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Waiting to Exhale

Head phone in his ears,a bottle of water in his hand,thinking hard about himself and his life.he was confused;so much confused.what was he doing?what was that he wanted from his life?why was he angry and upset?he was thinking hard again but he couldn’t find any answers.

He stirred the bottle and took a gulp.he sighed.he was tired.tired with this life.tired of himself.tired of thinking.

He closed his eyes and tried not to think but someone patted his shoulder and he reopened his eyes.

Sungmin sighed and said:’’what’s wrong this time,Ryeowook-ah?why don’t you leave me alone for a second?’’

Ryeowook smiled and sat in front of him.’’hyung,just listen and then you can say no,you know?about this friend of mine that I told you before;you see he is a genius and  he tops all of his classes,but because he has a lot to study he can’t concentrate on his chemistry and chemistry is piece of cake for you.please help him and then you can be friend and he can help you by your studies and…

Sungmin shook his head and interrupted him:’’no Ryeowook-ah,no.you said yourself that he is genius,so he can handle it and I don’t want any friend cause like now I’m doing good!’’

Ryeowook widened his eyes and stuttered:’’you mean…you mean you don’t know me as a friend?hyung it hurts!it hurts so much when I know you as my best friend!’’

Sungmin rolled his eyes and said:’’don’t exaggerate you brat!you know I didn’t mean you,but I don’t have so much time to help somebody else while I’m lacking in my studiesHead phone in his ears,a bottle of water in his hand,nd that’ll be fine.’’

Ryeowook shook his head and said:’’it will not be fine!your’e in one of the best high schools of this country if not the best!and just because you are so lazy you don’t want to study.if you don’t study you can’t go to a great college and university and you won’t have a good job.so think about it again.you’ll help him with chemistry and he’ll help you with your study and you two will be fine!say yes hyung,say yes!’’

Sungmin rubbed his temples and said:’’fine!just shut up!you’re giving me headache.’’he took a few gulp from his bottle and said:’’I agree but he shouldn’t disturb me so much and when he learned he should just go and I expect him when I teach him he learn immediately and his grade must be atleast B.alright?''

Ryeowook hugged him so tight and said:''hyung you are the best!thank you.so I'll tell him he can come to your room this afternoon.''he got up and ran away.

Sungmin blinked in surprised and said:''but today...ugh!he shook his head.he'll never understand Ryeowook.was he in love with that guy that he was so happy?was he his boy friend?but as he knows Ryeowook if something happen he will be the first one to know because as the guy himself insists he is his best friend and Ryeowook tells him everything.so again what's wrong with this guy?he got up and placed his forgotten head phone and phone in his bag.he looked at his watch,it was near four.wait!didn't Ryeowook told him that the guy will be in his room this afternoon?!he cursed under his lips and rushed to his room.knowing Ryeowook the guy must be waiting now infront of his door and one thing he hates the most,is to be late.he began running towards dormitory.

When he arrived at his door he was panting hard but nontheless he was happy;no one was there yet.he unlocked the door and went inside.so what should he do?right,finding his notes.he didn't like cleaning so everything was a mess.anything except chemistry notes and music shelves.he looked around and sighed.the room wa like it has been exploded.he began clean his room.any moment the guy can arrive.he was busy to set the chemistry notes on the desk when he heard some one's knocking.he looked at his watch.it was 4:30.he opened the door and a guy taller than him was there.he hasn't seen him before.the guy cleared his throut and said:''you must be Sungmin.I'm Cho Kyuhyun.Ryeowook hyung said I can meet you here.he passed Sungmin and went in.Sungmin blinked.what the hell?he seems...rude?great,just great.if there is some one he can't tollerate is a person who is rude and full of himself and the Cho guy showed himself like this.

Can this day get any better?he sighed and cloced the door.he went and sat behind the desk and said:''right,so let's start.I heard that you are so smart and you top your classes.so what's your problem with chemistry?

The guy stared at him blankely and after two silent minutes he opened his lips:''my problem...is apparantely I can't solve questions right.eventhough I really try and study I can't do them.he glared at note books like if he was trying to burn them with his gaze.

Sungmin shook his head and said:''you don't like chemistry;do you?''

Kyuhyun glared at him and said:''why does it matter?I'm not here to talk to you about my favorite subject or the one I don't like.I'm here so that I can learn how to answer those damn questions.''

Wow!so the  guy had a sharp tongue,too.it seems the more Sungmin learns about this guy the more he dislikes him.he couldn't stand his attitude.so why not begin sooner so he can get rid of him earlier?he nodded to himself and started teaching.

The guy was a good listener and he learned so fast.Sungmin shared his ways of answering to questions and after a few more examples the guy could solve them without any difficlty.Sungmin closed his note book and said:''I think that's enough.you can go now but remeber to practice so you don't forget.''

Kyuhyun rolled his eyes and got up from his seat and said:''who do you think you're talking to?an elementry student?I know what to do!''and he went out and slammed the door.

Sungmin cursed and fell to his seat.he actually didn't dislike the guy,he hated him.

he wished he would never meet him again.
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Forest_pixi
#1
Chapter 8: ok...where to begin...hmmmm

1. I think you should look into getting a beta reader to help correct and thereby improve your English. If you find a really good one you could work on expressing yourself better in terms of sentence structure, word choice, etc. ^^

2. Punctuation and Grammar. Use capital letters for the beginning of sentences. Separate individual speech during dialogue. It's not correct to write like this:

ex. SungMin said: "Hi....".

Rather you should try:

ex. "Hi...". SungMin said.

3. Formatting. Space out the text. Make use of paragraphing. Double space after a fullstop. Single space after every other type of punctuation mark. It makes reading easier.

4. Title and Summary. The title and summary don't match with the fic but as you said the fic didn't turn out the way you wanted.

5. Plot and characters. Spend some time working out the timeline, the events you want to occur, the reasons, etc. Build up your characters and make them fit into the story as opposed to just throwing them in. For example, I couldn't understand Min's character here. Why was he so abrasive, sad, opposed to making new friends, etc.?
Define the main character(s). If you can't commit to making a large number of characters an integral part of the story, choose two and make the rest side characters.

Also work on details. Describe the scenery, the character, the music, etc. so that you fic is more interesting. That's all I can think of right now.

What I liked? The idea that your going for and that you didn't indulge in POV switching.

Good luck in your other fics. Happy writing^^
chiaraa
#2
Chapter 4: I think kyu insisted to stay not just because wook but because min.
Kyu actually jelly to min wook closeness~
Poko24Makashi
#3
Chapter 3: Oh my! XD Here comes trouble! (Lol) Ryewook is drunk?! :OO I wanna see what'll happen in the chapter, he's probably going to have a terrible hangover! T.T Poor wookie~ but he's still adorable when he's drunk xD Update soon!
chiaraa
#4
Chapter 3: woah~ min and wook really cuties~~
Poko24Makashi
#5
Chapter 2: Ahh what's this? xD Kyuhyun smiled at the end, what does this mean? >:DD Lol our cutie, hyper Donghae had too much sugar and coffee xD Ohh~ I wonder what'll happen at the party :D Can't wait for your next update ^^
Poko24Makashi
#6
Chapter 1: This is seems really interesting ^^ I thought Kyuhyun would be nice...but he acts like a jerk! D:< Lol Sungmin how are you going to live ^^; I hope you update again soon :)))