(Part 3)

The day I accepted my defeat was the day when everything I’ve done to hurt you came right back to my face.

I’ve been hated. By the students in our school, by your fans and by your showbiz entourage, by everyone I knew except my mom. But you know what’s ironic? It turned out you never hated me.

One day you’ve approached me in the rooftop of our school building. I was crying. My classmates had been bullying me for everything that I did to you. Your mere presence there irritated me. I'd always hated the idea of anyone seeing me in a vulnerable state. Even at my weakest, my pride wouldn't back down. I thought that you came to mock me; to see how miserable I was. I thought you wanted to tell me how stupid I’ve been for trying to defy you. 

I was wrong.

I glared at you as soon as I saw you approaching me but you did not flinch.  Instead, you held my gaze and sat down beside me. Hugging your knees, you took a deep breath before smiling at me.  

“What do you want?” I asked you as I ran my arm on eyes to wipe off my tears, my voice nasally from crying.

“I just want to sit with my little sister. Is that bad?”

“You’re not wanted here. Leave me alone.” I said in an undertone. My lips were trembling. I didn't want to look more pathetic so I averted my gaze away from you. 

You didn’t answer. You didn’t budge too. You just sat there, gazing at the setting sun in front of us, making me feel worse by your presence. A long moment of silence passed till I found my frustrations taking over me. I couldn’t control myself anymore. Not even caring that you were there, or that sky was becoming darker and darker, I let my tears out. I cried like I never cried before. 

As my world slowly crumbled, you put your arm around my shoulder. I stiffened from the suddenly skinship before I started squirming, aching for distance. It didn't take that sign of rejection to make you pull away. Instead, you reached out your hand and thumbed my tears before pulling my head until I leaned on your shoulder completely. "I'm sorry." I heard you say. The way a mother comfort her child when she's crying, you rubbed my shoulder soothingly. I didn’t have enough power to defy you anymore. I’ve acknowledged that I was weak and would never win against you so I just let you. Like that, we stayed; sounds of my sobbing filled the silence.

As my body relaxed in resignation, that ,Tiffany Hwang, screamed in my head saying, 'I get it, Kim Taeyeon. You win, I lost.'

We’ve stayed like for a while until you spoke. Like you could read my thoughts, you said, “This is not a fight from the start, so no, I didn't win. No one will.”

I jerked my head up to look at you. I thought you were mocking me but when I looked at your face, there’s no malice in it at all.

I could only stare at you, eyes b with tears, as you patted my head like the way you did when we first met. I was too surprised by the gesture to do anything else. “I’m sorry if I failed to look after you like I promised you and mom.” I furrowed my eyebrows. I didn’t understand what you were talking about. “I’m sorry if I was selfish. I know you don’t like being with me but I don’t think I can stay away now that I finally found the two of you. I missed you and mom so much. I wanted to search for you even before but father prevented me from doing so. And now that he left us and I finally had a chance to be united with the two of you, I couldn’t help myself. I couldn't stay away at all.” I was speechless. I still couldn’t understand you but I felt something inside me soften because of what you said. 

You looked away, watching the sunset before us while I stayed sitting beside you. I slumped on my knees, looking at you with a dumbfounded expression.

“I’m sorry if you thought I took everything away from you." You suddenly said. "I knew it was my fault for not explaining but I thought you’ll understand me as time goes by. I never thought things will come to this. I never meant to harm you. I’m sorry, Fany-ah.” You said and looked at me, eyes so gentle. So sisterly. “Please give your sister another chance to make it up for all those years she was not with you.” You said then you hugged me. You placed my head on your shoulder again before it gently. “Depend on me, like I always wished you will Fany-ah. I promise, I won’t let you two be separated from me again.”

Then everything in my sight blurred. Tears kept falling from my eyes. No matter how much I willed them to stop, they did not.

Slowly and unconsciously, I returned your hug. We stayed like that until I felt you pull slightly away and looked at me with a reassuring smile. “Let’s go home Fany-ah. Mom is waiting for us.” I nodded then you stood up and pulled me up. You walked ahead of me but I remembered something that has been bugging me ever since I learned pity. I pulled my hand away from your grip. You looked at me with a baffled expression.

“I still don’t get why you bring me to those events with you. You made me lonely, you know.” I said in a brittle voice, as I hung my head low trying to hide the pout that formed in my lips.

You shook your head before ducking down to meet my eyes. “It’s because you treated me badly all the time.” You answered. 

I tilted my head to the side unable to get your point then you smiled again. For a moment, I thought you and mom looked exactly the same.

“Even though you didn't like me, I was sure you were true to me, Fany-ah.  That's why I brought you with me. In the superficial world I live in, you were the only one I can turn my back to and expect that even without me looking at you, nothing will change.You're the person I need.”

You turned around and tugged my hand as we made our way to the car that would take us home. I stared at our hands the whole time thinking that Sun Tzu was right; the supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. Like what you did to me from the start.

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Fanart used is owned by Jellywing.