[Please play this as the BGM throughout this chapter. Thank youuu! *^^*]

After 3 days…

He woke up without her beside him, feeling the cold sheet, he sighed as he close his eyes. A single tear fell from his tired eyes

How long will you hate me? Please understand me Angel. It was also hard for me

He opened the other room’s door and saw her sleeping beside the crib that was supposed to be for their first baby.

Their first baby…

He shook his head as he stopped his tears from falling

“Baby” his gaze turned to her sleeping form, she looks vulnerable, her face was sullen, she lose weight.

“My baby” he moved closer and heard her mumbling in her sleep

“Don’t leave me” she whispered breathlessly “Don’t!!” she was crying

“Hyun” he tapped her wet cheeks

“Hyun-ah, wake up!” he was shaking her

“Noooo! Don’t leave mommy. Don’t!” she was sobbing hard

“Jung Joo Hyun!!” she suddenly woke up and sat, but fell on her back because of dizziness

“You’re having a nightmare again” she looked beside her and saw him looking at her with worried look

“For you it’s a nightmare, but for me it’s a beautiful dream. Where I met my baby, where I got to hold her for real” she sobbed

“Hyun~” there it goes again.

“Let’s divorce” he looked at her as if what she said was the biggest lie he ever heard

“Jung Joo Hyun, stop this now” he was losing patience

“I’ll leave if you don’t want to” She was about to stand up when he caught her wrist and pulled her down forcefully

“Don’t you ever mention that word again!”

“What? Divorce? Fine, let’s separate”

“Goddamit! Stop this non-sense! Will you??”

“Non-sense?! Everything is! Since that day!” her voice croaked at her last words

“Joohyun, please hear me out” his voice soften, his heart was breaking seeing the broken look, the pain and agony in her face.

“No! Go away! Don’t ever come near me ever again!” she stood up and slammed the door

=Flashback=

She woke up and saw him sleeping beside her. Their hands clasped, and he was leaning his head in her arms.

She rubbed her stomach, but felt different.

“Baby?” she was rubbing her tummy, feeling the heartbeat of their first Angel

“Hyun” she looked at him, her expression was mixed with fear and anxiety

“My Baby”

“Hyun” he stood up and was about to hug her but she refused to

“What happened?!” her voice was quivering “Where’s my Angel?!” her vision getting blurry

“I love you Hyun, I love you” he was looking at her sympathetically

“Don’t you dare look at me like that!” she snarled

“Hyun”

“WHAT HAPPENED?” she started pulling off her IV

“Joohyun-ah!” he was fast enough to stop her from doing anything drastic. He leaned closer and pressed the emergency button, not long after, people wearing white dresses came in, two guys were holding her while the other nurse was holding a syringe

“Please stay calm” the nurse said

“Hyun, please.” She saw him pleading

“You’ve done it. You’ve done it right?” she asked him, her voice quivering, tears threatening to fall down in any second

“I’m sorry” he said breathlessly, his head hung low, his tears threatening to fall, but he needs to be strong for the both of them

“I pleaded Yong, I pleaded. I ask you to consider it. I ask you to give it a try. What if there’s a miracle that suddenly happen?”

“I can’t risk losing you”

“I risk myself just to protect our baby Yong. OUR BABY! How can you be cruel enough to decide on your own?!” she was struggling

“I did it for you Hyun, I was hurt too!”

“Did I ask you too?? I was more hurt because of what you did!! You took a part of me! A part of me that-“

“The baby was mine too!!”

“Was” she said breathlessly, her hand covered , stopping the ugly sobbed coming out of “That’s our first baby, Yong.”

“Hyun. Please understand me”

“I hate you” was the last thing she said right before she closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep.

He loose strength and fell on his knees. The nurse can’t do anything but offer comforting words to him before going out of the room.

“I’m sorry. I can’t risk your life My Angel. I can’t bear to lose you” He covered his face with his hands

“I’m sorry baby, but I know you understand me. You’re her guardian angel now right? Please take care of mommy” He was holding a small baby shoe that was supposed to be for their first baby, he bought it last month, hoping that the baby would be a girl. And it is, or rather it was…

=End of flashback=

He stayed in front of the door, waiting for her to come out. It was already past 7 in the evening, he was sitting at the floor for 8 hours now

“Joohyun” he tried to call her again, but he can’t hear anything inside

“I know you’re mad at me, but please, don’t leave me” he pleaded, his voice quivering

“I love you, please don’t leave me. I’ll die, I’ll die if that ever happen. Just thinking about it-“  he bit his lower lip to stop the sobs that’s threatening to come out

“What happened three days ago, it hurts me as much as it hurts you. I’m not the monster you believed to be three days back. I’m not that ignorant to just let our baby die” the tears he was trying hard to stop came rushing down his face “It was painful, hearing those nurses telling you the things you should do while they were removing the baby, our baby inside you. As much as you want to, I want to hold her too, I want to feel her too. I want to see her as much as you do.” He leaned closer to the door “You were hurt, I know. And I know, you think that the pain I’ve been feeling is nothing against your feeling. But you didn’t experience the painful feeling when I was filling up her death certificate that was supposed to be her birth certificate. You didn’t experience the feeling of being inside the operating room where your wife is unconscious and when she woke up, you’re expecting her wrath knowing her husband made the biggest foolish decision he ever did in his whole life. That in any moment, you’re afraid you’ll lose the two of the most important person in your life. That in any moment, the child you badly wanted to have will leave Earth and return where she was destined to be. It hurts Joohyun, it hurts seeing your own child lifeless. It killed me, it killed me seeing her in that state. I wanted to kill myself for being a stupid father, I felt useless, seeing you striving while I just gave up. But please hear me out, as much as I love our child, I love you more than anything else. And you know what breaks my heart most?

The nurse asked me on what will be our baby’s name. And she told me,

She told me our baby looks like us, and

I’ll be a great dad if only I just let her live.               

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A/N

Annyeoooooong! My deepest apology for updating super late TT______________TT as much as I want to update fast, I still can't!!!

So much schoolworks, few more weeks and *clears throat* *plays graduation song*

hnggggg~ 

but before that, I need to do all the things that needs to be done before the grace period! 

so yeaaaah! 

is it that heavy? my update? mehehe

miaaaan!

till next update <3

Ciao!

-Azile<3