freely. I don’t want to make you feel distressed. If you love him.. Then I would be willing to let you go..”

            “Who are you talking about?” Kyungsoo asked rapidly. His face changed to be serious instantaneously.

            Kris responded in doubt. “Suho..”

            He mentioned that name grudgingly. Indeed. By telling this to Kyungsoo, means he allows Kyungsoo to choose Suho instead of him. But he wanted to know the truth.

            Kyungsoo’s gaze changing softly. "You're just jealous.”

            “I’m not.. Oh, come on, Soo.. Just come clean on me.”

            “Suho is one of my best friend, just like Jongin dan Chanyeol. Don’t mention Baekhyun, he’s a brother to me, not only a friend. But Suho is more special. I can’t explain but.. he is. That’s why I felt loss without his presence.”

            The special one.. A speck of jealousy biting Kris’ recesses of heart when Kyungsoo uttering it.

            “I won’t deny that I like him. But with you, it’s different. I love you. Always love you. Since the first time I only love you. So if you inquiry me to make it official, my answer will always be yes. Everybody even knows this. They thought we’re official already. I’ve never denied if somebody asking me about this, albeit occasionally I also ask myself if you think the same way with me.”

            Kris were pleasantly streaked with Kyungsoo’s confession. He had never thought that Kyungsoo would say something like this especially since Suho appeared among them. But everything has seen clearly then.

            “Do you know how many years that I’ve spent to wait you ask that question?” Kyungsoo even grasping Kris’ fingers.

            “I’m sorry.. I didn’t have any courage to ask you earlier. I was selfish. Thought that everything was fine although it’s unspoken. Sorry to wait for the third person to stir me up.”

            Kyungsoo shook as he smiled. “That’s okay. I thought I’ll wait longer than this. But now I’m relieved.”

            “Let me ask you properly. You know I love you since the first time we met. Now I want you, no, I mean I beg you to be mine. Do you Do Kyungsoo, will accept my proposal? I quarantee I’ll be on your side till we decide to get married. I love you. I really do. Can you please accept my heart?” Kris spoke heartily.

            “Yes.” Kyungsoo answered with no doubt. “Because I love you too. No – I love you more.”

            “I’m the one who love you more, Soo.” Kris didn’t to be outdone as he come closer to the latter’s face.

            “Whatever! The fact that we’re one now making me feel perfect.”

            “So.. We’re official now?”

            Kyungsoo smiled. “As we wish.” Then closing the distance between their lips with a deeply soft kiss.

*

            Day by day has passed. Almost a month since the day Suho had left. Kyungsoo was still thinking about him but he kept it on his mind, never let it out to maintain Kris’ feeling. And once again, he totally missed his beloved friend's figure. He just wanted to know that Suho’s fine and didn’t get any trouble at all?

            Until one day an email came to him. The electronic message was sent by Suho.

            Kyungsoo, how are you? Are you okay? I'm fine here. Actually the matter I do here is  more than I presume earlier. So I have to stay longer. You know, I miss you..

Kyungsoo felt his hearts warmed up suddenly. Reading the simple sentences from Suho was quite make him happy. He replied it quickly.

            I'm fine. What about you? Where you are right now? Please go back as soon as possible when you’ve done there, I miss you so much..

            Without thinking any longer, he sent the reply immediately. One minute. Two minutes. Five minutes. Ten minutes. Until the next hour, Suho wasn’t replied him. Even when Kyungsoo checked the inbox of the email throughout the day, there was no message he has been waiting for.

Is he too busy so he could not reply my message? Kyungsoo thought.

            And until next week, Kyungsoo have not received the message that he had been waiting.

            “Soo..”

            Kyungsoo lifted his gaze. Sense of guilt immediately rose in his heart to see Kris' face. How could he have thought of another man when he was with his boyfriend at the moment?

            “I’m sorry.. I was..”

            “I haven’t said anything.” Kris answered rapidly.

            “Ohh..”

            Kris just fell in silence, seemed to think what he intended to say, making Kyungsoo felt suspicious.

            “What’s wrong?”

            “Soo.. I.. I’m going to go..”

            “No!” Kyungsoo responded quickly as he’s escalating his tone. “Don’t tell me you’ll leave me!”

            Kris shook his head. “I won’t do stupid thing such that. I’m going to go to New York for a month.”

            Kyungsoo felt lurched in his heart. First Suho, and now Kris is going to leave him. They’re only gone for a while indeed, but he still felt shortness inside his chest.

            “Do you really need to go? Is there no one who can replace you?”

            “You know exactly who I am to my company. I’m the right hand of my boss and he’s only trust me. So I have to do this.”

            Kyungsoo bit his lip. “Then how about me?”

            “You have Baekhyun here. He can protect you very well, doesn’t he?” Kris put his arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulders. Warmed up the latter’s body.

            “I don’t want you to go.” Kyungsoo pleading.

            “So do I. But I have to. I promise to call you anytime I can. I promise. You’ll never be alone. The only thing makes you recognize that I’m not around is my absence for a month, that’s all. I will be your company, I’m not letting you alone. I promise.”

            Kris has to plead several times to make Kyungsoo believe him, remind he had made Kyungsoo felt morose when he was in London.

            “Promise me?” Kyungsoo tighten his embrace.

            “I promise..”

            Kyungsoo cried. His tears fell down torrentially. He doesn’t want to feel lost, it’s hurt. Even though just for a while but he hate to be apart. His tears fell even more profusely as he escorted Kris to the airport a week later. Making Kris almost revoked his flight only for calming down his boyfriend.

*

            “Do not ever have a thought to cheat on me there. I’ll notice. The people there wouldn’t hold their desire to accost you, moreover your look is so damn hot!”

            Kris laughed at the grievance and threat of Kyungsoo across. He had never reneged on his promise to keep contacting Kyungsoo. But it seemed that his lover always worry in excessive level so sometimes Kris must to persuade him to trust him.

            “Are you jealous?" Kris asked. He could not help but smile as a warm feeling rose in his heart.

            Instead of answering the question, Kyungsoo precisely asked. "Is there anyone else there? Did you meet someone there? Tell me!”

            Kris pretended to think. "Hm .. If I'm absolutely honest with you, would you be angry?"

            “Do not tempt my patience.”

            Kris burst into a very satisfaction laughter. “Soo.. You know exactly I won’t do that. There’s only you on my mind, no one else.”

            Kyungsoo can felt the warmth scattered on his cheeks. “Alright.. You may back to work. Remember we’re going to do the video call tonight. I love you.”

            “I won’t forget. I love you more, honey. See you tonight..”

            Kris hung up after giving it a peck to the phone as an imaginary Kyungsoo. He walked out from the restroom then continued to reach the elevator. He’s in the hospital for cancer sufferers in New York. He had just given donations which has become an annual schedule from his company to the hospital.

            He walked in to the elevator then pressed the number where the main lobby is located . But when the elevator’s door has opened, he was carried over to the rooftop of the hospital. Someone had pushed the elevator button to head upstairs then after that he can went down to the lobby.

            But instead of heading down, he stepped out to the rooftop. He was quite amazed by the scenery he saw there. That rooftop was not too extensive which adorned by some vines and brightly colored flowers depicting a wonderful summer. Some patients were enjoying the bright air of New York accompanied by family or nurse.

            Kris smiled. Every time he saw flowers, he’ll definitely reckon on Kyungsoo who loves flowers much. He would be amazed by a place which located in a busy city of New York like this. Kris glanced up at the clear sky above. What a wonderful day. If only Kyungsoo was there with him.

“You are not allowed to stay here too long. Remember, I only give you half an hour, no more. You should not be too long outside due to your illness. You have to preserve your condition.” He heard the voice of a young woman speaking in English.

            “Don’t worry. I only want to be alone for a moment, enjoying this wonderful day. I’m bored to death in my room.” A man answered politely. 

            Kris frowned. He seemed to recognize the voice. Without hesitation, he immediately turned to the sound source. Less than five feet, he saw a figure of the man he knew. The handsome man sitting on a wheelchair with a pouch of fluid hanging at his side. The infusion fluid-filled hose stuck in his hand. He looked thinner than the last time Kris met him. His face looked pale and weary.

            “Suho..” Kris wasn’t believe in what he saw that time.

            Suho and the nurse turned. Suho looked astonished for a moment but he mastered himself and smiling quickly. “Halo Kris..”

            The nurse who standing beside him just smiled. “Ah, no wonder you forced me to come here. Apparently your friend is here.”

            Kris and Suho was still staring each other, as if the nurse was not there among them.

            The nurse then spoke. “I'm glad because finally there is someone here to meet Mr. Kim. He always said that he does not have any family or friends and I have never believe him. But now I’m relieved. At least he isn’t really alone now.”

            Kris just realized that the nurse was talking straight to him. He turned and smiled at the young woman's respectfully.

            “I’m Tiffany. Tiffany Hwang. I’m in charge as Mr. Kim’s nurse.”

            Kris came over and extended his hand. “I'm Kris.” He seemed loss of words for a while.

            Tiffany then spoke again. “I’ll leave you two here. You must need more times to chat. Please bring Mr. Kim back to his room after 30 minutes.”

            She patted Suho’s shoulder then stepped away. After she left, Kris and Suho has not spoken until Kris eventually ventured to ask.

            “Don’t tell me that you..”

            “That’s right.” Suho responded quickly. “I am suffering from end-stage of brain cancer which requires me to be hospitalized.”

            Kris’ heart lurched right away. “Is it true? When will you’re allowed to leave this hospital?”

            “You don’t get it, do you? I am suffering of late stage cancer. I’m gonna get the best treatment here and I won’t be permitted to leave this hospital.”

            For some reason, hearing the explanation making Kris’ heart was being kneaded by intangible hands. “So this is the reason why you left?”

            Suho smiled. “That’s right. I had to go because I got a referral to be treated here. I had to resign from my job because I wasn’t allowed to get busy in work. I have to maintain my condition in order to impede the destruction process which can kill me rapidly.”

            Suho fell in silent for a moment then returned to continue. “The doctor said that there is no hope. I’m not be able to recover. All I can do now is to survive longer with the existing treatments.”

            “You can get some surgery and so on. Or chemotherapy. Or.. Listen up, you have to get your healthy back.” Kris said. He knew, he was very jealous on Suho once because of his closeness to Kyungsoo. The hatred has vanished instantly to hear Suho’s confessions.

            Suho shook his head. “Chemotherapy is pointless. I will only increase my pain and aggravate my appearance.”

            Kris loss for words at once. He hated to see Suho when they was in Seoul. But the rancor grew much bigger to see Suho would gave up on his own life.

            “How is Kyungsoo?”

            Kris didn’t say a word. Reluctantly to answer.

            “I should be sorry to him for leaving without saying a proper goodbye. But you know, I could not do it. Just to see him can make my steps felt heavier.”

            “Tell me honestly, do you love him?” Kris asked as he stared straight to Suho.

            Suho squeezed his hands apprehensively. His face exuded a deep sense of guilt. “I'm sorry if I hurt you, Kris. But I have to admit that I love him. The only thing that makes me want to live longer is because of him. But I know for sure, he just loves you. With the existence of this disease, I knew exactly that me and him were not meant to be since the first time.”

            Kris shed tears hearing the recognition of the man who was sitting on a wheelchair in front of him. “If you love him, why did you let him go? As a man you should have to fight for your love!”

            “I always knew that he loves you. I don’t want to be a hindrance of you guys. And if he is with me, it’s gonna hard for me to let him see me like this. Not in this appearance. I prefer to disappear forever from his life. The important thing is, his happiness. Because as long as he is happy, I will also be happy..”

*

P.S : I'm so sorry for the very late post. Hope you all enjoy this :)