It had been a couple of weeks since Taecyeon told me he needed time apart, we still hung out every once in a while, but not like we used to, not like lovers.
I’m annoyed that Taecyeon takes so long to sort through his feelings, I mean, I get that it’s hard for him seeing as though both Jay and I sort of lied to him.
But to put it more correctly, Taecyeon is upset with Jay for abandoning him and making someone else look after him, pretty much giving him away.
And he’s upset with me for not telling him about the promise I made to Jay.
I know it’s so so hard on him, but this is hard on me too.
The man I love is still in love with his ex.
What do you think that does to me?
It makes me feel like .
“…” I mutter as I rub my face.
The past three days have been real busy and I haven’t really gotten to see any of my fellow members.
Luckily we have tomorrow off.
Though most of us will probably sleep the entire day.
Jeonggam yawns softly and paws at my pillow where he has been sleeping for I don’t know how many hours.
He looks at me with smiling eyes for a bit before he comes over and rubs against me.
It makes me chuckle a bit and I reach out to his silky fur.

While I was cuddling with my precious cat and wallowing in self-pity, the front door opens.
I didn’t hear the door but I heard a faint sound of someone talking, it sounded like Taecyeon.
I put Jeonggam aside before going to see who it was, and it didn’t really surprise me that it was Taecyeon, since I was pretty sure it had been his voice I heard.
He was talking on his cellphone, smiling and laughing.
I narrow my eyes a bit as I try to hear who he’s talking to, but he hangs up pretty soon after he sees me.
“Hey Chan,” he says in a casual tone.
“Hey…”
“So uh… How was your photoshoot?”
“It was alright…”
Awkward silence fills the entire dorms after I respond so coldly.
I keep an eye on Taecyeon, watching him rub his neck a bit awkwardly.
I could tell that he knew what I wanted to ask him, and I could also tell that he hadn’t figured out what he really wanted.
“Baby, I just. I need some more time,” Taecyeon finally says.
He try to act like I don’t really give a anymore because this whole needing time apart thing had really hurt me, but I wasn’t, I’m not strong enough to not care.
So Instead of huffing and rolling my eyes like I had planned to, I bite my lip and look down at the floor.
“I’ve been talking with Jay, and he seems to really still love me. And I know that you love me. I don’t want to hurt any of you. I don’t know what to do,” Taecyeon says in all honesty as he sees how sad I had gotten.
I felt like exploding at the mentioning of Jay and I wanted to punch Taecyeon for even saying his name out loud like that in front of me.
The anger raged inside of me.

Taecyeon steps forward and hugs me, I don’t move even though I really want to just shove him away and yell at him.
And eventually I put my arms around the older and hug him back as I bury my face in his shoulder.
“I miss you,” I whisper and I feel Taecyeon’s hold on me tighten.
“I miss you too boo,” he softly murmurs; “But I also miss Jay.”
Damn it Jay!
Why did you have to come back?
Things were so much better when he was gone.

When we break away from the hug Taecyeon smiles at me and ruffles my hair, knowing very well how much I hate it when he does that.
It makes me feel like a child.
“Let’s order pizza and watch a movie,” he says and I nod my head.
I wanted to spend time with my love, and I was rather hungry.
Taecyeon tells me to go find a movie to watch while he orders the pizza.
I wasn’t really in the mood to watch a movie though, so it was hard to choose one, but eventually I found one.
We didn’t start watching it until the pizza came though, because then we most likely wouldn’t have noticed its arrival.

A few slices into the pizza I can feel myself getting full.
I guess I wasn’t as hungry as I thought I were.
I watch Taecyeon continue to eat and pay attention to the movie.
It looked a lot like he was trying really hard to focus his attention on the movie, it made me smile.
And I think Taecyeon noticed me noticing his behavior because he looks over at me before laughing softly.
He returns my smile and as we sit there and smile at each other, I feel a blush creeping up on me and so I nudge him to make him go back to paying attention to the movie.
Taecyeon takes the hint and does what I want him to.
He sits back on the couch, puts his legs up on the table.
It looked real comfortable, and being the manly guy that I am, I do the same.
That’s when Taecyeon discreetly, at least he thinks it is discreet, stretches and then sneaks that one arm around my shoulders.
I don’t mind it of course and lean against him as we finish watching the move.
Though I am not paying attention to it one bit.
I think to myself that tomorrow I’ll have to go see Jay and put him in his place.
Nobody messes with my happiness, or Taecyeon’s.

Taecyeon stretches on the couch and softly groans as he pull away from me a little.
“Oh God, I’m beat…” he says as he glances at the clock hanging on the wall; “We should be turning in now anyway.”
I not my head and yawn a bit as I was rather tired too, I watch Taecyeon stand up before I do too.
“Um… Can I spend the night with you?” I ask him.
I really didn’t want to be alone tonight, especially since Taecyeon had been chatting with Jay.
“I think it would be for the best if we sleep by ourselves, at least till I’ve figured out all of this,” Taecyeon tells me, though he does not look at me and I feel a bit annoyed.
I mean, he could at least look at me while saying it, we’ve been going strong for what, 5 years now?
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” I tell him before I head to my room.
As angry as I am at him at this moment, I don’t want to start a fight.

Before I go to sleep, I think of what I’ll say to Jay and how I will say it.
Like, should I be angry, sad, cold or calm?

I get up the next morning before the sun rises.
I’ve been snooping on Taecyeon’s phone so I know where Jay lives, I only need to get there.
After having a shower and a short breakfast, I pet Jeonggam goodbye before sneaking off to confront Jay.
When I finally reach the apartment building it is already noon.
It takes me a couple of minutes to locate Jay’s buzzer, and when I press it, I receive an answer rather fast.
“Yeah who’s there?”
“It’s Chansung. We need to talk.”
“Ah that we must. I’ve been expecting you. Come on up,” Jay speaks in a rather pleasant tone.
I open the door and make my way up to his apartment when he lets me in.

Jay is standing in his doorway, waiting on me.
When I reach him, neither one of us says anything, Jay just steps aside to let me in.
As curious as I am, I take a moment to look about in the small hallway and the living room.
Jay walks passed me and leads the way to the living room, gesturing for me to take a seat on the couch.
I sit down, and my eyes continues to travel around in the stylish apartment.
We sit in silence for a while before Jay speaks up.
“I’m assuming you didn’t come here to apologize for stealing my boyfriend.”
My eyes lands on Jay when he says that, and I narrow them at him, letting it be known that I did not like what he said.
“I didn’t steal him. You abandoned him,” I spat back, causing Jay to look a bit startled.
He was obviously not prepared to hear such harsh words of truth.
“Taecyeon was happy without you in his life. You should have just let him be,” I continue when Jay seems to struggle to come up with a response to what I had said few seconds ago.
“Hey, that’s not fair. I still love him you know,” Jay says, wearing a frown.
“It doesn’t matter that you still love him. I love him, and he loves me back. We were in a relationship, a perfect one. If you truly loved him you wouldn’t have said anything and just let him be happy. That’s what love is about,” I tell Jay in a scolding tone.
“Perfect relationship? Oh please. If it was that perfect then how come you two are on a break now huh?”
Jay’s cocky response to my scolding caught me of guard and before I got the chance to even defend myself he continues to speak in that overly cocky tone that I have always hated.
“How come Taecyeon comes to me to talk about stuff that bothers him? If it truly is as perfect as you say it is, then why did Taecyeon have with me before going home last night?”
My eyes widens as Jay speaks, and I am pretty sure they’re just about ready to pop out of my scull.
This couldn’t possibly be true.
I refuse to believe this, Taecyeon would never.
As I struggle to find words Jay just laughs at me with that overly annoying teasing laugh of his.
“You know,” Jay starts to say while smirking at me; “If you don’t believe me then you should ask him.”
Yeah right!
Like that will help at all Jay.
Don’t think I don’t know what you’re trying to do.
He is obviously lying and now trying to get me to be the suspicious and possessive boyfriend, and when I ask Taecyeon he will deny it, and then I’ll keep pushing until we fight and then Taec’ll dump me and go be with Jay.
That’s NOT going to happen Jay!
Not in a million years!
As I think to myself like this, Jay stands up and leaves me.
He was obviously going to get something, and once he is out of sight the weight of what he had just said washes over me and it gets hard to breathe.
I gasp for air as it feels like I’m about to choke.
I didn’t want to believe what Jay said, but with the way Taecyeon has been acting lately I don’t know what to think anymore.

Hearing Jay return, I manage to get myself together and I just look at him coldly.
“So you obviously don’t believe me,” Jay says and I nod at his words.
“That’s right,” I tell him, keeping myself in check all the time so I wouldn’t break down again.
“Then how do you explain this,” Jay says as he holds up a thong and dangles it in front of my face tauntingly.
At first I just frown, because how the is a thong supposed to verify that Taecyeon had ?
But then I recognize it.
It was Taecyeon’s.
And how I know is not any surprise at all because this is the one I got for him for our anniversary last year.
Yeah I bought my boyfriend a thong for our anniversary, don’t judge me, I am after all a man.
Anyway, upon realizing the thong belonged to Taecyeon, I try to grab it, but of course Jay has to be too quick pulling it away.
“Aww, what’s the matter Channie did you realize only now that your boyfriend has been cheating on you?” Jay babies me in a taunting way as he smirks.
My face turns red from anger and I stand up.
“Give it back. It doesn’t belong to you,” I snarl at the older, which makes him glare at me in a challenging way,
God I wanted to punch him so bad.

We stand like this for a moment before I move towards Jay, grabbing for the thing again, and since Jay is much smaller than I am it is a very easy task.
Once I had taken the thong back Jay tries to further aggravate me, and I got pretty close to punching him in the face.
I had him grabbed by the collar of his hoodie and held up against the wall, first ready to make contact with that so called pretty face of his when I saw it.
Jay was smirking, SMIRKING!
He wanted me to punch him so he could tell Taec and make him dump me.
“You’re not even worth it,” I hiss as I lift him up by the collar and throw him onto the couch.
“Worm,” I growl before turning to walk away.
I stuff the thing into my pocket as I exit the apartment and then the building.

On my way back to the dorms, my hands are shaking and I feel pretty damn close to crying.
Why would Taecyeon do such things to me?
I had never treated him bad or unfairly.
I have never even done anything remotely bad enough to deserve such pain and heartache.
Reaching the dorms I rub at my eyes, just to make sure there were no tears to give away my inner feelings before going inside.
The dorm was surprisingly quiet at this hour and so I decide to check up on the guys.
I stick my head into every single room, and to my relief I find all of them sleeping, even Taecyeon.
I stay in his doorway for a while, thinking of what to do.
Jay would probably call him any moment now and tell him some crazy lie about me.
I wonder to myself if I should confront Taec, hand him the evidence and tell him what Jay had said or just not say anything.
It takes me a while to decide what to do, and when I finally do, Taecyeon starts to stir.
It won’t be long now until he wakes up, just a couple of seconds to be exact.
I walk into the room as I pull the thong out of my pocket, I put it on the night stand where I know Taecyeon will see it the second he wakes.
I leave the room in a hurry and carefully close the door seeing as though Taecyeon will wake up just about now.

I walk down the hallway to my own room, but I don’t bother to go back to bed as I am hoping for Taecyeon to come looking for me when he finds his thong.
A heavy sigh leaves me as I spread out on bed, Jeonggam coming to accompany me only moments later.
Then we wait.
Wait for Taecyeon to wake up and see the thong.
Wait for him to come into my room and explain,
Waiting to get my heart broken by the ugly truth that I am hoping is nothing but a big fat lie that Jay has cooked up.
I hold my breath when I hear the door handle turning.
This was it.
The moment of truth…