3

Waiting to Exhale

‘’Wookie,it looks good on you.’’

Ryeowook sighed and turned back from mirror so he could see Sungmin directly.

‘’hyung you said this line anything that I wore.you’re not helping at all!’’

Sungmin shrugged:’’but they are all good.you’re acting like a teenage girl.it’s just a party!’’

Ryeowook whined:’’but you look so perfect!I don’t want you be ashamed of me in front of the others!’’

Sungmin got up and helped him with force to put on the shirt and said:’’for God’s sake Ryeowook-ah!what the hell are you talking about?’’he quickly put some gel on Ryeowook’s hair and used some eye liner.he turned Ryeowook to look at himself in the mirror and sai:’’see?you look amazing.now be a good boy and don’t nag anymore.come on let’s go.’’

Ryeowook grabbed Sungmin’s hand.he was looking at his shoes:’’but hyung…I…I really feel anxious!are there…are there anything strange?’’Sungmin could see how worried Ryeowook was.it seemed like any moment he would throw up.he was shaking slightly.so he hugged Ryeowook and patted his back:’’no Wookie.it’s just our schoolmates there and I’m there with you.don’t worry.just have a lot of fun tonight,okay?’’he let Ryeowook out of his arms and pulled him towards the door.their destination wasn’t far from their dorm.

Soon they were enjoying themselves and had fun.Sungmin was joining groups of people he knew and they were either talking or dancing.after dancing to upbeat songs for a while he felt a little tired and thirsty so he decided to go to the place that was made for using as a mini bar.he grabbed a coke and took a few sips.he was enjoying his drink when he felt some body was standing too closely to him.he turned around and was greeted by a full smile.

‘’I’m happy to see you came,but I’m not surprised.’’

Sungmin nodded:’’yeah,I won’t miss your parties Heechul hyung.they are really fun although a little bit strange.’’

Heechul laughed:’’yeah,yeah,whatever.it’s just a party so everyone can feel free and do anything they want.so,you too,enjoy yourself.’’he pushed a glass of beer to Sungmin and winked.Sungmin shook his head:’’thanks hyung but I’m not in the mood to drink this.I can enjoy the party tonight without this too.I don’t to feel sick again when I wake up tomorrow.’’

Heechul shook his hand dismissively and said:’’I don’t care honey.as you wish.I gotta go now.see you around.’’he took another glass of beer and disappeared in to the crowd.

He really liked going to the parties.music,dance,excitement;he liked them and the best thing was he was not alone.lately he couldn’t tolerate himself anymore.lately he was just thinking.thinking about nothing and everything and it really frustrated him.if he could talk with someone…but he was not the type who pours his feelings out and shares his thoughts with the others.he didn’t know what to do anymore.he sighed deeply and took some big gulps of the beer.he cringed at the taste;but well he needed some distraction.he took his glass and turned around to watch the others.his head and foot was shaking with rhythm to the music and he was humming then sipped his drink again.someone threw an arm around his neck:’’hyung,you came!I missed you.come on!come dance with me.’’

Another person came and pulled Sungmin away and said:’’Hae,don’t be like this.ask nicely and see if he wants then go and dance with him.’’

Donghae whined:’’but Hyukkie I AM nice!hyung pretty please come and dance with me?see Hyukkie I asked nicely.right hyung?’’

Sungmin chuckled and let Donghae drag him to the dancing floor.three of them danced with each other and even made some moves by themselves.after a little they gathered a big crowd around them.they knw how to mimic each other and doing it great.

It was after another five songs that Sungmin felt thirsty and went to drink water.Donghae and Hyukjae followed him.Donghae was planning for more dancing and suggesting what they should do when a guy approached them.he smiled shyly and said:’’Sungmin hyung,I came…I came to ask y-you if you can b-be my d-date t-tonight and…wecanspendnighttogether?’’

His cheeks were burning and his head was hanging low.

Sungmin giggled and said:’’but cutie I have someone with me tonight,I’m sorry but I’m sure you can find a person better than me.’’

The guy asked with widened eyes:’’does…does that mean you have boy friend,hyung?’’

Sungmin smiled and shook his head:’’no,I’m not interested in these relationships.this is why I said you can find a better guy other than me.’’

When he saw the guy was going to protest he added:’’and I’m not going for one night stands.’’

The guy nodded his head in understanding and turned back to where he was before.Sungmin sighed and grabbed a glass of beer again.it seemed he really needed that drink this night.

After two gulps Hyukjae took away his glass and said:’’I can understand if you don’t want spend your time with that guy but why did you lie?’’

Sungmin frowned in confusion and asked:’’when did I lie?’’

Hyukjae coked his eyebrows and said:’’really hyung?who came with you then? obviously it’s not me or Hae and I can’t see anyone else beside you except me and Hae.’’

He turned to show his point but forced to grab Donghae’s hand and push him away immediately.he hissed angrily:’’Hea you promised you won’t drink coke anymore.’’

Donghae pouted and said:’’I’m sorry but Hyukkie every time I drink it you pay attention to me more and I really really really like it.’’

Hyukjae softened his face and showed his gummy smile:’’Hae I always pay attention to you.don’t do stupid things like this.just give me a little time to talk with Sungmin hyung,ok?’’

Donghae smiled and nodded.Hyukjae turned to Sungmin again and asked:’’so why did you lie about bringing somebody?’’

Sungmin rolled his eyes and asked with a little irritation:’’what are you talking about?I did bring Ryeowwok with me and he is…!where is he?’’

Hyukjae put his hands on his waists and said:’’obviousely not here.go and find him before something happens to him.’’

Sungmin hurriedly went to the crowd and searched for the missing guy.he wasn’t on dance floor and he wasn’t in any group of chatting people.he fished out his phone and tried to call him but he wasn’t answering.Sungmin felt really worried.he went to the other part of the room still trying to call Ryeowook.he was looking around when he heard someone was calling him.he turned to the voice and saw Ryeowook sitting on a chair and was waving to him.Sungmin ran to him and kneeled in front of him.

He put his hands on Ryeowook’s knees and said:’’Wookie I’m really sorry!I didn’t mean to leave you or ignore you.I just forgot you were here too.I’m so sorry!’’

Ryeowook giggled:’’hyung can you please say my name agaian?’’

Sungmin looked at him confusedly and said:’’um…Ryeowook-ah?is everything okay?’’

Ryeowook pouted and whined:’’no hyung!don’t call me Ryeowook-ah!’’

Sungmin was more confused:’’so what should I call you then?’’

Ryeowook grinned and said excitedly:’’call me Wookie.I really love it when you call me Wookie.we are best friends,right?so call me Wookie!or I won’t be friend with you anymore.’’

He leaned back and crossed his arms.

Sungmin cupped Ryeowook’s head in to his hands and asked:’’Wookie what’s wrong with you?’’

Ryeowook smiled shyly and said:’’nothing. Hyung did you know you are so beautiful?specially when you are this much near.’’he giggled again and took Sungmin’s head in his hands too.something indeed was wrong.Sungmin looked around and saw an empty bottle of beer.his eyes got widened and he asked hurriedly:’’Wookie  did you drink that bottle?’’

Ryeowook turned around and saw the bottle on the table and nodded:’’yeah and it tasted weird hyung!it burned my tongue and throat ,so after that I took a glass.it had blue liquid.hyung it was delicious!I want more.’’he wanted to get up but Sungmin pushed him down and asked:’’do you feel weird now?’’

Ryeowook put a finger on his lips and said:’’a while ago under me was vibrating,it was really funny but now…’’he suddenly pushed Sungmin away and grabbed  a glass of some kind of martiny from a guy and downed it in one gulp.Sungmin immediately got up and took empty glass away and said:’’Wookie don’t drink anymore!’’

Ryeowook pouted:’’but hyung they are so delicious!do you want some?come on,let me bring us some.’’

Sungmin grabbed his wrist and dragged him to the door.’’no Wookie.that’s enough.let’s go to your room.the party is over.’’

Ryeowook protested and tried to free his hand:’’but huyng the party is not over yet and I want to have fun!’’

Sungmin dragged him harder and said:’’if you come with me I let you have more fun.I have plans for you,just come with me.’’

Ryeowook smiled:’’with you?hyung you want to have fun with me?’’

Sungmin smiled and said:’’yeah,of course.’’

Ryeowook giggled:’’are there any blue drinkie too?I love them!’’

Sungmin put an arm around his waist and nodded:’’sure you do.anything you want.’’

Ryeowook circled his hands around Sungmin’s neck and squeaked:’’so what are you waiting for?let’s go!’’

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi everyone.I just came to say I really appreciate if you comment and say what do you think about this story.with some of you help I want to get better and write a story that you like.thank tou so much

 

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Forest_pixi
#1
Chapter 8: ok...where to begin...hmmmm

1. I think you should look into getting a beta reader to help correct and thereby improve your English. If you find a really good one you could work on expressing yourself better in terms of sentence structure, word choice, etc. ^^

2. Punctuation and Grammar. Use capital letters for the beginning of sentences. Separate individual speech during dialogue. It's not correct to write like this:

ex. SungMin said: "Hi....".

Rather you should try:

ex. "Hi...". SungMin said.

3. Formatting. Space out the text. Make use of paragraphing. Double space after a fullstop. Single space after every other type of punctuation mark. It makes reading easier.

4. Title and Summary. The title and summary don't match with the fic but as you said the fic didn't turn out the way you wanted.

5. Plot and characters. Spend some time working out the timeline, the events you want to occur, the reasons, etc. Build up your characters and make them fit into the story as opposed to just throwing them in. For example, I couldn't understand Min's character here. Why was he so abrasive, sad, opposed to making new friends, etc.?
Define the main character(s). If you can't commit to making a large number of characters an integral part of the story, choose two and make the rest side characters.

Also work on details. Describe the scenery, the character, the music, etc. so that you fic is more interesting. That's all I can think of right now.

What I liked? The idea that your going for and that you didn't indulge in POV switching.

Good luck in your other fics. Happy writing^^
chiaraa
#2
Chapter 4: I think kyu insisted to stay not just because wook but because min.
Kyu actually jelly to min wook closeness~
Poko24Makashi
#3
Chapter 3: Oh my! XD Here comes trouble! (Lol) Ryewook is drunk?! :OO I wanna see what'll happen in the chapter, he's probably going to have a terrible hangover! T.T Poor wookie~ but he's still adorable when he's drunk xD Update soon!
chiaraa
#4
Chapter 3: woah~ min and wook really cuties~~
Poko24Makashi
#5
Chapter 2: Ahh what's this? xD Kyuhyun smiled at the end, what does this mean? >:DD Lol our cutie, hyper Donghae had too much sugar and coffee xD Ohh~ I wonder what'll happen at the party :D Can't wait for your next update ^^
Poko24Makashi
#6
Chapter 1: This is seems really interesting ^^ I thought Kyuhyun would be nice...but he acts like a jerk! D:< Lol Sungmin how are you going to live ^^; I hope you update again soon :)))