2

Waiting to Exhale

The next day he was rushing to get to cafeteria sooner so he can eat properly. He felt so hungry because last night he was up till late so he can concentrate a little on his study. Who was he kidding. He read a lot of pages but now he couldn’t remember. He couldn’t focus at all. Why? He didn’t know himself too. He was stepping outside when he collided with someone.

‘’ow Sungmin hyung why are you in such a hurry?’’

Sungmin blinked and said:’’Ryeowook-ah why are you here? I was going to eat breakfast. Aren’t you too?

Ryeowook smiled and nodded:’’yeah, I wanted to ask you to come have breakfast with me. Come on hyung’’.

Sungmin stared at him confused and said:’’why so suddenly Ryeowook-ah?you are suspicious’’.

Ryeowook pouted and mumbled:’’I just really missed you and I wanted to spend more time with you.you are so cruel hyung!’’

Sungmin patted his shoulder and said:’’alright,alright,come on let’s go.I’m starving,’’

Ryeowook giggled and hugged left arm of Sungmin and began dragging him towards the cafeteria. Sungmin stopped in front of cafeteria and said:’’why here?you know I don’t like eating here.I don’t like someone looking at me while I’m eating and…’’

Ryeowook shook his head and said:’’hyung don’t make excuses.what are you talking about?’’he opened cafeteria’s door and walked to the food line and grabbed two plates for Sungmin and himself and dragged him farther to one of the tables that were occupied.Sungmin stopped in his track and murmured:’’um,Ryeowoo-ah?’’

Ryeowook was showing his sheepish smile:’’hyung,you know all of them.there are Hyukjae hyung and Donghae hyung too.’’

Sungmin gritted his teeth and said:’’yeah I can see that and someone more.Ryeowook I’m not hungry anymore.I’m going to my first class.’’

Ryeowook pouted his lips and said:’’but hyung you said you were starving.I don’t let you go.now sit down.’’he forced Sungmin to sit and sat beside him.Sungmin sighed.he wished he could run away from here.he coukdn’t tolerate the face of Cho guy just in front of him right now.why was life so cruel with him?Hyukjae tapped his shoulder and said:’’good to see you here again.’’

Sungmin rolled his eyes and said:’’Hyuk you see me every day because you are in half of my damn classes and every Saturday andSunday you are dragging me in every party you find.’’

Hyukjae showed his gummy smile and said:’’yeah but I meant right here at teria. You never with us,right Hae?’’Hyukjae turned his head so he could see Donghae but his eyes widened at the sight and he screamed:’’no Hae don’t drink coffee!’’Donghae his lips and put the empty mug on the table:’’Hyukkie it was so delicious!if you don’t drink yours pass it to me!’’Hyukjae pulled his mug to himself and said:’’no way!you ate a lot of sugar and caffeine .how can I stand you when you are so hyper?’’Donghae pouted and whined:’’but Hyukkie…’’Sungmin interrupted them and said:’’okay,that’s enough.Donghae drink water and don’t discuss with me.just drink.’’Donghae pouted more but none the less opened his bottle and took a few gulp immediately.Sungmin was drinking his coffee when he heard Ryeowook’s talking.’’so Kyuhyunnie how was your private class with Sungmin hyung?’’Kyuhyun was looking on his food and murmured:’’not bad,must see what I’ll be doing in my today’s quiz.any way I don’t think it makes any difference.’’Ryeowook patted his hand and said:’’ow!don’t be like this.you are so smart and Sungmin hyung knows how to teach.don’t worry.Kyuhyun scoffed and said:’’what teaching,he was like an audio book.he just skipped some boring lines and added some none sense.’’Sungmin gaped.how dare he!he fisted his hands and turned his head other way.he couldn’t believe this.he helped him a lot and shared his experiences.how could he?he heard Ryeowook said:’’Kyuhyunnie I know you are stressed but don’t talk like this.just thank him and relax.’’Kyuhyun sighed and mumbled a quiet whatever.Sungmin had enough.he stood up and said:’’Hyuk,Donghae come on,we’ll be late.’’they got up and went for P.E class.they let Donghae race with others so he can run out from his hyperness.Sungmin and Hyukjae started running beside each other.Hyukjae asked:’’hyung you were tensed at the table and I felt tension between you and some body.um…was it Kyuhyun?I saw you glaring at him.’’Sungmin sighed and said:’’yeah,he’s an .last night I taught him chemistry.I taught him anything I knew.I mean anything!but that jerk…he said I was just an audio book and taught him none sense.’’

Hyukjae stopped in his track and asked:’’Kyuhyun said those?hyung I can’t believe this.he’s a good guy.he’s sweet and smart.and he teaches his friends anything he could.maybe you heard wrong.I have some classes with him and he’s not like that.’’Sungmin shook his head:I don’t know Hyuk.he was like THAT to me.I hope I would never see him again.forget it.this conversation makes my mood worse.’’Hyukjae nodded and they started running again.

The day passed without anything special.Sungmin was heading to the teria when somebody back hugged him:’’hyung,you didn’t eat your breakfast properly.hurry so you can eat more.’’Sungmin chuckled:’’Ryeowook-ah I thought sugar just effects on Donghae.what’s with you?’’they laughed and entered the teria.Ryeowook dragged him to the table they sat earlier.and with the same people.. Sungmin pulled Ryeowook aside and hushed:’’Ryeowook-ah,do you love the Cho guy?Ryeowook just tell me.you are around him too much.’’Ryeowook widened his eyes and gasped:’’no hyung,it’s not like that at all!he’s just a friend.of course I like him but just as a friend.he’s sweet and that’s it.’’Sungmin tilted his head:’’so why are you like this?you even made him come to me for his studies.you never have done this before.you are so confusing.’’

Ryeowook protested:’’but hyung I’m worried because of you.I did that just for you.because after you becomes friend he can helps you.he is so smart and he CAN helps you.’’

Sungmin interrupter him and said:’’enough!I don’t want it.I don’t want to see him anymore.just stop!’’

Ryeowook pouted:’’but hyung…’’

Sungmin patted his head and said:’’no discussing with me mister.’’

Ryeowook sighed:’’at least let me be with both of you at times like this.you are both my friends.you can just sit here and ignore him.there are your friends,too.’’Sungmin fell on his seat and said:’’I can’t win against you.you are such a headache…and a big one too.’’Ryeowook grinned and sat next to him.Sungmin was eating his lunch but he felt uneasy.because he felt someone was staring at him.he looked up and his gaze locked with Cho guy.he glared hard at him and continued his eating.

’’hyung,hyung’’the hyper ball sat next to him and said:’’hyung,tomorrow night they are throwing party.you must come.I want you to come,okay?’’

Sungmin rolled his eyes and said:’’of course I’m coming.you don’t have to ask.’’Donghae clapped his hands and started laughing and talking to Hyukjae.

Sungmin chuckled and turn to Ryeowook:’’Ryeowook-ah you should come too.it’s going to be so much fun.’’Ryeowook smiled shyly and said:’’but hyung I’m not invited.’’Sungmin hit Ryeowook’s head playfully and said:’’it’s an open party for anyone silly.you said you want spend more time with me.so here it is.’’

Ryeowook looked at him with surprised eyes and said:’’I’d love to.thank you for taking me with you.’’

Sungmin laughed and patted his shoulder and said:’’any time Ryeowook-ah,any time.I’d like to spend time with my friends even then can be really strange.’’he turned to look at Donghae who was now blowing hard with his straw on his drink.he shook his head and said:’’okay,mostly.’’

He again felt the stare.he looked again at Cho guy and tried to challenge him with staring back.but really it felt so uncomfortable.it was like the Cho guy was looking through his mind.he cocked one eyebrow and stared hard in the Cho guy’s eyes.the Cho guy shook his head and turned to eat more.

Sungmin could see a faint smile on his lips.

 

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Forest_pixi
#1
Chapter 8: ok...where to begin...hmmmm

1. I think you should look into getting a beta reader to help correct and thereby improve your English. If you find a really good one you could work on expressing yourself better in terms of sentence structure, word choice, etc. ^^

2. Punctuation and Grammar. Use capital letters for the beginning of sentences. Separate individual speech during dialogue. It's not correct to write like this:

ex. SungMin said: "Hi....".

Rather you should try:

ex. "Hi...". SungMin said.

3. Formatting. Space out the text. Make use of paragraphing. Double space after a fullstop. Single space after every other type of punctuation mark. It makes reading easier.

4. Title and Summary. The title and summary don't match with the fic but as you said the fic didn't turn out the way you wanted.

5. Plot and characters. Spend some time working out the timeline, the events you want to occur, the reasons, etc. Build up your characters and make them fit into the story as opposed to just throwing them in. For example, I couldn't understand Min's character here. Why was he so abrasive, sad, opposed to making new friends, etc.?
Define the main character(s). If you can't commit to making a large number of characters an integral part of the story, choose two and make the rest side characters.

Also work on details. Describe the scenery, the character, the music, etc. so that you fic is more interesting. That's all I can think of right now.

What I liked? The idea that your going for and that you didn't indulge in POV switching.

Good luck in your other fics. Happy writing^^
chiaraa
#2
Chapter 4: I think kyu insisted to stay not just because wook but because min.
Kyu actually jelly to min wook closeness~
Poko24Makashi
#3
Chapter 3: Oh my! XD Here comes trouble! (Lol) Ryewook is drunk?! :OO I wanna see what'll happen in the chapter, he's probably going to have a terrible hangover! T.T Poor wookie~ but he's still adorable when he's drunk xD Update soon!
chiaraa
#4
Chapter 3: woah~ min and wook really cuties~~
Poko24Makashi
#5
Chapter 2: Ahh what's this? xD Kyuhyun smiled at the end, what does this mean? >:DD Lol our cutie, hyper Donghae had too much sugar and coffee xD Ohh~ I wonder what'll happen at the party :D Can't wait for your next update ^^
Poko24Makashi
#6
Chapter 1: This is seems really interesting ^^ I thought Kyuhyun would be nice...but he acts like a jerk! D:< Lol Sungmin how are you going to live ^^; I hope you update again soon :)))