I sat on the floor, waiting for the telephone would ring and filled my ears with something i’ve been waiting for so long. Well not that long, like entire my life, but when waited something you really wanted and really treasured and really, like really really loved, then a couple of months maybe felt like couple of centuries already. My room already emptied, all my stuffs that packed this room before already packed in many, many boxes, outside in the living room ready to be picked up and sent somewhere. Somewhere I didn’t really give a . My entire life is here, heck, my entire soul is here, here in this very house, here in this very street, and, well, in that very person that lived just across the street.

And then I have to go. What will this leave me then? An empty body? A Body with brain and without heart and soul? How great is that sound, huh? Sigh. And yet this damn phone won’t ring. She said she will call me, and usually when she said she will then she will fulfill it. But maybe this time is the time when she just don’t want to do that. Maybe something bother her, or me bother her. Or, or maybe nothing bother her. I don’t know, she won’t tell me her heart, won’t tell me what inside of her thick skull.

God, I miss her already. Is this weird? But I am weird, so that will make my thought is not weird, right? Because I’m weird so when do something weird it become normal, do you get the logic? It’s okay if you don’t, I will understand it, somehow.

And then this damn phone still won’t ring. I don’t have her phone number, I should have just squeeze it out from her long time ago when I still have a little power over her deadly aegyo and eye-smile. Goddamnit. I will just slip a letter under her door then before dad come and drag me out of here. Sigh. I’m not even good at making a sentence in language class, any language.

Dad said he will pick us up at twelve from his office; he took half day off if I’m not mistaken. Even when the day of the moved out day he still doing his office thing. What a father, an overworked father, oh I’m so proud, right, so proud. Sigh. I hate moving day, it’s so depressing and everything will come back to me, like broken film, even the most useless memory will still crawl back to deepest part of my brain. Oh god, I feel dejavu already.

I think I will just start do that letter. Uhm, let’s start with searching for a paper. I don’t collect fancy stationeries nor do I use colorful paper. I like my pen in black or blue ink than in that rainbow color, ugh. And I like to use plain paper, in A4 size. But all my plain paper already packed inside whichever box outside. Oh, I think I still have a notebook inside my bag, will just use that then.

So I’ve got my paper and my favorite black pen. Let’s start with first word. I twirled my pen mindlessly.

To my dear lovely Fany. Ugh too cheesy. Scratch that.

To Fany. Yeap that’s just sound right.

To Fany.

Hey! I thought you said you will call but the call never come! Uhh… sounds so angry, will she angry too? Aw screw you brain, just let my heart and hand doing their stuff okay. Autopilot mode : ON

To Fany,

Hello sweetheart, I’ve been waiting for you to call, but unfortunately it never comes. Well maybe something is wrong, but that’s okay. You know, you can’t call me anymore, at least to my home phone number. So here is my handphone number, I don’t know why you don’t want to use my handphone number, but that’s okay, you’re a mystery to me and well, yeah you’re so mysterious, I don’t know what to do sometimes. So here is it. 010-8989-3981 I hope you will call me sometimes in the future. You know I don’t have a friend here and surely not there, hope you will accompany me for maybe a couple of months before I found some friends? If I could do some socialization, that is. But I promise I won’t ditch you once I’ve got friend though.

Hm, so this is it huh? I miss you. Haha. Write it down is a lot much easier than say it out loud. This is the first time I said that to you, well, write it out I mean. But you know, I mean it.

If you wanna spend your holiday there, I mean to my future town, then let me know and I will try to drive you around and accompany you to lost together, if my dad let me use his car. I mean I don’t really walk around the city much without friend. You are always the one who drag me around here, but I enjoyed every time of it.

Don’t laugh at me! I know this letter is . My language score is worse than you, so give me some credit here. I’m racking my brain, well not my brain since I put it on autopilot, but I’m squeeze my heart to extract some good words to you even this ended up being a pointless letter. I don’t know what to say and right know the paper is nearly full. My handwriting is bad, as bad as that kid from 5^th grade you point at when we saw him doing his homework on the table beside us in our favorite ice cream shop.

So…. I will waiting for your texts, or calls, or miscalls, or tweet, or chats or anything from you, even some signal you sent me through the telepathy. I will surely miss you, even if you don’t. sigh, I’m so bad at this.

With love and hugs and poke and punch and….. kiss I end this crappy letter.

-Taeyeon

I turned off my autopilot and read my letter again. Literally, I sneered. I wanna puke. It sounds so cheesy and so not me. I wanna just crumpled it into a ball and throw it to a flaming fire. Instead, I fold it and put it inside an envelope I’ve made from different paper I torn from my notebook. Don’t mind the look, I mean visual can lie, you know, like the quote says ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’ so I make my own quote : ‘don’t judge a letter by its envelope’. On the envelope I write down her full name and my just-made quote.

To : Tiffany Hwang ‘Miyoung’

Don’t judge a letter by its envelope

Sounds great right? Haha. Hey! Don’t judge me nor my letter okay!

So I pick up my letter and run into the street. Well I’m not going to kill myself when I say run into the street, this neighborhood’s street is never crowded nor drivers race their car like in highway. So no, car didn’t run into me and I’m pretty much alive. Heck, I still want to enjoy my life a little longer anyway, to see that eye-smile much often than before, if I can. I could already see her house. I don’t know what her family think when they choose the paint color. It’s pink for god’s sake. Thank god it’s not hot pink, but still, it’s pink. Maybe her family falls for her charm deeper than I am, or maybe she secretly paint her own house with pink color when her family asleep. I don’t know. I never know her little details, that’s why I still curious about her. I want to know a little bit more.

She lives alone with her brother this year. Since her parent decide to spend their retired time in countryside and build a mini farm and buy couples of livestock. Her brother already at his last semester in college, and he likes to go to gym, that’s explain that huge biceps of his, like nearly as big as Kim Joong Kook. I nearly scream when saw that. Sometimes when I saw him, I poke his biceps, two times max, and squeal like a maniac then run for my life. His brother likes to glare at me, but I think because he finds me cute.

Anyway, right now I already stood in front of her doorstep. I squat and ready to launch my letter in to the gap between concrete floors and door while stick my tongue in concentration.

“Hey, what are you doing?” I jumped and fall on my butts.

“Yah! You scared me” I raised my voice to whoever disturbs me.

“What are you doing on my doorstep?” I open my eyes that instant. Oh my god! It’s her. And she caught me red-handed. Oh, well, here comes trouble….. FOLLOW ME! OH O-O-E-YOH..

Damn my brain, why play a song inside my head in this crisis situation. But I love that group, and that song always plays in my mind in many unexpected situations.

“Taeyeon?”

“O-Oh?” damn, she caught me off-guard. “Oh, nothing, just checking a bug taking dump on your doorstep” so smooth Taeyeon, so smooth. I want to facepalm myself.

“What?! Bug?! ING KILL IT TAEYEON!” Tiffany took three big steps backwards and my face fell.

“it’s gone, Tiffany. See you….. next holiday then” my tone suddenly turn melancholy.

“Oh, thank goodness”

“What? You’re glad to see me next holiday? What a friend you are” I pout.

“What? No! You and your stupidly idiot head, Taeyeon”

“Hey! Watch the language please” I nearly slap her across the face, I might do that if she’s not this pretty and I’m not this lovesick.

“What? You are. Well, to get this straight, I’m not glad to see you next holiday, and…. Take care when you get there?” Tiffany turn the knob, I don’t even see her fish her keys from her bag. I stare my piece-of- letter and remember my actual reason.

“Here some words from me, just hope you don’t burn it or throw it to trash can. Read it when you could” she side eyeing me, maybe don’t believe her eyes and ears since I never write letter.

“Don’t shot me that look. I shut down my brain. So be seeing you, I may be missing your presence and stubbornness later. Or may be not” I shake her hand and run into my house, I forget to close my door apparently when I run into the street before.

–-----------------

a/n : my first attempt, uhm, not really first, but surely first time i post it somewhere up here. please bear my grammar as i still learning using it and my vocab is still so little.

to write a fanfiction, do we need to use past tense or present tense? i heard somewhere in the past that we should use past tense? help me please?