I stare at my home phone and my handphone which lay beside each other in front of me, still expecting one of them ring. Sigh, two minutes to twelve, but dad surely won’t come at twelve, maybe around two since he never punctual when it comes to me. My mom was downstairs; making God-knows-what, maybe some snack for the long ride. My sister, I don’t know, maybe meet some friends downtown. We never get along like we should.

I don’t know what the point of study in other city. It doesn’t matter what school or college we attend, the matter is how serious we take the school teach us. If I don’t want to study at that town, I won’t take school seriously either; it will end up worse than here. But no, my parents won’t understand it, and neither will they try to understand too; just because my sister wants to take business school there and nothing will stop her. And beside she always get what she wants. It is really pain in the for me; you know, like always surrender. I always lose if we fight, I mean not physical since I’ve learnt taekwondo before, but she always good with words, like twisting it, wash it, rub it, and rinse it; complete opposite of me.

A ring on my phone starlet me, I think I might be died from heart attack. Oh god! Is it her? I pounce on my hand phone, but not too long after I look the screen I frowned. It is not her. It’s my partner in crime; you should know her, her name is Sunny. I really enjoy her company when we had our little ‘fun’. Honestly, as much as I enjoy her company, I didn’t need her calling me right now. What if Tiffany decide to call when Sunny is on the line. But whatever, maybe I need to secure more line to soon-to-be my ex-neighborhood.

“Yo” I speak.

“Tae, you haven’t gone yet from here?”

“Nope”

“Great”

“What? Why?”

“Nothin’, just wanna check on you”

“What the heck is wrong with you?”

“Sigh, if I was there right now, I surely already punched your dirty mouth, dude”

“Whatever” I rolled my eyes. “Bye”

“Hey! Don’t hang up yet!” Sunny scream on the other side. Sigh this midget never know when to mess with me and when to not.

“Okay, shoot”

“Sigh, Tae…” her tone suddenly turns a little melancholy. “I think I’m gonna miss you, bud”

“Bud? You think I’m some kind of cotton bud, huh?” I frowned.

“I’m serious, buddy. I will miss you; we can’t have our little ‘fun’ again. I need to find new partner in crime, but they won’t same as you”

I fill my lung with a little too much air. “I know, dude. I feel just as same as you”

Sunny take her time to digest whatever this moment offer to us. “Just don’t forget me, Taeyeon”

“I won’t, and you should just the same. Don’t forget me and our moment”

“Yeah, of course. Take care and come to play around sometimes in the future, I’ll secure my time for you by then”

“Thanks, partner in crime” I smile a little, don’t really care if the person in the other side know or not.

“See you”

“See you”

I feel like crap right now. Everything I’ve built, everything I’ve protected, crumbled right in front of me. What I suppose to feel? I have to build everything from nothing there. I have to build my trust, my relationship, and heck, I have to adapt. It always the hardest part for me. I don’t like strange place, and I don’t like strangers either. Mostly, if I’m all alone. It’s a bit okay if someone accompanies me, like I can depend on her/him, like share my scared thought or something, but there’s going to be none. Honestly? I’m scared. I know people can’t avoid changing. Everyone is going to change, even if they don’t know about it. But, if I can, I want to just stuck with what life offer to me when I was born until forever, I mean not like I’m going to be the same personality and naïve and stuffs, but people I treasure will always be there, beside me, and will walk together to face the future.

But now it’s not going to happen. I’ve moved from town to town about 2 times already in my childhood. I don’t have fix friends. They are come and go, come and go. I really hope Sunny won’t drift apart like others do. And of course Tiffany too. I don’t want to lose her, yet.

I stared at the ceiling.

Suddenly I heard someone knocked my door, maybe mom, telling me to eat. Sometimes I don’t want to eat my mom’s cooking, I don’t implying that her food tastes weird, bad, or what; but sometimes it gets boring, like I need something different and well, her cooking is always bland. Not that she cannot cook, but because she has a high pressure blood.

So her preference is our fate, in cooking I mean.

I know I don’t show my gratitude toward her in any way possible, we never really express our feeling, I mean my family. It will always hard and awkward to say intimate words, moreover do intimate activity. I think I kiss them when they ask me to? Like when there is a family’s member birthday or when they won’t see me for long time. But nonetheless, I already feel awkward even before they ask me to do that. And thus makes me awkward at intimate contact with who-ever.

Anyway, clock keeps ticking and I waste my time. I want to devour as much as I can here. I get up and brush my , turn the knob and open the door before mom come in.

Truthfully, I kinda feel weird when I heard a knock, mom rarely knock my door, she usually just barge in and well I don’t have much privacy here. Everyone in the house do that all the time to me, I wonder why, maybe because I rarely show my anger or my stress to others, so they don’t really know what they suppose to do with me.

The knob in my hand twisting and I can’t believe my eyes. There she is, in my doorstep, just feet away, or two, and I held my breath.

“Wh- what are you doing here?” damn you Taeyeon, why have to stutter now?

“Pay the last visit, I mean not the last like forever, but for now, its last” Tiffany clutch my letter, I blush.

“So you did read it, thanks” I eyed the letter.

“Yeah, kinda.”

“Call me?”

“Let see”

“Huh?”

Tiffany just stared at me and I fidget with my toes.

“I ‘m not sure” Tiffany open once again.

“Why?” I whined, I don’t care if I sound so clingy right now.

“I don’t know”

“Can I call you then? Or text? Email?”

“You don’t have my number”

“Then give it to me!” Tiffany raised her perfectly shaped eyebrow to me; I just raise my voice to her again.

“Such a kid” I saw her clicked her tongue, I feel guilty. “I won’t”

“Why?” I don’t know why she always play this push and pull game with me, she pushes me more than she pulls me but every time she pull, she always pull so hard that I always stumble and come closer than before.

“Because you are a kid, and I don’t give my number to a kid”

“Fine” I put my hands on my pocket. “So goodbye” I sound really childish right now but I really don’t give a . A little assurance is all I need, that she won’t forget me and we still can be friend even distance take us apart.

“Don’t ever say goodbye Taeyeon” Tiffany frowned, she always do that when she really disagree with something. “I hate it” I stared at her perfectly shaped eyebrows.

“Why?”

“Sigh, I start to hate that question” Tiffany shake her head, I saw her hair sway side by side gracefully, I suppress my grin. “Because it sounds like we won’t see each other anymore, forever”

“Sorry” I don’t know what to feel, but I know I feel guilty. “We will see each other again for sure”

“Sigh, I know” Tiffany took a small step towards me and I raise my right eyebrow. “Come here, you baby” I saw her open her arms and I smile, widely.

Not thinking, I just take the offer and buried my face into her beautiful hair, it smells so nice; like silk, if silk even have smells. I sigh. This feels so nice. My hands still on my pocket and I heard Tiffany whisper softly, “Hug me back, idiot” I grin and I hug her with my left hand; still not touching her fully.

“Hug me properly” I heard her again and I feel piercing pain on my back as she pinch me harshly.

“Ow! Okay! Geez” I rest my both arms on her waist, draw her a little closer as I try to remember every detail of this moment. She buried her head in to my shoulder as she sigh contently.

I heard her mumbled something I don’t really hear, but I think I may hear her say, “I’m going to miss you, little punk”

“Me too” I whisper really softly like telling her my deepest secret. “I surely gonna miss you, babycake” and I feel her punch my shoulder, like really punch, it hurts like hell since she punch me in my weakest spot.

“Don’t call me that, or you will die in no time” she slap my back a couple of times, but more gently.

“Okay princess, I still love my body, don’t hurt me anymore”

And we stay like that for a little longer, and then she broke my first real hug, looking in to my eyes and smiles that little smile I adore so much.

I find my courage and told her my biggest fear. “Don’t forget about me, yeah? I’ll find way to come back for you, even for a little time” I tucked her hair behind her ear so I can see her face more clearly.

“That depends”

“Huh? On what?”

“Whether you forget me or not”

“I won’t”

“Then I’ll try” She smile for the last time then spun around, I can smell her shampoo again, floating in the air. I walk her to my doorstep and close the door behind me.

“See you next time, Taeyeon”

“See you Tiffany” I smile weakly, god I hate moment like this. I don’t want to cry.

Then the next thing I know she’s already gone; left me here in front of my door looking like lost puppy. I sigh for the ump-time today.

-

a/n : so… hello again hehe.. I’m not lazy to update this.. because writing this is fun, it’s random and well…. random. hehe. but I have no internet at my rented room outside of town.. so i have to wait till i got little internet hehe.. now I’m home and i have a high-speed internet (at least for me) so I’m gonna downloaded them all hihihihi. Good day! :)