A month had passed and he keeps on noticing her odd behavior. He always caught her staring from afar as if she’s in a deep thought. He would always wave his hands in her face and the latter will just looked at him and just smile, that smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

He keeps on asking what’s wrong but she just keep on changing the topic. She’s stressed, he can feel it, but he’s more restless everytime he looks at her, he badly want to help, but she won’t tell him how. He doesn’t know how he survived a month with that situation, but his patience is almost running out.

[Kindly play this as BGM ^^]

“Joohyun” he approached his wife who’s in the balcony that chilly night “It’s cold in here, let’s go inside?” he rubbed his palms on both her arms

“Oppa” she whispered softly, she reached for his hands and entwined both of it with his, he backhugged her comfortably. They were staring silently at the moon, both doesn’t want to start a conversation.

“I’m your husband right Angel?” he broke the silence with his soft whisper

“Hmmm.”

“but why?”

“What why Oppa?”

“Why won’t you let me suffer too? I want to help Hyun, I badly want to. We promised in front of God that we’re together, what ever happens we’re in this, we’re BOTH in this. I don’t want to see you suffering ALONE, if you don’t want to tell me your problem, let me feel the pain too, I won’t let you suffer alone My Angel, I won’t.”

“Oppa” she sighed “Have you ever think of loving another woman? I mean, back when the days when our relationship wasn’t good, those days where in each others throat” she laughed nervously but felt his hands tighten around hers “did you think that you can find someone better than me? Or rather, you’ll find someone worth your time?” She expected his response

He untangled his hands in hers and released her from his hug. Even without turning around, she can sense that he’s calming himself.

“Jung Joo Hyun” he warned, but she didn’t budge

“just answer me Oppa”

“No.”

“Jinjja?”

“Are you doubting my loyalty?!”

“Ani.” She heard him breathe deeply

“the first time I laid my eyes on you, I knew, even before my mind knew what feeling it is, my heart knew it already. Right after we first met, I no longer looked at any other woman.”

“Did you ever think of leaving me?”

“If I did, we’re not here together now.” His voice are becoming cold, indicating of him getting impatient

“If ever I told you to find someone who’s worth your time w-“

“I HATE THIS!” he said, anger evident in his voice “WHERE EXACTLY IS THIS CONVERSATION GOING?!” she hasn’t faced him yet, her gaze steadied on the calm moon looming over them.

“I’m sorry Oppa” a tear escaped from her eyes

“Hyun” he said, raking his hair with his hands frustratingly

“Tell me baby, tell me. I want to help. I want to know what’s bothering you. You’re pregnant hyun, you’re supposed to be glowing! And not looking stressed.” He said pleading her, he wrapped his arms around her, seeking for the warmth they both needed

“Nothing’s wrong Oppa, Pregnant women tends to be Emotional” she wiped her tears first before facing her husband, she wrapped her arms around his neck and tiptoed to kiss him

“I love you.” She kissed him deeply, closing her eyes as another tear fell

Mian Oppa, I love you, but I love our baby too.

=Flashback=

“Mrs. Jung, I suggest you visit me at my office a month after” she remained frozen on her spot, wearing the strong façade, but deep inside she’s already trembling in fear, chanting for her baby to be safe.

“I-is there something w-rong?”

“I need to examine you again for assurance. It is too early for assumption, and we need to monitor your condition within a month. Please visit me again after a month.” The Doctor bowed and her heel

But before the doctor took her turn, Seohyun grabbed her wrist and told her

“Please tell my husband I’m okay, I don’t want him to worry” she said with a feared expression

“B-but”

“You need to” she said sternly

“A-ahrasseo. If you don’t need anything more ma’am I need to go” she nodded stiffly, and let her Doctor walk out.

She touched her belly, tapping it lightly “We’ll be safe, you’ll be safe, I won’t let anything harm you” she whispered on her tummy as if the baby can hear her.

She waited in vain for the next month to come, she spent restless nights just by thinking what could have been the situation they’re facing or about to face.

When the day came, she told Yong that she’ll just go to the grocery to fetch some ingredients, he wants to come but she won’t allow it, thinking of excuses that can make her husband to stay at their house. Right after almost an hour of persuasion, she breathed in relief as he nod his head slowly.

When she arrived at her Doctor’s office, her heart was beating rapidly. She was holding her stomach protectively, protecting her baby from any unseen harm.   

She took examinations and after waiting for almost an hour for the result, her Doctor came, her face void with emotion.

“Mrs. Jung” her doctor started, her heart beat fast again, making her head ache, making her dizzy.

“Y-yes?”

“Kindly answer my questions truthfully ahrasseo?”

“N-ne”

“First, are you having difficulty breathing while you’re lying flat?”

“S-sometimes”

“Shortness of breath exertion?”

“N-ne”

“Palpitation?”

“That’s what I’m curious at, I don’t drink coffee, but I palpitate. Is it normal?”

“And last, are your knee (she pointed above and below her knee) swelling?”

“It did, but one of the ahjumma said it was normal for pregnant women”

She heard the doctor sigh again, this time, deeply.

“Mrs. Jung. I-I’m sorry to s-say this but, we’re suspecting that you’re having the symptoms of PPCM.”

“PPCM?”

“Peripartum Cardiomyopathy, a form of heart failure that happens as a result of pregnancy.As the left ventricle of the heart becomes enlarged and the percentage of blood that is ejected with each contraction decreases, the heart is no longer able to meet the demands of the body's organs for oxygen. Consequently, the kidneys retain fluid in the body, and this fluid causes the heart to work harder and become weaker, leading to more fluid retention. This is a vicious cycle and the excess fluid puts pressure on the organs; causing electrolyte imbalances, kidney and liver failure and can ultimately lead to blood clots causing , heart attack and death. Heart failure is essentially, a condition where a person drowns in their own fluids.”

Her Doctor explained her furthermore about PPCM but her mind is already traveling to the “what if’s” that’s circulating her mind that time.

She trembled in fear, holding her tummy protectively. She put on the emotionless façade and courageously faced her Doctor once again

“I-is there a chance I- W-we can survive it?”

“There is a chance, but, out of 100% there’s only 20% for the possibility of you surviving it. But I suggest, please don’t risk it. I’m sorry to say this but you can’t keep the baby, but as a mother too, although I can see the determination in your face, you need to talk this matter with your husband, this is important Mrs. Jung, it is a matter between life and death. You can die Mrs. Jung if you risk it, it’s either you’ll die or the baby.”

She remained stoic, she was just looking her Doctor, but seems like her head blocked all the sound and all she can think of is the growing life inside of her.

She bowed without waiting for her Doctor to finish speaking, she left her office without looking back. She just walked and walked until she unconsciously reached the nursery section. Cries of newborn babies resonated around the area, making her heart hurt more.

“I promise baby, I’ll be seeing you in here. You’ll be a beautiful girl or a handsome boy. You’ll get your father’s genes and mine too! And I swear, that among all the babies, you’ll be the best!” she looked down and caressed her growing bump. Tears cascaded down her cheeks

“Omma will protect you little one, I won’t let anything happen to you. But in order for Omma to survive her 9 months you need to help me too, be strong ahrasseo? For Omma and Appa, be strong.”

“I remember, me and your appa used to come here whenever we’re in the hospital, dreaming that one day, we’ll be seeing our own child here, sleeping in that cute little crib, and then we’ll look at you from here and we’ll say proudly “that’s our child, the fruit of our love”” she wiped the tears that fallen, smiling strongly while still caressing her tummy.

“Omma loves you, I won’t give up, and you shouldn’t give up too ahrasseo? I love you aegi-ah. Saranghae” she glanced back at the babies sleeping before deciding to go home.

=End of Flashback=

She stared at his calm sleeping form, it’s already 2 in the morning, yet she can’t still sleep. Everyday, she does this. Staring at her husband’s peaceful face until she fall asleep, spending hours just staring at him makes her calm and peaceful.

She started tracing his face, from his forehead, to his eyebrows, his beautiful eyes, his nose, and his lips. Her other hand was caressing her little bump

Baby, this is your Appa. He’ll be the one to take care of you when I’m gone and promise me, when you grow up you’ll take care of him too ahrasseo?

Starting tomorrow, I need to act bad. I don’t want your Appa to get hurt when I’m gone. I want him to hate me as much as he can, so that if ever the time has come, he won’t feel sadness, because sadness can kill people, I want him to feel something instead of sadness. Am I making sense? *chuckle* But then, it’s not that I’m giving up without putting on a fight, ofcourse I want to survive too, but as they said, expect the worst right? It’s better off this way. Right baby?  

She kissed his forehead before hugging him tight until she fell asleep

I love you Jung Yong Hwa, I love you. And I’m sorry too.

========================================TBC===============================

A/N

And I'm back with an Update!! *throws confetti* I'm sorry for updating late, It's just that I can't seem to find the right emotion here *chuckles* it doesn't made sense right? lol

Please wait for the next chapters! hihi.

I'm seriously not confident with this update of mine >.< but I'll post it anyway :D hope you enjoy thiss although it's a little bit dramatic. Andwaeee Joohyun Omma and their BB T^T

And also

#GoguNews

URI SEOHYUNNIE'S TWITTER ACOUNT!!! @sjhsjh0628!!! ALL HAIL TO THE QUEEN OF GOCHUN!!  *fireworks* and *clears throat* Thanks for the YONGSEO Selca! kkk. seeing you both uploaded your selca makes us giddy enough :D

And Congratulations to OT9 for winning!!! *throws confetti* this calls for celebration!! CNSD *grin*!! <3<3<3

And oooh oooh I'm planning on creating a Daragon FF *grins widely* who here are Daragon too? *hands up* 

/stahps myself from blaberring/  

see you on my next updatesssssssssss

Ciao~

-Azile<3