He wanted to cry because of the joy he felt. His little world was stopped spinning around as he heard the answer from his ex lover. No. He’s lover again. He wanted to jump and shouts how happy he was. Finally, Sungmin can cure the pain from his heart; he can pull the knife from his heart. Words are not enough to describe how happy he was.

But he heard was right? Or he hadn’t heard him clearly? Because when Kyuhyun stepped closer to him, all he can hear was the beating fast louder of his heart. He wanted to hear it again. Just to make sure Kyuhyun was agreed to be his lover again.

“Wh-what?” Sungmin whispered. The tears are forming on his corner eyes.

“I said, I want to be your boyfriend ag---” Kyuhyun was cut off because Sungmin immediately hug him and buried his face on his neck. Kyuhyun’s smell was still the same before, as Sungmin’s remember. Kyuhyun’s smell is lemon, pure lemon scent, he missed the smell of Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun missed Sungmin’s hug. He, too, his little world was stopped spinning. He felt the warm of Sungmin’s body. He froze up, he didn’t know if he will hug Sungmin back. But he felt Sungmin is sobbing under his neck.

“H-hey,” he tapped the back of Sungmin almost looked like hugging him back. “D-did I said something wrong?” he asked as he rubbing the back of Sungmin.

“N-no.” Sungmin answered between his sobs. “I-I’m happy because you still want me to be your boyfriend.” Sungmin continued, still hugging Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun didn’t know what to feel, if happy because Sungmin still want him, or not to trust him because he didn’t know if Sungmin was saying the truth.

“But it doesn’t mean you can hug me now no matter how you want.” Kyuhyun said holding Sungmin’s shoulder and pull him away from his body to look at Sungmin’s eyes. He felt a pang on his chest as he saw the red-puffy eyes of Sungmin. He hates seeing Sungmin’s crying. He wants Sungmin being cheerful and joyful.

Sungmin eagerly took stepped back and scratched his nose and bowed his head, “I-I’m sorry... Kyu.”

Kyu. That nickname, only Sungmin called him that. Only him. How he missed to hear that from Sungmin’s lips? Almost 1 year and 7 months since he heard that nickname, but, instead of happy he should felt, he felt pain. He doesn’t want to hear that stupid nickname. That nickname was part of the painful of his past.

“Don’t say again the nickname you usually calling to me.” Kyuhyun said in cold voice and looked away from Sungmin. Because if he still staring at Sungmin, maybe he will lost the control of himself and the next thing he will do is, his lips was connected to Sungmin’s.

“I-I’m sorry again,” Sungmin muttered. The happy he felt earlier was suddenly gone. Kyuhyun doesn’t want to hear the nickname he gave? Why? He thought, Kyuhyun will happy if he heard the nickname he usually loves to hear, but no, Kyuhyun felt unhappy when he says the nickname.

“And now we’re boyfriend. I have one question. Just answer it.” Kyuhyun started.

This Sungmin hated the most was Kyuhyun asking him. He knew that Kyuhyun will ask him why he left him. He is not yet ready to answer him. He have an own reason.

“S-sure. Ask me.” Sungmin said in trembling voice hoping what he thinks was wrong.

“Why did you ask me to be your boyfriend?” Kyuhyun asked straightforwardly, not even thinking twice.

Sungmin sighed in relief, he rubbed his eyes to fade away the tears and he faced Kyuhyun with a smile, “B-because, I want you.”

Because I want you.

Really stupid answer. Kyuhyun really doesn’t know if he should really trust Sungmin all this time. He wanted him? But why he left him? Why Sungmin didn’t take him a chance to know what is the problem between them and why he suddenly left him behind? Why?! After all, he couldn’t find the answer his own question because Sungmin was only one who can answer him to his own questions.

“Is that all? You want me? For what?! To hurt me again?!” Kyuhyun asked in angry voice make Sungmin flinched on his tone.

“N-no.” Sungmin bowed while shaking his head, tears coming out from the corner of his eyes again, he didn’t mean that. To hurt Kyuhyun again was not in his plans. “I-it’s not that Kyu. I---”

“I said don’t say the nickname to me!!!” Kyuhyun cuts Sungmin off, his eyes were angry as he looking at Sungmin.

Sungmin looked up, his tears were trickled down on his eyes, sobbing, “I-I’m sorry. Please. Believe me Kyuhyun. I s-still want you and I-I still l-love you.” he whispered the last four words.

Kyuhyun froze up. I still love you, he should believe those words or not? No. He should not! Because Sungmin left him before, the marks left by Sungmin to him was pain.

Sungmin still looking at Kyuhyun, his tears are still flowing down on his cheeks. “I know. You don’t want to believe what I’ve said. I can’t force you to believe it Kyuhyun. I know it’s my fault. It’s my entirely fault.” he sobbed while took Kyuhyun’s arm and continued, “Just please Kyuhyun... Please, believe me, just this time, give me one chance to prove that, that I still love you.” with that, he released his hands to Kyuhyun’s and cupped Kyuhyun’s face both of his hand and kissed Kyuhyun’s lips.

Kyuhyun froze up again. Sungmin touched his lips with his lips. He missed the kiss, the sweet kiss from Sungmin, but this time, the kiss was mixed. The taste of their kiss was sweet and salty because of the tears coming out from Sungmin’s eyes. The kiss was simple, they didn’t use their tongue or teeth. It’s just ordinary kiss. As they pulled apart, Sungmin run off, he covered his mouth with the back of his hands to prevent the sobs.



Kyuhyun can still feel the lingered of kiss with Sungmin. The sweet and salty of their shared kiss. He touched his lips while he was lying on his bed; his left hand was under his head and recall what happened earlier between them. He missed so much the kiss, after 1 year and 7 months, he finally tasted again the kiss. But, is that enough to trust again Sungmin what he said earlier?

I still want you and I still love you.

Those words were echoing on his mind. He rolled off. If he can read Sungmin’s mind, if Sungmin was saying the truth, he will forgive Sungmin and start a new life with him, with happy memory.

‘Sungmin. Why are you doing these to me?’  He told to himself. ‘Should I believe you or should not? Please, tell