changmin following his father car , his mind keep thinking a thousand question, a question he never could figure it out since his child, the question surrounding him, make the sad and broken feeling came from deep inside his heart.   ‘why, why , to believe in reality is this hard, why, why umma, you have to come back to our life in this way, when my wound was dried, when everything seems going well without you, when appa look fine, i’m worried, i’m sad, you know that umma, you’re my umma,do you know that i love you?’   The tears rolling down, changmin just drive his car instingly, the streets seems blur in his eyes,cover with the tears,he bites his lips to suppress his cry. Yunho drive his car fastly, he tighten his grip around the steers, loosen it , he hit the steers numerously, tighten it again.   ‘is that really you?.you? really you jaejoongie? Why you, why now? Why, do you know that i miss you? Do you know that i never forget you? Do you know that you was broke my heart into a pieces? Do you know that i can’t love anybody anymore,do you know that in my heart just you? Just you. Why i have to love a (my jaejoong) like you? Yes, you are ing (my lovely jaejoong)’   Yunho parked his car and following by changmin who’s arrived after him, he come in to his house ,lest the door open because he know that changmin behind him, yunho sit on the couch in the living room, changmin walk slowly, his head down, seeing his own shoes, avoid his father eyes even his father didn’t look at him.   “changmin, where you want to go?”   Yunho called him right after he passed his father , going straight to his bedroom .   “i want to sleep”   Changmin answered his father weakly.   “sit, i want to talk with you”   Changmin hesitate to sit or to keep avoid his father and just in to his bedroom, he walk slowly approaching his father and sit beside him , still lowered his head.   “how did you know them?”   Yunho asked him with the coldest tone he ever hear from his father voice, he know that his father grit his teeth to hold his angry, or may be sad, or to keep his cool in from on him, changmin not really know.he keep silent, he don’t know how to explain, and he don’t want to explain it at all, it’s gonna be bad.   “do you hear me jung changmin? Answer me.”   Yunho look at him and hold his shoulder, grip it, changmin whined and still lowered his head, the tears builds up.   “do you want to keep this for me forever? Hide her from me?”   Yunho shake his shoulder forcely.   “answer me..!”   “i don’t know eaither appa”   Changmin answer it slowly yet hesitately.   “don’t lie to me..tell me!”   yunho shake his body again.   “i don’t know about them !!!”   Changmin losting yunho grip from his shoulder.   “yah, you..so, that’s true, you want to hide that from me?”   “i really don’t know anything..don’t say that bad words toward my mother”   “she is not your mother.........! not !”   “yes she is...”   Changmin answer his father shorlty before come to his room and slammed the door behind him.   “she is not your mother ..she is a ....!!!!!”   Yunho folowing him and knock his door harsly.   “open this ing door changmin, i want you to tell me me the truth..how long you have met that ..how comes?! where”   yunho shout angryly in front changmin door, changmin throw his body on his bed and take the pillow to cover his ears, he is really confused and shocked and the bad part is his father get him wrongly.   ‘why you blame me appa?,i don’t know, i’m surely didn’t know about them. I don’t know that karam mother is umma, i’m hurt too appa, don’t blame me about this, this is not my fault we have to met umma again.this is not my fault, how i explain to you?’   Tired from forced changmin to talk, yunho left changmin room and going straight to dining room.   he took a vase on the table and throw it on the floor until it break down.he come to refrigrant took a glass of water, before he finish drinking it, the flash of  yoochun face with jaejoong clinging on him make yunho throw the glass in his hand to the floor again, he watch a pieces of glass on the floor, the flash of their last fight before jaejoong leave ,reflection in it , he took that piece and throw it on the window , he want that window glass to be break  like the vase and the glass, like his heart, but it didn’t happen, too tight to break it just by the pieces of glass, he look at the glass of window , he remember clearly , this is jaejoong favorite place, she like to stand there, watching the moon light in the middle of night when she took a glass of water after their hot , yunho will following her and stand behind her and hug her from behind, they will watch the moon together , he approaching the window angrily and hitting it hard, with all of his strange, all of his sadness, broken heart, old wound, the glass of window broke, also his fist.   “leave me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”   He hold his chest with his bleeding hand , the blood staining his shirt, he sit in front the broken window, the wind hit his wound make he realize about the woud in his hand, he look at the messy room he left behind, he whisper slowly to himself.   “love, leave from my heart like the owner of this feeling leave me, leave me alone,don’t ever comeback, forget me, like your owner forgot me”   He sit like a child, holding his knee and look at the nigt sky, waiting the moon to come.   ‘love, this is not love, this is a pain, pain, jaejoongie you know that you leave me a pain? Why you’re so y? Why you planting this love in my heart and left me to growing it up by myself,you choose my heart to playing around, why me? May be I’m not a young man like you know for 19 ago,but the love you planting on me was growing up, and now born a pain fruit, a hates fruit from your love toward yourself, it’s weird, weird you can live without me, when i’m dying here’   ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++   “umma , who’s them?