7

Waiting to Exhale

They walked in silence. Sometimes they stole a glance but other way nothing. Suddenly. Kyuhyun stopped and turned to face Sungmin. He opened his mouth but nothing came out.he looked at his feet awkwardly.Sungmin rolled his eyes and said: "if you want say something spill! I don't have time to play with you and I don't like it anyway …" he didn't finish his sentence because the way Kyuhyun was looking at him made him stop.he thought he saw a flash of hurt in the younger 's eyes but who was he kidding? this arrogant didn't know the meaning of hurt.he just gave it to the others. Kyuhyun said:"why do you hate me?I didn't …" Sungmin scoffed and said: "come on Cho!you're pulling my leg,right?you ask why?why?!because of Wookie I accept to help you and I did my best but what did you do?you just were like a cocky bastard and …" Kyuhyun didn't let him finish and said: "alright, alright, I'm sorry!I didn't mean to offend you.I was just confused. Let me another chance…" Sungmin glared at him with unbelief and said: "what are you talking about? ? confused my !the I give you a chance!a chance for what?!for making me a fool and laugh?" Kyuhyun shook his head:"hyung I'm sorry!just let me make it better! I promise I make it up to you.just a chance."he was pleading and Sungmin could see he was honest. The eyes show every emotion right in them.he sighed:"what do you want?" A glint passed through Kyuhyun eyes and he said excitedly:"I, um, want to continue my chemistry sessions with you and spend a lot of time with you and be friend with you and…" Sungmin chuckled and said:"wow,wow,slow down.why all of a sudden?you said I didn't teach you anything and I make you sick.what 's with the change of heart?" Kyuhyun shook his head and hands and said:"hyung! I said I'm sorry!please,please,let me …" Sungmin stared at him for a moment and said: "alright, but I know I'll regret this but OK. Kyuhyun grinned shipishly and said: "so friends?! " Sungmin smiled:"friends " And they shook hands. Kyuhyun said: "you know you are not that bad,I think I can tolerate you" Sungmin looked at him confusedly but Kyuhyun laughed:"just kidding hyung, just kidding. " Sungmin shook his head and smiled:"I thinking need time to feel comfortable with this side of you." Kyuhyun agreed:"but eventually you will." Sungmin smiled:"I hope" Kyuhyun smiled: "hyung buy me ice cream!" Sungmin looked skeptically at him:"why should I?" kyuhyun shrugged: "for being friends! It's a small party between us." Sungmin shrugged also: "you wanted to be friends so you are the one who should buy it" Kyuhyun shook his head:"you are the hyung, beside you know you liked the idea" Sungmin smiled:"you brat!OK let's go eat some ice cream" Kyuhyun fist his hands: "yay! you're the best hyung ever!I want chocolate, vanilla, mint,coffee, butter, green apple,…" Sungmin eyes widened:"what the he'll?you can have just one flavor. " Justin whinnied: "but I want all of them!hyung,please?please? " Sungmin shook his head and laugh:"alright you childish baby. Let's go have some fun." Kyuhyun laughed and shouted: "you know you're the best!right? "and skipped to the teria 's way. Sungmin stood on his place and looked at him with smile.sometimes something happens in your life that make you shock and confused. But a little change is very appreciated.he shook his head and run after Kyuhyun.

 

 

 

Hi,every one.sorry for another late update.you know this fic is not going anywhere and truth be told I don't have any motivation to it.so the next post should be the last otherwise I have some comments or by any chance subscribe. Thank you for staying with this story. Wish you the best.merry Christmas and happy new year.will be totally glad if you say what do you think and suggest anything. Good luck

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Forest_pixi
#1
Chapter 8: ok...where to begin...hmmmm

1. I think you should look into getting a beta reader to help correct and thereby improve your English. If you find a really good one you could work on expressing yourself better in terms of sentence structure, word choice, etc. ^^

2. Punctuation and Grammar. Use capital letters for the beginning of sentences. Separate individual speech during dialogue. It's not correct to write like this:

ex. SungMin said: "Hi....".

Rather you should try:

ex. "Hi...". SungMin said.

3. Formatting. Space out the text. Make use of paragraphing. Double space after a fullstop. Single space after every other type of punctuation mark. It makes reading easier.

4. Title and Summary. The title and summary don't match with the fic but as you said the fic didn't turn out the way you wanted.

5. Plot and characters. Spend some time working out the timeline, the events you want to occur, the reasons, etc. Build up your characters and make them fit into the story as opposed to just throwing them in. For example, I couldn't understand Min's character here. Why was he so abrasive, sad, opposed to making new friends, etc.?
Define the main character(s). If you can't commit to making a large number of characters an integral part of the story, choose two and make the rest side characters.

Also work on details. Describe the scenery, the character, the music, etc. so that you fic is more interesting. That's all I can think of right now.

What I liked? The idea that your going for and that you didn't indulge in POV switching.

Good luck in your other fics. Happy writing^^
chiaraa
#2
Chapter 4: I think kyu insisted to stay not just because wook but because min.
Kyu actually jelly to min wook closeness~
Poko24Makashi
#3
Chapter 3: Oh my! XD Here comes trouble! (Lol) Ryewook is drunk?! :OO I wanna see what'll happen in the chapter, he's probably going to have a terrible hangover! T.T Poor wookie~ but he's still adorable when he's drunk xD Update soon!
chiaraa
#4
Chapter 3: woah~ min and wook really cuties~~
Poko24Makashi
#5
Chapter 2: Ahh what's this? xD Kyuhyun smiled at the end, what does this mean? >:DD Lol our cutie, hyper Donghae had too much sugar and coffee xD Ohh~ I wonder what'll happen at the party :D Can't wait for your next update ^^
Poko24Makashi
#6
Chapter 1: This is seems really interesting ^^ I thought Kyuhyun would be nice...but he acts like a jerk! D:< Lol Sungmin how are you going to live ^^; I hope you update again soon :)))