Month 10

It's around the time when I could already crawl and sometimes walk, but only by cruising along the furnitures....that's the day my mummy receives a call from my grandpa. All of my daddies are not at home at the time, and while I'm busy practicing my steps, eomma's phone suddenly rings. I recognize the ringtone, of course. She was at the kitchen, preparing my meal. When she heard the call, she quickly rushes over to the living room. I stand against the coffee table, looking down at the ringing machine. 

"Mama?" I ask her. "Nugu?" I've learnt a lot of new words since then. Mummy pinches my cheek when I ask her. I guess she thinks it's cute.

"Mollayo." Nichkhun answered his daughter. He checked the screen and realized that it was an unknown number but nevertheless, picked up the call and greeted, "Hello?"

"Son." The caller responded and Nichkhun froze, suddenly aware of his father's voice.

"Dad..."

It had been almost a year since Nichkhun talked to his father. Before the Thai got pregnant, they were always in a heated argument whenever they met, and it was always about money. Nichkhun could somehow predict where this conversation would lead him. Money. When was it never about those green stuff?

"Son." The old man started. "I need your help."

"What is it this time, dad?" Nichkhun asked coldly. He had had enough of all this. Lauren tugged on his apron, watching him with curious eyes.

"I've got into a lot a trouble lately. They're coming after me. I wasn't planning to ask you for help, not after the last argument..." His dad trailed off, searching for the right words. "But I really need your help right now." There was a desperate urgency in his voice, and Nichkhun noticed it.

"How much did you pilfer from them this time?"

"You know I don't steal money, son. I just borrowed a couple of baht here and there. And well..." The old man hesitated, and this annoyed Nichkhun a lot. He balled his free hand into a fist as he waited for his dad to speak out the figure.

But when the old man hesitated some more, he yelled into the receiver, "How much?!"

"Three million baht." His dad muttered. Nichkhun jaw-dropped instantly. He blinked his eyes a few times, unable to believe the extravagant figure.

"THREE MILLION BAHT?! For what?!"

"Son, calm down. Well, remember the 70 thousand baht I owed to that old loanshark? I had to borrow money from someone else to pay him back. And the interest doubled since then. They cheated me! I was promised a 1% interest if I could pay back on time. But when I wanted to pay back, the interest was at 100%. So now, I'm swimming in debts."

Nichkhun felt his body tensed. There was a catch. Nothing about his father could be trusted anymore. "Dad...how long did you take to pay back those debts that you promised?"

"You know I can't help gamble a few thousand. I was so sure I could make it big this time. So when the money disappeared, I had to replenish it before I could pay anyone back."

"How did you replenish it?" Nichkhun was on the verge of slamming his phone down. This was just unacceptable. His dad hesitated for a moment and then said in a low voice, "I borrowed some more."

"So basically, you've been borrowing money around to pay unsettled debts?" Nichkhun asked, gritting his teeth. When the old man refused to answer, saying it was his right to do what he wanted, Nichkhun had completely lost it. He practically screamed into the phone, startling the little angel still tugging on his apron. "YOU USELESS PIECE OF ! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TELL ME THIS WHEN YOU'RE THE ONE CALLING FOR HELP! NOW YOU'RE KNEE DEEP IN DEBTS AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS 'I HAVE MY OWN RIGHT?!' HUH, I SHOULD JUST KILL YOU AND BE DONE WITH THIS. WHAT THE DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO ANYWAY, OLD MAN?!"

"DON'T RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME, BOY! I brought you into this world and I want you to respect me!"

"I will respect you the day you snap out of this. If you expect me to help you, you can forget about it. I'm done with all this. Heed my words, I'm DONE WITH THIS!" He remembered the days he and his brother had to suffer to pay off their father's debts. Strangers kept appearing in their lives, wrecking havoc and instilling fear in them. But the boys soon learned to live life the hard way and it made them stronger. It made them forget the pain they suffered. They tried to cut ties from their father, but for some reason, the old man kept coming back. Afraid for their mother and sisters' lives, Nichan and Nichkhun made a promise to bear a responsiblity together as long as Mrs. Horjevkul, Yanin and Chereen lived a normal life. Nichkhun thought he was out of that responsibility after the last argument, but apparently not. 

Just as he was about to end the call, his father suddenly brought out an issue that made his blood cold. "Son, I know about Lauren."

"What did you just say?"

"I said, I know about Lauren. I know I'm not the most perfect dad in the world..." The old man trailed off, and Nickhun retorted sarcastically in his head, "Yeah, the whole world knows that." His heart was beating fast, and suddenly he couldn't breathe properly. He looked down at his daughter, at her tear-stained face, hoping...no, praying that his dad wouldn't start involving her into this matter, but the inevitable was about to happen. His father continued, "Son, if they can't find me, they will find you. They know I have a son, and they know you're in Korea. They will know about Lauren. I can't stop them when they start hurting you. And her, for that matter. So you don't a choice right now."

Nichkhun controlled the choke in his voice as he asked, "What guarantee can you give me anyway if I go over to Thailand right now? How could you be sure they won't touch her?" He mentally kicked himself for allowing this weakness in him to pull through for a second, but he was getting desperate. He would do anything for Lauren right now, even if it meant taking his own life. Even if it meant trusting his father.

"They won't." The old man said. "They just need to see you and be sure you could pay my debts. Maybe you could get some bank loans"

The Thai closed his eyes and thought about this. He didn't want to leave Lauren all by herself. The other guys would be too busy to take care of her, but bringing her along was definitely a no go. His mother would probably refuse to care for her too. No, Lauren had to stay in Korea, and he would simply have to trust the guys on this. There was no other choice.

"Fine, old man. I'll go over tomorrow and think about the plans then. But if those sharks dare to lay a finger on my daughter, I swear to God, I would murder you myself." He warned into the receiver. There was no respond from his father. "And after this is over, I will personally throw you into prison for dragging me in. I have the right at least. If you start bullting me on some father-son mumbo jumbo, you can just forget about my help and I can throw you into prison right now. I hope you're clear on this."

"Son, someday you'll regret those words."

"Probably, but only because you're my dad. For now, I stand my ground." Nichkhun ended the call before his dad could say anything else. He dropped his phone on the table and kneeled down in front of his daughter. Tears were pooling in his eyes. God, he felt so helpless. Lauren cupped his face in her hands. "Mama? Cry?"

And then the tears fell. "Yes baby, mama cry." He pulled her into a tight embrace and held her still. Lauren couldn't understand the situation, but she let her mother hold her nevertheless. "Baby, promise me you'll be good. Listen to your daddies okay?"

"Appa?"

"Hm..." He pulled back from the embrace and stared at her face. "Appas. Listen to them, okay? Promise me?"

"Yag...sog." Lauren muttered softly, staring at her mother's face. What's going on, mummy? Why are you crying? Who hurt you? A lot of questions go through my head at the time, but mummy simply makes me promise to listen to my daddies and refuses to tell me anymore.

"Thank you, baby." He placed a soft kiss on her forehead and combed back a few strands of hair from her face with his fingers. "Anyway, time for lunch. Your Appa Nuneo and Appa Channie should be back soon." Nichkhun got up and picked Lauren up in his arms. "Appa...Nuno? Appa Chan."

"Hm...Appa Nuno and Appa Chan." Nichkhun repeated, amused. He wiped away the tears on his face and brought her to the kitchen. For now, he just focused on feeding her. He will discuss this matter with the guys tonight

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When the others were finally home and dinner was served, they sat around the rectangular kitchen table and ate peacefully. Wooyoung offered to feed Lauren as he fed himself. There were two dishes of chicken, one cooked in gravy and the other fried, three dishes of vegetables, and a big bowl of soup. Nichkhun learned how to cook ever since Lauren was born, using his spare time in between juggling house chores and caring for Lauren. The guys always look forward to his meals, not only because eating out would be expensive, but because his food was actually quite delicious.

That night, however, the Thai had no appetite. He simply stared at his plate of rice, wondering which dish he should try out first. His eyes were on the food, but his attention was on the mess he had gotten himself into. What should I tell the guys?

Sensing something was wrong, Wooyoung asked first. "What's wrong, Khunnie? How come you're not eating?"

The others looked up and saw Nickhun's plate of rice. "Hyung, aren't you hungry?" Taecyeon asked between drumsticks.

"I'm...yeah, I'm hungry. I just don't know what to eat first."

"That's weird. You cooked these dishes." Minjun said. "Why don't you start with the chicken? This mushroom gravy one is quite good." He suggested it because that was the only dish he had touched so far. And he liked it a lot.

Nichkhun furrowed his eyebrows and rested his head against his palm. "Ah...I don't feel like it." He mumbled, sighing a little.

They didn't know what to say to him. Wooyoung was getting worried. "What's wrong, baby?" He asked again. They all stared at him with an expectant look, waiting for an answer.

Nichkhun eventually gave up and muttered, "My grandmother passed away this morning and my mum called." He lied. If he told the truth about his father, they would probably try to stop him. Heck, they would definitely stop him from going back to Thailand. But he couldn't stop. Not when Lauren was in danger. Minjun and Wooyoung were already working hard to earn a living. This would put all of them in a train of mess. There was no way Nichkhun would allow that. "I need to attend the funeral tomorrow. And I don't think I can bring Lauren with me."

"Why not? We can all go with you." Junho said, only to be hushed by Minjun. "Ok, except Minjun-hyung and Wooyoung."

"I'm sorry, Junho. But this is strictly a family matter. I don't know if my mother would be okay about it." It hurt Nichkhun to lie like this. He couldn't drag the guys down with him.  

"I understand." Junho remarked. "If you need anything, you can ask me."

"Thanks, dear. Can I trust you guys to take care of Lauren?"

"Why do you even need to ask us?" Minjun asked, amused. "Taking care of Lauren is like second nature."

"That's because each of you have a life to attend to. You and Woo have work. Taec will be busy with an upcoming game in a month. Ho and Channie are having exams next month, so I assume your schedules are pretty tight for the next few days."

Junho and Chansung looked down at their food, speechless. Nichkhun was right. With exams coming up, there was no way these boys could take care of a child. Wooyoung and Minjun were also wondering how they could juggle their work with their personal lives. There was no way any of them could bring the child to the office. It meant temporary suspension or worse, getting fired. And right now, money was what they needed the most to survive. Taec, however, assured Nichkhun that he would try to rearrange his schedule in order to fit Lauren in.

Nichkhun let out a relieved sigh when the big guy mentioned his plan. "So it's settled then. I've already booked the flight leaving for Thailand at 2PM tomorrow."

"Tomorrow's a Saturday. So we'll see you off then. Anyway, tonight's Friday night, guys." Minjun remarked enthusiastically. "Anyone up for poker?"

"Hyung! Khunnie's grandma just passed away." Taecyeon scolded him.

"It's okay, Taec. I don't mind a game." Nichkhun interrupted. The others were shocked at his reply, but no one judged him. This is the last night I get to play poker with you guys before I go back. I might as well win. The Thai looked over at Wooyoung and saw the worried expression on the younger guy's face. He knew that Wooyoung knew he had been lying. The younger guy always knows.

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Once poker ended, it was time for bed. Wooyoung put Lauren into her crib and dragged Nichkhun to the bed. "Tell me." It was all he said, and it unravelled the twist in Nichkhun's guts.

"I'm sorry for lying." The Thai muttered softly.

"We're past that point. You know I forgive you. But why would you lie? And what's the truth?"

"It's my dad...."Nichkhun trailed off, not meeting Wooyoung's gaze. "He's got a three million debt on his shoulders and if I don't do anything to help him, he said Lauren would be in danger."

"And you believe him?!" Wooyoung knew about Nichkhun's dad very well. Heck, he once paid off the old man's debts just to get the bastard off his back. "You should know better. What makes you so sure Lauren wouldn't be in danger if you actually helped him out?"

"I was desperate, Wooyoung! I didn't know what was right and wrong. I just wanted everything to stop. I don't want Lauren to get hurt because of me. Hell, I'm doing this because I don't want YOU to get hurt too. You're already working so hard to provide for our baby. I just...I can't...." He sobbed quietly, using his sleeves to wipe the tears away.

Wooyoung watched his lover for a long time and felt weak. There was nothing he could do. Who in the world could raise three million baht in one night? "I want to go with you, but I can't. I hate myself for being so helpless. The only thing I can promise you is that I will take good care of Lauren until you come back." He scooted nearer and placed both his arms around the Thai. "Shh..don't cry, baby. You can do this. We will pull through together. Alright? So don't worry about Lauren."

"O-ok." Nichkhun choked, his body trembling slightly. He breathed in Wooyoung's scent and made it linger in his memories. "I-I love you, Woo."

"I love you too, Khunnie."

They kissed each other on the lips passionately after that, drowning away all the sorrows and worries they had for each other in a tight embrace, and hoping that tomorrow never comes.

But it came.

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