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There was one room left and I wasn’t sure whether to enter it or not. 

 

 

 

 

I entered the room and it was as neat as it was the last time i entered the room. Black bed sheets in the White wall-ed room, nice modern setting. Closet with clothes on the left with the door to the bathroom; Vanity on the right.

 

I walked towards the closet, remembering where Seunghyun had shown me a drawer for my stuff. I saw that a third of the closet was empty with just hangers, and opening the drawers, i saw that they were empty too.

 

 

However, there was a box there and I opened it to see some items piled in it. Accessories, books and clothes even. These must be the things that Jiyong was suppose to get, or the things they wanted to keep from me.

 

Pulling the box out of the closet, I sat beside it, picking up a dress right on top of everything. 

 

It was a deep purple, one sleeve dress. It was gorgeous. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I looked at the dress again, sighing as i remember the date we went on. He brought me to this high class restaurant and I made a fool out of myself when I couldn’t eat the lobster that he ordered for me. But he laughed it off and helped me instead. But knowing that I was uncomfortable, he brought me to the ice cream parlour near our apartment for dessert after, despite our high-life attire, to end the date comfortably. 

 

I folded the dress and placed it at the side before reaching into the box again. This time i pulled out a book and smiled as my hand brushed over the cover. 

 

 

There was a picture of the both of us under those words, with our tongues out and we just looked so silly, I let out a giggle. I opened the book to see Seunghyun’s handwriting and I once again traced it with my fingers. 

 

 

 

I remembered that it was when he couldn’t spend our half year anniversary with me. I told him it was fine and that I understood, but he still felt bad about it. I remember getting it delivered to the stylists room with a bouquet of flowers. He was just so sweet and of course, I used the book. 

 

I flipped open the book and saw a page with my messy handwriting, quickly reading that page. I was so angry when I wrote it, and it could be seen from how hard I wrote in the book. 

 

It was close to our 1st Anniversary and there were rumours going on about SeungHyun and this actress. We were still a secret (I have no idea how we kept it for so long) but no one outside the company knew about us and the rumours were getting to me. I was feeling insecure about myself and SeungHyun giving me space was not helping it at all.

 

I was so angry with myself that I vented into the book all the insecurities that I felt about our relationship : how I thought Seunghyun could do better; that he could leave me for someone more successful, prettier and popular; how I believed his fans would never accept me to be with their Oppa; how our relationship could be just placed at the side of his career; that one day, he will realised that our relationship is not worth it and that he would just give up on me and just focus solely on his career. 

 

Seunghyun found me sleeping, hugging the book, when he came to look for me at my apartment. I remembered waking up to be holding another book and it was Seunghyun’s. He had bookmarked a page and I opened it to find he had done the same thing I did and wrote down all his insecurities down as well. He was worried that I would get fed up with him not being around all the time; that someone who was more constant would appear in my life and that I would feel safer with whoever that might be. He was worried that when he wasn’t around, other guys would realised how pretty and nice I was and try to steal me from him. He believed that he wasn’t deserving of me and could never be a good enough boyfriend. 

 

He had full ownership of my heart from that moment, and I realised, even as I was reading through the book and remembering the times, that he still had it. 

 

And unknowingly, tears had started to form and I was already crying through the memories and smiles. 

 

I went through the box, seeing clothes and accessories, cards and pictures of the 2 of us, all triggering different small memories of our relationship together. I know I didn’t remember everything, but what I remembered was enough to tell me that what we had was something no one would have been able to take away from us. And I had destroyed it, unwittingly and unknowingly, because of my amnesia. And I could tell that Seunghyun was taking full blame for whatever happened to me. 

 

Tears rained down involuntarily, with the thoughts of never ever seeing him again and being unable to make up to him crashing in like an unstoppable tsunami. Unable to go through the pain together, to know that he still loved me just as much I found myself loving him. 

 

As I started putting everything back, there was an item at the bottom of the box that caught my eye. I pulled out the bracelet. It was beaded, and had engravings on the side. It was of a lion with a mermaid’s tail and I realised that I had seen this logo before.

 

 

It was from one of the other asian countries…

 

SINGAPORE! 

 

But I couldn’t remember anything as I stared at the bracelet through my tears. Did I travel with him? Did he bring it back for me? I didn’t know what it was but the bracelet drew me to it. I put it on, placing everything else in the box. My head was starting to throb from the remembering all that I did and I was feeling very weak. 

 

 

I reached for my phone and quickly answered it. 

 

“KiEun-ah! Let’s have dinner!” I heard the cheery voice of Bom Unnie.

 

“Sure Unnie, can you come and get me from SeungHyun’s house? I’m having a headache.” 

 

“Omo, what are you doing there? okay okay, I’ll come get you!” She hung up on me and I quickly made my way downstairs to the kitchen. 

 

I opened the second drawer to the right to take out the medicine box. I don’t know how I knew, I just did. I found the mini box of already cut up pills and quickly ate the panadol before going to the couch to rest and wait for Bom Unnie to come get me. 

 

 

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I can't believe it has been like 4 months since I actually updated. :/ I'm so sorry. 

 

I don't know if there's many people still reading this, but thank you. It's actually going to end soon... I still feel like I'm going to end it before 12 Chapters, but we shall have to see how the rest of the story turns out yeah? :) 

 

If you're still reading and waiting for this, I thank you for your patience and I hope that you can continue to hold on as i do my best to finish this story! 

 

Thank you :)

 

Much much love,

Jessi.