Seungri's POV

“I hope it’s not awkward to do this here.. But yeah.. You guys know Lydia right?” Jiyong smiled nervously..

“Well, we are dating.”

From the moment Jiyong called us to meet him at the studio; I already had a bad feeling. But I chose to ignore it. Who would knew how many bad feelings I had since that started. I could no longer recognize hunches as my depression grew. And today, I regretted my decision to ignore the hunch I got earlier.  

Lydia. I known her. The sweet girl. She was YG’s new producer. She was cute and everybody agreed on that. So, was I surprised of Jiyong being attracted to her? The answer was no. I wasn’t. Do you knew why? Because she was his ideal type. She was sweet, cute, reliable and understandable. But was I surprised that they were dating? Yes. I was. I was extremely surprised. The dark pitch world consumed the moveless me. That was suppose to happen in nightmares only, not in the real world. I wasn’t meant to be the dweller of that world.

Why? Why was I feeling surprised?

Because deep down in Jiyong’s heart, did he loved me? He loved me, right? He could fall in love with me again, right? I fervently believe in it.

He told me I was the love of his life.
He promised me he couldn’t live without me.

I loved him so much. And I still loved him.

‘God. Please just let me die.’

I didn’t know how I managed to get out of there, but I knew I was no longer needed there. I was no longer needed in his life. All my hopes crushed and withered away. I was a fool to be holding onto little hope. I tried everything I had to make him look at me.

But did I tried my best? I didn’t know because I was human too. I got hurt and I couldn’t control my feelings.

He barely return home anymore. He was always at the studio and now I knew why. Every time I went there to bring him lunch or dinner I couldn't stay and watched him. It pained me a lot when he didn’t spared a tiny of his attention to me when I had been watching him all that time. In fact, he hated me doing that.

“Maknae.. Do you not have anything else to do? Thank you for the food, but I can’t eat when you are staring at me like that.”

I was not staring. I was hopelessly waiting. Waiting for you to remember. That was the same lunch that I cooked for you for the first time. Did you not say that even though it was a little burnt, your heart burned more? So I made certain to make it imperfect like the first time. But you still forgot.

“Maknae, I didn’t know you like to come to this restaurant. I did too; I always wished that if I was to be dating someone, this was to be the restaurant for my first date.”

My heart swelled with joy. So that restaurant was special. That was where we had our first date. I looked at you with blossoming hope.

“Maknae-ah.. Now I told you that, I think I need to find a new dating place.”

My heart bled with misery. However, I was not giving up. Because you asked me to not to give up on us. I could handle that. I would do it by taking you to every our special places. I would do it until you remember our past. I would be a smiling and cheerful maknae for you. You would fall in love with me again. I believed in us. I believed in you.

The moment I lost those beliefs, I would have lost myself. Because you took i