Another day lied ahead of them. Jong Kook ran his fingers through Ji Hyo’s hair and looked at the woman sleeping next to him. “Ji Hyo, you look so peaceful now and I hope you will always stay so peaceful.” Although words remained unspoken, Jong Kook knew that something had changed in Ji Hyo ever since her miscarriage. He saw fear and unease which were not present in her before the whole ordeal. He wanted so much to carry the pain and sufferings in her place. “How can I make you happy again?”

His deep thoughts were disturbed when she rested her hand on his face. He took in her peaceful expression and buried his cheek into her hand. He closed his eyes to relish this serene moment. “If only I can freeze this moment for us.”

“What are you thinking?” she wanted to ask but did not because she was afraid that she might not be ready for his answer. “What shall we do today?” she chose to ask instead.

“Are your legs tired? Do you want to go to the spa again?” he suggested, taking into account that she had expressed her high satisfaction with the hotel spa services on the day of their arrival and her legs might be aching from their long walk the day before.

“What time is our flight?” she asked.

“2pm.”

Since she was resting on his chest, she reached across his body for his watch on his bedside table. She stole a small smile when she saw it was the watch that she had given him. In fact, he had been wearing only this watch since the day she gave it to him. After taking a quick glance at the time, she posed, “Why don’t we go tangerine picking today? We can get some for your mother.”

“Sure, let’s go pick some tangerines today. I’ll make the arrangement.” He smiled to her. “Do you want breakfast in our room again?” She nodded her head.

After their breakfast, they checked out and took the hotel limousine to a tangerine farm. The farmer and his wife greeted them at the entrance and led them into the orchard. The trees were full of big and round fruits. Many fruits had already turned into various shades of orange but it was still not the peak season for tangerine picking. The older couple taught Jong Kook and Ji Hyo how to identify tangerines which were ready for harvesting and showed them how to cut the stem close to the fruit to harvest it.

Jong Kook and Ji Hyo went around the huge orchard and searched for the right tangerines to harvest. As he was busy cutting the stem and putting the harvested fruits into their basket, Ji Hyo took a tangerine and peeled off its skin. She was savouring the sweet fruit when she was caught by him. She tried to look innocent and she stuck out the tip of her tongue. Their eyes met and they looked at each other lovingly. She subconsciously placed a piece of the tangerine towards but before she could put it all in, he had swiftly moved towards her and leaned in to bite the fruit too. Their lips touched. Still sharing the piece of fruit in their mouths, they closed their eyes and exchanged a heated kiss. Both of them wished for the time to stop for them.

When they broke from their kiss, her cheeks were flushed and she looked down bashfully. Drawing her close for an embrace, he placed a soft kiss on her forehead and whispered, “I love you.”

“Thanks for loving me. I love you too.” She kept the words to herself and pressed closer him.

He waited disappointedly for her to say the three words back to him.

One week later, it was the last day of filming for Ji Hyo’s latest television drama series. Jong Kook had arrived early at the filming set to fetch her home. As she had a few more scenes to go, he sat by the side and watched her filmed. He was impressed by her dedication to her craft.

For this final scene that they were filming, her co-star was supposed to push her onto the floor and walked away, and she would be left there to cry alone. The demanding director had already made them do several re-takes due to the angles that she fell, her co-star’s expression and many other reasons. When the director finally accepted the take, she was exhausted. However, she felt that she had cried too early and she should have taken more time to build up the emotions of her character such that her soft sobs would gradually turn into audible cries. She apologised to her director and co-star and asked for one more re-take. And, she did not disappoint them and the production crew. Her delivery for the final take was so touching and heart-breaking that there were many moist eyes among the crew.

During the final take, she had envisioned herself in the situation where Jong Kook had finally left her in utter disappointment. “Which man wouldn’t be disappointed with a woman who can’t have children? And now, I can’t even satisfy his needs.” Quiet tears flowed from the fears and sense of guilt which had been set deeply in her core. “I’m not fit to be his wife. I am not worthy of him.” Choking sobs emerged as she acknowledged that he was right to walk away from her and she had no rights to ask him to stay. Then her pains hit her so hard that she bent over onto the ground and wept openly.

After she had changed and said farewell to her co-workers, Jong Kook escorted her to their car. As soon as he had settled into his driver seat, he praised her. “You were really good just now. I almost cried watching you,” he confessed coyly. She gave him a light smile.

As he drove out of the car park, he asked her lovingly “Are you tired? Shall we grab some food before we go home?”

“No, I want to go home,” she replied in a low dull voice. He corked his head to the side and nodded. “She must be very tired. I will fix her some food when we reach home,” he thought to himself.

Their drive home was soundless except for the purring of the car engine. She looked blankly at the passing scenery with a full mind and a heavy heart. The emotions from her filming were still dwelling in her and she was moody. Her new movie contract had been signed that morning and the details of her trip had already been firmed up. She needed to break the news to him personally before he found out from the media. She took a deep breath and inhaled the familiar scent of his cologne. She was going to miss him.  

She finally broke the silence when their car stopped at a traffic light. “I’ll be leaving for Hong Kong in two weeks. A Hong Kong movie company has approached me to act in their action movie and I have already accepted their offer.” She turned her head and watched for his reaction carefully.

He heard her. He gripped the steering wheel tightly. When the traffic light changed colour, he did not drive off until the car behind horned at him. Her news took him by surprise. But he wasn’t totally unprepared for this news. He battled within himself on whether he should ask her to stay or he should give her his support. When he recalled that their first fight was over her work assignment, he finally responded with the question “How long will you be away?”

“Aren’t you going to ask me to stay? Are you letting go of me?” Ji Hyo almost wanted to ask him. Looking at his composed expression, her heart sunk with disappointment. “Six months,” she replied and searched his face for his actual thoughts.

He nodded at her answer and continued driving without taking his eyes off the road.

She waited for his response as they passed one traffic junction after another until they reached their destination. His lack of reaction and words had irritated her. “How could you be so calm? What if I don’t come back?”

As if on cue with her thought, he asked after parking his car, “Will you be coming back after the six months?”

She gasped softly at his question. “I don’t know.” She hesitated. Recollecting their interaction in the past six months and the pressure that she felt in her attempts to please him before that, she wasn’t sure if they should really continue with their relationship. She could no longer say with certainty that their love had given her more joy than pain. “I don’t know,” she finally uttered.

He nodded quietly again.

“Why are you so calm? I’ve already said that I don’t know if I would come back. Aren’t you concerned? Why aren’t you stopping me from leaving? Have you already given up on me?” She wanted so much to hear his persuasion for her to stay, yet she strongly desired to get away from this silent stalemate of their relationship. She was so frustrated with herself and with him.

“A time-out may be good for us.” He finally concluded. “Please come back after the six months. I’ll be waiting for you,” he wanted to say to her but didn’t say it out.

She nodded blankly at his statement.

He wasn’t ignorant about how much their relationship had changed during the past six months. The Ji Hyo next to him was no longer the same one who had agreed to marry him. Something in her had broken so badly that he could no longer reach out to her. Talking to her was like walking on eggshells. To avoid saying the wrong things, he had chosen to keep quiet most of the time.

What he didn’t realise was that his silence was actually a form of speech to her. She had interpreted from his silence that he didn’t care much anymore. She started to believe that he was still with her solely because he was an honourable man. He would not break his promise to marry her and he would not abandon the mother of his child, albeit the child was never born. She had wanted so much to clarify her doubts with him but she didn’t dare to. ‘Sometimes, when you don’t ask questions, it’s not because you are afraid that someone will lie to your face. It’s because you’re afraid they’ll tell you the truth.’ (This is a quote from Jodi Picoult, Vanishing Acts)

What she didn’t know that was her thoughts and beliefs were far from the truth that he was feeling. He had stayed with her for no other reason beside his love for her. He really wanted to be with her.

Her exceptional behaviour during their Jeju trip had given him an inkling that something might be happening soon. When she announced her decision to go to Hong Kong, his dread had come true. He wanted to persuade her to stay but he knew that she needed to get away, to be alone to sort out her thoughts. After having seen her commitment to her work just now and from the past, he could not bring himself to stop her from taking up the excellent opportunity before her.

“She will be away for six months, not six years. Even if it is six years, I will wait for her.”
“Hong Kong isn’t that far away. I can always visit her.”
“If she returned after the six months, she will be mine for keep.”
“If this separation can help her to be truly happy again, let’s just do it.”
“She won’t be happy even if she stays.”
“What if she doesn’t come back after the six months?”
He battled mutely with his many thoughts as he drove the way home.

In the end, he told himself resignedly that a time-out might be good for both of them so that she could sort her thoughts. If she returned, she was his for keep; however, if she really chose to go, he hoped she would be happy again. No matter what her decision might be; he knew for sure that he would definitely wait for her. There would be no one but her in his life.

The next fortnight passed in a flash as she rounded up her work and all other contract obligations before she left for Hong Kong. Both of them hardly got to see each other and they did not discuss any more about her impending trip. She was so busy that she had to turn down Suk Jin’s suggestion for a get-together before she left.

On the day of her departure, he didn’t get to send her to the airport because her company had arranged for her transport and her security . She had another short press conference with the Hong Kong director at the airport to promote her new venture.

From a corner at the back of the conference room, he watched her answered question after question from the media. He was proud of her. He was reluctant to let her go.

When the time for her flight boarding drew near, she was escorted to the departure gate. At the departure gate, she turned around and searched for him even though she didn’t know if he was even at the airport. She didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye to him. She forced herself to smile before the crowd when her tears were threatening to spill.

As she walked towards her boarding gate, she quietly brushed off the tears at the corner of her eyes and sniffed. Her heart was crying out his name. She didn’t want to go to Hong Kong anymore. With her head looking down, she bumped hard into someone.

“I’m sorry.” She apologised without looking up. She had stepped aside to walk around the person blocking her when she felt a pair of big hands holding her shoulders firmly. The feeling and scent were so familiar to her that she let herself fall into his arms without looking. She buried her face into his chest and cried. He enveloped her with one arm and his other hand her back tenderly.

When he saw the media and the crowd, he knew that he might not have a chance to speak to her. Hence, he went to book an air-ticket to enter the transit area and meet her at her boarding gate.

“Don’t cry, my dear” he whispered to her. “Go and pursue your dreams. I’ll be waiting for you.” He finally gave her his reassurance. She slowly lifted her tear-streaked face to see him. Using both his hands, he wiped the tears from her face. “Your make-up is ruined, beautiful.” He smiled at her and so did she. He bended his head down and kissed her lips while his hands cupped her wet cheeks.  

They finally pulled away from each other when they heard her name being called over the public announcement system. He accompanied her to her boarding gate and they exchanged one more embrace before she left.

After her departure, Jong Kook began his “Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde” routine. He would live his life diligently in the day and sink into a drunken stupor in the night. Wanting to do up the house before Ji Hyo’s return and not wanting his mother to see him in his drunken mode, he had moved into their matrimonial house.

He usually drank privately in his own home but tonight he had sought out his friends. She had called that afternoon to inform him that she had been given another opportunity and she would be heading to mainland China. She would be extending her stay in Hong Kong and China and this round she really didn’t know how long her extension would be.

Ever since his second child’s arrival, Haha had become a family man like Jae Suk and Suk Jin. He could not stay long with Jong Kook for the drinking session. He kept glancing at his watch subconsciously and looked out for Kwang Soo to arrive. He was worried about Jong Kook. He had never seen Jong Kook gotten this drunk before. Jong Kook was pouring the alcohol down his throat wordlessly.

Finally, someone walked towards their table and it wasn’t Kwang Soo. Haha left Jong Kook with this person and went off.

(20.12.2013)
 

dear readers, i have started a new Christmas fanfic Our Pact for my OTP. please have a read if you have the time.