Weeks had passed. Both Jong Kook and Ji Hyo were coping better with their breakup.

Jong Kook had gone back to his usual routine, except that it now included going to Ji Hyo’s apartment once a day just to see if she had returned. He continued to foot the utilities bills and maintenance fees for her apartment in her absence. He could now look back and smiled at some of the silly things that he had done during the early days of their breakup. 

At that time, he was afraid to call her family as he was uncertain whether she had informed them about their breakup. Hence, he sought Kwang Soo’s help. Putting his pride aside, he had actually kneeled and begged Kwang Soo for help when a straightforward request would suffice. He drove Kwang Soo to her parents’ apartment building in the night and they sat in his car until the next morning. He then put a sleepy Kwang Soo up to look for her at their apartment alone. She was not at her parents’ place.

He had also asked Kwang Soo to find out about Ji Hyo’s schedule so that he could try to catch her at the filming sets. Unknown to him, Ji Hyo had already foreseen his plan. She had been asking for last minute schedule changes and she had asked her co-workers to feed Kwang Soo with misleading schedules. He didn't manage to catch her even once at her work place. 

As for Ji Hyo, she had stopped crying herself to sleep every night. At Gary’s encouragement, she had undergone counselling to deal her post trauma depression caused by her miscarriage. Gary still didn’t know about the reason for her breakup with Jong Kook. He also didn’t know what had caused her depression. All he knew was that if Ji Hyo didn’t want him to know, then he shall not know.

Being anxious about Ji Hyo’s well-being, Suk Jin, Jae Suk, Kwang Soo, Haha and Byul had called and messaged her many times. In appreciation of their concern, she sent her friends an apology message and let them knew that she was well. She informed them that she would give them her new contact number when she was ready.

Together with Gary sitting across her, she had listened to Jong Kook’s voice mails and read his text messages. The despair in Jong Kook’s voice broke her heart and she cried on Gary’s shoulder. When she was done with all his messages, she terminated that phone line. She knew that Jong Kook was still asking her when she was going back to him. There were nights that Gary drove her to her apartment building and they saw the lights in her apartment being switched on.

Both Ji Hyo and Gary never mentioned about the night which she had come to him and the kisses that they had. Gary was thankful that she had chosen to come to him that night and not to someone else. He could not bear it if some scumbag had taken advantage of her.

It was the third time she had watched the same segment for the last fifteen minutes and she was getting bored. She mischievously poured some of her soft drink into his can of beer and passed it to him. He absentmindedly took the can which was hovering before him like an irritating fly and took a gulp. She saw his frown deepened and tried to hide her giggles. He placed the can on the floor next to him. She was pouring more soft drink into his beer when he turned and raised his eye brows at her. “What are you doing, little imp?” She giggled. 

“Are you bored?” he asked her good-naturedly. She nodded and passed him another DVD.

He looked at the cover and shook his head. He took another DVD and passed to her. She shook her head. Together they dumped all the DVDs on the couch and shuffled through them. Both of them laid their hands on the same DVD – it was LeeSsang’s last concert. 

Gary went over to change the disc while Ji Hyo dumped the DVDs on the floor next to the couch.

They returned to their original sitting arrangement as the DVD started playing. Ji Hyo passed Gary her packet of chips but he opened his mouth signalling that he wanted her to feed him. She poutingly put one piece into his mouth as he picked up his notepad and pen.

“You actually study your own concert video?” she asked in amazement.

“Of course, there are mistakes to be corrected and areas to be improved,” he replied plainly. He passed the remote controller to her and she grinned.    

“You seem very free these days.” Gary remarked casually.

“Yes, my contract is ending soon so not many new projects are given to me.”

“Aren’t you going to renew your contract?”

“No.”

“No?”

“Yes, no.”

Gary chuckled at their “yes-no” exchange. “So, what are you going to do after your contract ends?”

“Leave the show business.”

He turned his head and looked at her. He asked seriously, “Are you serious?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I’m tired.” She had only given him one of the reasons. She counted herself lucky that no one had reported on her breakup with Jong Kook in the news yet. Apart from the Running Man family, his family and her family, no one else knew that they had broken off with each other. She could not imagine being chased and cornered by the paparazzi again. She had enough from the overzealous fans too. She hoped that she would be out of the show business by the time when the news broke out.

“What do you want to do after leaving the show business?” Gary returned his sight to the video.

“I want to open a boutique selling beautiful clothes and accessories,” she said a little dreamily. “It would be great to be surrounded by beautiful stuff.”

“And you can be your own shop’s model.” Gary said with a chuckle. “If you need help finding shop space, I can get Gil hyung to help you.”

“I’m just saying about it. I will ask for help when I’m serious,” she replied smiling. 

He turned his head around again and said to her, “Just let me know when you are serious. We will definitely help you.” She nodded her head and stuffed another piece of chip into his opened mouth.

They watched the video without further conversation as Gary had spotted something and was busily scribbling notes. 

As the song “You Are the Answer to a Guy like Me” came on the video, Gary was reminded of their Running Man days. This song was often played when he and Ji Hyo were filmed together, and he smiled at the memories. But what was Running Man without Jong Kook. With a tinge sadness and fear in his heart, Gary raised the question, “Jong Kook hyung is still waiting for you. You had depression then. Are you really serious about the breakup? Maybe both of you can still get back together?”

She spilled the packet of chips in her hand upon hearing Gary’s question. Gary didn’t turn to look at her but he put down his notepad and pen. After she had slowly gathered the spilled chips, she replied sombrely, “With or without depression, I will still leave him. Maybe without depression, I wouldn’t have leave him so harshly at the park that day.”

After hearing her answer, he took up his notepad and pen again.

After a while, she asked him “Do you like children?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want to have your own children?”

“Maybe not.”

She was surprised by his reply. “Why not?” she asked.

“I would like to adopt some children. I have seen the less privileged children in Cambodia and I would like to adopt some of them.”

“What if your other half wants a child of her own?”

“Then we can try. A child is after all a God's gift. It doesn't mean if we want, we can have.”

She found herself believing Gary and she recalled what Jong Kook said to her. “Did I have more faith in Gary than Jong Kook?” she questioned herself. “No, it’s just that Gary never said that he wanted children,” she replied herself.

It was already wee hours when they stopped watching the videos. It was obvious to Ji Hyo that Gary was very tired because he kept yawning and rubbing his face. However, he had insisted on returning to his studio. She didn’t feel that it was safe for him to drive back to his studio in his present state so she had asked him to stay for the night.

“It’s not right for me to stay here for the night.” Gary said while giving a big yawn.

“It’s okay. This is your apartment after all.” Ji Hyo insisted. “Your neighbours would have thought that I’m your live-in girlfriend anyway.” She added in a small voice.

He heard her. The term “live-in girlfriend” gave him a good vibe. But he kept his smile to himself and said to her, “I don’t care what the neighbours think and say. There is no space for me to sleep here.” He waved his arm across the room to make his point and gave another yawn.

As he picked up his car keys from the coffee table, she gripped his wrist. “You can sleep on the floor next to the bed. I will give you the quilt blanket as your makeshift mattress.” She then said more softly, “I will be worried for you if you leave now.”

He gently held the wrist of her hand which was gripping his and replied, “Don’t worry. I’ll message you when I reached my studio.”

In her last bid to stop him from leaving, but not without much truth in her following words, she said sadly to him, “Your question makes me think of him tonight. Can you just stay with me?” He put his keys on the table without another word and gave her a tender hug.

Gary had hit the sack the moment his head touched his pillow. Ji Hyo watched the soft snoring man and thought to herself, “He must be really tired.” She pulled his blanket higher. Her thoughts returned to their conversation. Would she want to get back with Jong Kook? Did she still love Jong Kook? Yes, she still loved him but she didn’t want to get back with him.

She looked at the mess in front of her and smiled. The DVDs were on the floor, the unfinished but resealed packet of chips lied on the couch, and the empty cans and chip packets were on the table and the floor. This was the real and messy Ji Hyo. She could live with this mess and cleared it later but she would not let Jong Kook see such a mess.

She enjoyed the junk food, soft drinks and beer. She didn’t have to eat them every day, but she would like to eat them whenever she felt like it. Healthy food was good but it didn’t make her happy. Sure, Jong Kook did not stop her from eating them and he even ate a piece of chocolate for her sake. She smiled at that bittersweet memory. These were her self-imposed expectations because Jong Kook had never asked her to change. But she also realised that both Jong Kook and her might be too competitive to be a couple together. Subconsciously, they had been competing to be a better partner for the other person. She had actually felt liberated after their breakup.  

Gary would be volunteering in Cambodia for the next four months with a possible extension for two more months. He was busy clearing his work and doing as much as possible so that Gil didn’t have to cover too much for him during his absence. He read the various documents and signed on the ones which were acceptable. He set aside those documents which needed more attention in another pile.

Gil sulked at the other side of the table and asked, “Do you really have to go for that long?”

“Yes, if I want to make myself useful there.”

“You are very useful here.”

Gary smiled at Gil’s statement. “Hyung, we have been through this discussion many times before. The next four months aren’t that tough. If need be, we can employ someone to help you out.”

“That person won’t know what to do. That person can’t make decisions like you do.”

Gary chuckled at Gil who was looking like a brat who had been denied his favourite toy. “I have already make most of the decisions including the ones for our next major event.”

“See you also know that there is a major event coming up.”

Gary reached across the table and put an encouraging hand on Gil’s shoulder. “There is only one major event and it is more than six months from now. I had already gone over the plans with you several times. The core logistics have been settled. The rest are your usual tasks and your forte.”

Gary returned to his pile of documents and added smilingly, “I’m sure you can handle the smaller events and the restaurants on your own. I trust you. If you really can’t handle, I won’t go for the two months extension.”

Since work was unable to make Gary stay, Gil decided to try something else. “What is your status with Ji Hyo now?”

“I just knew that Gil hyung will resort to this.” Gary sighed resignedly at his thought. After a long pause, he replied plainly without much emotion, “Friends.”

“Unbelievable! She had been living in your place for months and you are still friends?”

“I have been living in this studio for months too!”

Gil shook his head in mock disappointment and gave Gary a smirk. “So when you are gone for the next four months, is she going to stay at your place alone when she is not even your girlfriend?”

Gary knew that Gil was right. She could not keep on staying at his place. He would be away for four months and no one would be looking after her. She had basically cut off her interactions with everyone else, except him, after her breakup with Jong Kook.

That night when he returned to his apartment, he sat Ji Hyo down for a talk.

“Ji Hyo, I want you to understand this. I’m not chasing you out. You can stay at my place. But it has been months, you should go home by now.”

She looked at him uncertainly. Gary explained, “I will be going to Cambodia for four to six months. I won’t be around to look after you.”

“I can look after myself,” she quickly said.

“But you can’t even go back to your own home.”

She looked at him with slight hurt in her eyes. How could she claim that she was independent when she could not go back to her own apartment?

He held her hands in his and said, “You need to settle this with Jong Kook hyung and I will help you.”

 

 

(05.11.2013)