I never could forget that. Somehow I wanna barf to my old self. Why I act like that I don’t even know and understand. It just happened. Tiffany has that kind of force that forces me to act like that.

Well, I make that excuse, so I don’t sound so stupid.

My new room was great.

At least I got my own room. Finally.

My room has a small kitchen set and small bathroom. When I say small, it really small. Just a sink and a mini kitchen table to put portable stove. But its okay. At least I can cook ramyun everyday. Haha.

And bathroom was tiny too, got sink, shower room and closet. Well tiny but have it all.

The bed was facing the hills. Hm. I love it. The endless line of skies. Beautiful.

Sister got different room. In different building. On different part of town. I’m so happy.

And mom and dad were leaving after make sure each of us make up our room to the cleanest.

Well, being alone in this town, in this building, in this room, has its own sparks.

But to think that tomorrow I have to face the school alone was kinda, uhm, frightening? Scary? Anxious? Something in between.

I hope they won’t see me as nerd anymore. And hope that Tiffany would change her mind and call me tonight.

--

Night comes and I got beautiful view here.

But somehow it feels empty without knowing that Tiffany would be there across the street.

I really wanna call her. To just hear her beautiful voice. I miss her.

My phone had been ringing non-stop from mom. She nagged me about my room, how to clean it, and have to clean it every day, do homework, got a good score, tidy up, be a good kid, don’t befriend bad kid, and all that jazz.

I just say yea, yea,  yea, yea. Not really payed attention anyway.

Just one more year and I go to college. Hope Fany would go to this town’s university too. Or I can go to her university instead.

--

That night I dream about her.

A dream that I don’t really remember about because it feels so unrealistic and well, too beautiful that left me in the dazed even after I tried to blink couple of times. Then couple of minutes later the dream start to vanish little by little. The more I tried to grasp it, the more the dream slipped away.

Always like that.

I miss her suddenly. It’s a cold night. Even with the thick blanket mom bought I still couldn’t stop my shivers.

--

Today is the first day of my senior life. Somehow I can feel that today isn’t gonna be a good day. First time always be a bad thing to me. I don’t understand why.

I was so nervous. My body feel like burning and I can’t stop my foot to shake so much. I hate this feeling. Vulnerable. Like can’t do something. Under pressure.

I couldn’t sleep well so I woke up really early. My heart feel like wanna exploded into tiny pieces.

As I prepared my breakfast, which is cereal and chocolate milk, I kept staring at my phone’s screen. Why she didn’t call me? Didn’t she miss me? This cutie little kid? Hm? Hm?

Beep

Oh, text message. Maybe mom. Nagging me to eat. So I grabbed my phone and check it. Uh? Not from mom’s number.

Fany?

Oh, Sunny.

Yo, what’s up? Mornin’

Mornin’. Gr8. U?

Same. Fany s8 hello 2

Oh? Really?

Nah, kiddin’

Lol. have a good day kiddo

Sigh. U too. you.

Thanks. lol

-----

a/n : its morning here and tomorrow i got super duper important deadline. soooooo.. ciao

i named it part 5.1 cus it's too short to be an update. some italics means text messages some is not. uhm. please figure it by urselves lol. sorry.