“I’m the reason why she’s like that” Yonghwa said, feeling tired of everything

========================

“Wake up sleepy head!!” The blinding light assaulted his eyes, the hangover from yesterday kills him.

“Ugh! Oppa! You seriously don’t smell good! Wake up!!! It’s already 3pm! And we need to be there at 6pm! YAH! JUNG YONG HWA-OPPA! IREONA!” Krystal shouted loudly

“AISH!” he sat up, shielding his face from the blinding sunlight

“God you look horrible!”

“No need to rub it in my face” he grumbled and stood up

It was 30 minutes before 6, He just finished fixing himself when Krystal knocked for the nth time

“Hurry up grumpy ahjussi!!”

“YAH! No need to-“ his words was cut off when he saw the Angel Pendant that was once dear to him and his Yeoja

“Oh this? Are you going to take it back? Andwae!” Krystal pouted

Exactly 6pm when they arrived at the venue, the attendees gathered outside to do the traditional ribbon cutting, they were at the back waiting for the ribbon to be cut

Who’s the girl beside hyun-joong Oppa? She looks stunning! They look good together!

Maybe she’s the rumored fiancée?

Jinjja?! What a gorgeous pair!

I envy them both

“Mwoya. I knew it. He’s already engaged!” said the girl beside him who keeps on fuming about it

“Yah Krys! Tone down your voice!” he nudged him

  “Aish! Mwolla!”

Then they heard the clapping, indicating that the ribbon cutting ceremony was done. They emerged from the entrance hall, the lobby was extravagant, a luxurious hotel indeed. He decided to experience staying here one time.

“Oppa! Enjoy okay? I’ll go find him now” Krystal waved at him excitedly before sprinting out to the owner’s direction.

“Pabo Jung” he shook his head and turn around only to be clashed with a girl

“Aaah!” He quickly wrapped his arms around her tiny waist, then he felt something, this was all too familiar

Then his speculation was confirmed when she looked up. The warm brown eyes clashed in his, those gaze he knew too well.

She quickly pulled herself away from his grasp, she nodded slightly and turned away, straight to the guy’s waiting ar-

His eyes widen as he recognize the guy, it was the owner of this hotel. His stomach began to twist in a painful knot, his brain went blank, beads of sweat forming on his forehead, as he recall the gossiping conversation he heard awhile ago at the opening.

Who’s the girl beside hyun-joong Oppa? She looks stunning! They look good together!

Maybe she’s the rumored fiancée?

Jinjja?! What a gorgeous pair!

I envy them both

She’s Kim Hyun Joong’s fiancée? His vision blurring, his world spinning, he saw a waiter holding a whiskey and decided to grab it, he drank it with one go, enjoying the bitterness of it.

He was following the “couple” as they entertained their guests. He was just sitting at the corner, away from her.

It was past 9pm when Krystal came to him, alarmed.

“Wae?” he asked in a monotone voice

“Oppa! I really really really need your help” she said helplessly

“what is it?”

“Luna called me awhile ago, she said she forgot to tell me that she’s supposed to perform today, she’s the entertainer they hired, as a token of appreciation for Hyun Joong-ssi to accept her interview she decided to offer her service for free. But then.”

Someone called Krystal, making Krystal flinched.

“Oppa please. You promised me right? This is the last time I’ll bother you” She looked at him with pleading eyes

“Ahrasseo”

He walked up on stage. Thankful for the few whiskeys he drank he doesn’t feel nervous at all.

“Annyeong Haseyo Jung Yong Hwa-imnida” he introduced himself infront of the attendees, looking at him with much interest.

“Please enjoy the rest of the night” His gaze fixed to the warm brown chocolate he loved. Their table was located in front of the stage. She was seated in front of him.

“Please feel free to dance if you want too” He saw her talking to Kim Hyun Joong comfortably, like the way they used to talk, whispering in each other’s ears, laughing at their private joke, inshort, being in their own world.

He died a hundred times that night

It will be the last heartache Jung Yong Hwa. Bear with it He said to himself, calming him down.

He saw them stood up and is now heading to the dance floor, getting ready. He stood up from his seat and picked up the guitar provided for him.

(PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LISTEN TO THE SONGS LINKED WHILE READING IT AHRASSEO? IT'S EFFECTIVE TRUST ME :))

(Play the song: When I was your man)

(BOLD LETTERS=LYRICS.NORMAL LETTERS=NARRATION.ITALIC=THOUGHTS)

Same bed, but it feels just a little bit bigger now
Our song on the radio, but it don't sound the same

He saw his arm s around Seohyun’s tiny waist

When our friends talk about you all that it does is just tear me down

Seohyun looked at him

Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name
And it all just sound like uh, uh, uh

And then she leaned on his chest with eyes close

Hmmm too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you flowers and held your hand
Should have gave you all my hours when I had the chance
Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby is dancing, but she's dancing with another man.

Seohyun looked at him again with those sad eyes, but he shook his head, telling her to not look at him, instead he pointed HyunJoong, telling her to focus on him

My pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways
Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life

A tear escaped from his eyes, but wiped it quickly before anyone notice it

Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes
It all just sounds like uh, uh, uh, uh

He gaze at the new couple, feeling the bitterness wrap his heart

Too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you flowers and held your hand
Should have gave all my hours when I had the chance
Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby is dancing, but she's dancing with another man.

Although it hurts I'll be the first to say that I was wrong
Oh, I know I'm probably much too late
To try and apologize for my mistakes

Seohyun was looking at him again, and this time he didn’t make her look away, he hold her gaze, making her feel the message he’s beenwanting to tell her.

But I just want you to know
 

I’m letting you go Jung Joo Hyun. You’re free now Seo Joo Hyun   

I hope he buys you flowers, I hope he holds your hand

I wish you found happiness in him

Give you all his hours when he has the chance

Kim Hyun Joong make her happy

Take you to every party cause I remember how much you loved to dance

I love you Seo Joo Hyun
Do all the things I should have done when I was your man!
 

I will always love you…

Do all the things I should have done when I was your man!

Another tear escaped from his eyes, yet he wiped it again. The guest applauded, making him wake up in his trance. He smiled forcefully and bowed. He saw her back from her seat, but Kim Hyun Joong is not with her.

Then the next song is about to play

“I would like to dedicate this song to someone who’s dear to me. She’s here. But I can’t come to her. She’s here and yet she’s far away” his voice broke, good thing the people around him didn’t noticed it

(Play: move on)

“Please listen to this” he held her gaze, telling it directly to her

How do I end up in the same old place
Faced again with the same mistakes
So stubborn, thinking I know what is right
But life proves me wrong every time

For one last time, look at me Hyun

Look at me as if you can’t live without me

Look at me as if you need my in your life more than anything else

Taking roads that lead me no where,
How do I expect to get there
But when will I learn to just put you first

Just this once,

Look at me as if you love me

(His tears fell uncontrollably, the lights dimmed, saving him from the embarrassment of breaking down in front of hundred of guests. He maintained his eye contact with her even the tears keeps on blurring his vision)

I come to you now when I need you
But why do I wait to come see you
I always try to do this on my own
But I was wrong, cause only with you
Can I move on (can I move on)

When I am weak, it's you that makes me strong
And I know that you've been with me all along
So many times I forget to close my eyes
And listen to my heart
With you, life is so easy
Why do I make it hard

(He saw her wiped her face)

Did you even like me back then?

Oh, taking roads that lead me no where,
How do I expect to get there
When will I learn to just put you first

I, I come to you now when I need you
But why do I wait to come see you
I always try to do this on my own
But I was wrong, cause only with you
Can I move on

I'll get out of my own way,
Let you have your way
Cause I realized I'm no good on my own
I'm there for you, I'll serve for you
I can't live without you

I come to you now when I need you
Why do I wait to come see you
I always try to do this on my own
But I was wrong, I was wrong, I was wrong,
With only you, only you, with only you
Can I move on, can I move on, can I move on

It was then, she nodded. Feeling the message was conveyed successfully. He received a standing ovation, and saw some of the guest wiping their tear-stricken face

He made up his mind. One last dance, and this is all….

He approached her, and saw her alarmed face.

“One last time?” was all he said, he reached for her hands undoubtedly, and she accepted it. He ushered her to the dance floor, placed his one hand on her hips and the other one holding her hand

(Play: I can’t make you love me)

“I’m sorry” that was all he said, but both of their tears fell at the same time

 “There’s a long list of the things I need to ask forgiveness from you. But Ottoke hyun? I don’t k-know where to start-“ His shoulder’s shook

She felt a drop of water fell to her bare shoulder, he’s crying.

“I’m sorry for everything hyun. I-I can’t t-turn back the time but I-I know-“ he sobbed, making her chest tighten with the pain

She let go of his hand that was holding her and wrapped both her arms around his neck, pulling his head to lean on her shoulder

“I know I-I’ll still choose to repeat what happened. And t-that is o-our arrange m-marriage will continue. B-but if I get to bring back t-the time, I-I won’t leave y-you hyun” he leaned closer to her, burying his face in her bare shoulder

“I won’t even leave you just for one s-second.” He was shaking, she was rubbing his back and was wiping her tears frequently

“I g-guess what they said was t-true” he pulled out for a bit and looked at her in the eyes, with their tears-stricken face they gaze at each other longingly

“That you would never appreciate the importance of the person, until she was gone” Her tears cascaded down her face, he wiped it with his thumbs

“Don’t cry for me hyun, I don’t deserve it. I made you cry a lot didn’t I?” she sobbed

“Hush hyun. Hush. It will be the last time you’ll cry” he assured her, but the truth is he’s assuring himself too.

He moved closer and nuzzles her head, smelling her hair that he would surely miss

“B-but I won’t say this just because I’m force to” he whispered in her ears “I love you Hyun. I love you. I will always love you. No matter how many girls parade in front of me it will always be you I’ll see. Please believe me” his voice broke, another fresh tears fell from his face

“I regretted everything I did to you. And I swear I cursed myself for doing it to you unknowingly. I keep on hurting you. I keep on deepening the pain in there.” He pointed her heart

“But I swear this will be the last time you’ll cry. Be happy with him. Be happy for me. Be my happiness even if I’m far from you, away from your sight, even if I’m far away.”

He cupped her face and made him looked at her

“If you’re ruining your life because of me, I’ll be the one to stay away from you. I’d rather stay away from you and wallow in my sadness, than to drag you in hell with me and we’ll both suffer. I’d rather be the one hurting and you’ll be the one laughing. I’d rather be the one suffering, I’d rather be the one hurting. You don’t deserve me. You deserve to be happy. I love you My Angel. I love you”

He’s on his way to his room in King’s hotel (Krystal gave it to him, as a token of appreciation) when he heard her

“OPPA!” he stood there, rooted on his spot as he heard her voice

He’s about to walk faster but she caught his arms

“You said this is the last time?” she asked, he nodded

“Then be with me tonight.” She looked at him with determined eyes

“Seohyun” she placed a finger in his lips, shushing him

“I’m still Jung Joo Hyun tonight” although her words pierced through his heart, he ignored it

“No.” was all he said and turned away. But she was quick. He’s infront of his hotel room door when she stopped him, she spun him around and grabbed his neck, kissed him deeply

“Just this once.” Was all she said, and it ignited the heat they’ve been hiding for months

He kissed her forcefully at first, he inserted the card and opened his suite. Their kiss didn’t broke as they struggled to come in the room, he threw her on the bed, she was looking at him with those intensity in her eyes that turns him on more.

They took of their clothes quickly and started assaulting each other again. It was halfway when Yonghwa stopped,

“Wae?” Seohyun asked disappointedly

“I wan’t to cherish this moment” he said softly, making her vision blurred again

And slowly, he laid her down. Kissed her forehead, showered her face with small sweet kisses, he worshipped every inch of her from head to foot.

He touched her everywhere, caressing her with so much gentleness, whispering sweet loving words she’s been waiting to hear for a long time like

I love you

Stay with me tonight

Please give me your heart

You’re mine tonight. But I was hoping it was forever

You’re the most beautiful girl I ever laid my eyes on and that won’t ever change

And slowly, he entered her, slowly, they made love, this time, She believed it was making love. The softness, gentleness, the loving and soothing words he’s been confessing. It makes her cry, and as they move synchronize, her tear falls uncontrollably, he was kissing every tear that’s falling, kissing the path the tear fell. Hushing her with soft and loving kisses.

And as they reached their , they snuggle on each other, not wanting to let go of each other, cherishing the moment forever.

It was 3am when he woke up, he smiled unknowingly, it feels good making love with her, he moved to her side, been wanting to cuddle her, but all he felt was the cold side. He opened his eyes, and saw that she’s not there anymore. There’s a note that was left though. He reached for it and a tear fell from his eyes when he read it

This time, I’ll be the one who’ll abandon you.

She left his room crying, feeling the guilt eating up inside her, but she wiped it forcefully, hating the tears and the way she’s feeling. Why? She should be celebrating. She should be happy that she’ll finally take revenge.

The elevator dinged, and she walked out but was clashed with another human making her fall.

“Ouch! Miss! Are you okay?” said a woman’s voice. She looked up and her eyes widen. It’s her! Yonghwa’s mistress!

“Oh! Seohyun unnie!!” Krystal said cheerfully, but she ignored it

And then her gaze fell to the pendant in her chest. That pendant looks familiar!!

She hastily stood up and looked at it closely

“W-were d-did you g-get that?!” Seohyun said, confirming that it was the one she’s looking for

“Oh. I found it in Yonghwa-Oppa’s things. Wae? Pretty right? He treasured this one the most, but good thing he can’t resist his cousin’s plead and tadaah! He gave it to me just like that!”

“Yonghwa?! He gave it to you?!” Krystal nodded, looking at her weirdly

“My husband gave it to his mistress just like that?!” Seohyun said, getting angrier

“MWO!? MISTRESS?!” Krystal guffawed

“I didn’t know Seohyun unnie is a joker just like her husband!” Krystal laughed heartily

“Seohyun unnie?! Ha!” she spat in disgust

“Unnie! I’m Jung Krystal!!”

“Ooh! It must be faith you have the same surname.” Seohyun said bitterly

“Ofcourse we have the same surname! He’s my cousin!! My only family left” she heard Krystal sobbed, but her mind is in turmoil right now that she can’t even comfort her

“Y-you said he’s your cousin?” Krystal nodded

“Stupid Seo Joo Hyun!” she cursed herself

“wae unnie?” Krystal looked at her innocently

“I’m sorry for accusing you as his mistress. But I’ll talk to you later ahrasseo? I just need to talk to him!”

Seohyun and Krystal both came up, Seohyun rushed to his suite only to find it empty. Her heart stammered. She looked at the en suite but he’s not there also

“Unnie” Krystal came in, she saw Seohyun seated at the bed

“He’s gone” Seohyun said lifelessly, sobbing

Just then, Krystal’s phone beeped. It was from him

I’ll be going now. Please don’t search for me. Never. Stay healthy and be Happy

-Yonghwa

“Unnie!” she showed Seohyun Yonghwa’s text

“I think I know where he’s heading to” Seohyun stood up and ran out of the room and came back as if she forgot something

“I owe you one Krystal. I’ll get back to you”

“No need unnie! Just fix your problem with Oppa and that’ll be your gift to me! Fighting unnie!”

“Wish me luck!”

“You don’t need it! You’re lucky enough to have him. Go go go!”  

==============================================TBC===========================================

Author's Note

Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! Longest update ever!! *throws confetti* although I also think that this one is the heaviest. Please bear with me, it'll be the last angst chapter and you know what will happen next *wink*

Thank you for commenting, subscribing and voting!! I love you goguma chingus!! <3

let's be together till this end ahrasseo?

And sorry for making you cry/sad/frustrated TT^TT believe me I also have a heavy heart while writing all these chapters *sobs*