“Jiyong? Jiyong!”

Startled by Youngbae’s light shake, he groggily woke up. “Oh you’re here?” Greeting his best friend with a croaked voice, Jiyong tiredly rubbed his eyes and straightened himself.

“Go home and rest Jiyong.” Youngbae said kindly while hopping himself onto the end of the bed. “You look like , really.”

Smiling nonchalantly, he rubbed his face before turning to look at her, resting his chin on a hand and said nothing.

“Jiyong…”

“I was so stupid.” He said after a moment of being utterly quiet. Still gluing his eyes on her, he said in a small voice. “It seems the only thing I ever gave her was pain.” He took her hand in his and kissed them. “I hurt her both physically and mentally too much.”

“You cannot be like this forever Jiyong.” Youngbae tried again, after numerous times listening and consoling the same guilty Jiyong over the past months who kept blaming himself for what happened. “Ae Ra will not want you to waste your time like this.”

“She waited years for me.” He shook his head, still refused to look at his best friend. “And I just was, still am, too stupid.”

Youngbae was worried. Jiyong looked like a lost man now, his mind could not concentrate enough to do anything other than staying at Shin Ae Ra’s bedside and waited for her to wake up.

“Jiyong ah...have you...thought about Dr. Jung’s…”

“If you still want to be my best friend...” Jiyong immediately cut in curtly. “Don’t mention that name in front of me ever again.” He said in a cold voice, started to massage her arm.

“It’s just…”

“ing horrible…” Jiyong murmured angrily. “I can’t believe of all people, he was the one suggesting such a crime like that.”

“Jiyong, it’s been more than a year…”

“Get out.” He said in a low and calm voice. “I’m still calm, you still have a chance.”

“Hey don’t be mad. Dr. Jung has his reason…”

“GET OUT!” Jiyong stood up and violently shoved his best friend out of the room. “NOT YOU TOO, YOUNGBAE!” He shouted angrily. “WHAT THE IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU? HOW DARE YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT SUCH A HEARTLESS ACTION?”

“Wait Jiyong! Wait!” Youngbae tried to calm the dragon down. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just wanna discuss…”

“DISCUSS WHAT?” Jiyong didn’t care if he made a scene outside the room. “This is the life of a living person! Who gave who the right to discuss the end of someone’s life?” He screamed at his best friend, tears starting to blur his eyes.

“Even Nara is considering it…”

Jiyong widened his eyes with disbelief. “W-what?” He stepped back slowly while shaking his head. “Tell me this is a ing joke.”

“Maybe she’s stressed because of little Seung Nam’s fever.” Youngbae said carefully. “But Seungri said she talked to Dr. Jung…”

“ ALL OF YOU!” The dragon fired up for real. He slammed the door strongly to Youngbae’s face.

“Damn it…” He cursed while crying so hard, collapsed next to her side again. “How could them even consider doing that…” Burying his cries to her palm, he sickly remembered the horrible conversation they had with Dr. Jung last week.

“W-what are you talking about?” He stammered, thinking his ears must be playing with him.

“It’s been 14 months and 19 days, Jiyong.” Dr. Jung said in a calm voice, as if he knew his blood was slowly boiling up inside. “All her medical records have been getting worse and worse day by day. We’re losing hope day by day. Maybe it’ll be better if we just…”

“Kill her?” He whispered those two words with astonishment.

Dr. Jung winced. “Even when she can wake up again, there’s no guarantee that she will have a healthy life, I have to warn you. She had two severe accidents which damaged her physical and mental state seriously. Maybe it’ll be better for her if we help her let go...”

“WHAT THE ARE YOU SAYING?” Jiyong immediately grabbed the doctor’s collar and pinned him onto the wall. “WHAT KIND OF DOCTOR ARE YOU?”

Seungri was the quickest to react, he quickly came to pry Jiyong’s hands out of Dr. Jung’s neck. “H-hyung...calm down, we can talk about this.”

“No….No…. you cannot do that to her!” Nara shakingly covered in tears. “That’s….horrible.”

“THERE IS NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT HERE!” Jiyong was still livid, he breathed hard while trying to calm his anger. “If anyone ever mentions this again, I swear I will skin you alive with my own hands.” He growled before leaving the room angrily.

Yes, it’s been more than a year since her 2nd accident happened, and things just got worse ever since he could not see even her soul anymore. But how could they think of such a cruel action? What, “humanity gesture”? Were they ing serious?

“O-opa…” He turned around to see Nara’s red eyes looking at him. “I’m scared…” She cried loudly.

“Hushhhhh….” He quickly enveloped her in his arms and patted her back to sooth her. “Don’t worry, I won’t let anyone harm your sister.” He assured her. “Don’t cry. You’re Seung Nam’s mother, aren’t you?”

Lee Seung Nam - Seungri & Nara’s beloved son rarely cried even though he was still just merely a baby. He’s such a good boy, especially to his mother, since Nara was still not fully happy with Ae Ra still being unconscious.

“What if unnie wouldn’t wake up anymore?” She cried silently in his arms. “I still haven’t done anything for her yet.”

“She didn’t lose hope on me before.” He said quietly. “No one lost hope on me before. Now we should not, too.”

Then why the even Shin Nara considered that horrible action now? Jiyong just could not fathom that. If he could wake up after 11 months, why people gave up on her now?

Suddenly there was a beep sound from one of the complicated machines attached on Ae Ra, jerking Jiyong out of his thoughts. He stood up and came to her side when she gasped loudly.

“Ae Ra?” He called. “Ae Ra? Can you hear me?”

Her breath got shorter and slower, the number on that machine indicated that her heart beat was slowing down.

“Oh my God…” Jiyong opened the door and shouted loudly. “SOMEBODY PLEASE COME HERE!”

Youngbae, who was still lingered outside got startled and came to his side immediately. “Jiyong, what’s wrong?”

“CALL THE FREAKING DOCTOR!” Jiyong ignored him and frantically shouted to the nurses who were running towards their room.

Soon footsteps of Dr. Jung and two other doctors appeared. He glanced briefly at Jiyong before hastily stepping into the room.

Jiyong was about to run after them but one of the nurses turned back and stopped him. “Please let us do our job. You should wait outside, Mr. Kwon.” She said quickly before disappearing behind the closed door.

He looked at the closed door and soon collapsed on the floor, arm fell into the row of chairs situating on the sidewall, his eyes went empty. Youngbae quickly came to his side and crouched down with him.

“Hey…” Tentatively, Youngbae put his hand on his best friend’s shoulder. “Are you...ok?”

“I’m s-s-scared, Youngbae.” He broke down. “What’s happening?”

Didn’t you what to say or do, since saying “It’s alright” wasn’t right at all, Youngbae patted Jiyong’s back lightly, hoping that would give his poor friend some strength. Hearing rapid footsteps behind their back, Youngbae glanced back to see Nara and Seungri came into view.

“Why are you guys here?” Normally they didn’t visit at this hour. It’s past midnight anyway.

“I don’t know oppa, I just keep being so worried for some reason, so I decided to come here immediately. How is unnie?” Nara asked in worry.

“Something… happened.” Youngbae replied in a small voice. “I’m not sure. They’re inside to check on her.”

Just then, the doctors came out and Jiyong immediately sprang up on his feet. “How is she? What happened?” He asked in panic.

“We’re sorry. She was struggling to breathe and we tried our best to help but...”

Jiyong didn’t wait to hear the rest of what that doctor gonna say, he brushed past him and came to Ae Ra’s side. One hand taking her cold hand in his, the other one cupped her cheek, he talked to her. “Sweetheart, wake up.” He cried. “You’ve been sleeping enough, don’t you think? I know you’re mad at me but don’t be like this. I’ve waited too long already.”

He ignored Youngbae’s and Seungri’s shaking attempt to pull him away, his tears were still falling down, wetting her hospital gown. “I know I should be punished more, but don’t do this to me. Wake up, please… You’re being too cruel to me.”

Nara slowly came the other side of the bed, covering with her hands and continuously muttered “No...no…”

“H-hyung… Let noona r-r-rest...” Seungri choked on his own sobs.

Jiyong leaned down and kissed her dry lips. It was a desperate and painful kiss, his quivering lips shakingly touched hers while his hot tears dropped onto her skin. “I….l-l-love you.” He whispered, face just inches away from hers. “I-I’m sorry for making you wait for me like that. I’m really sorry.” He cried out loudly and buried his face in her neck. “D-don’t, please…. If you leave like this how can I ever forgive myself?”

“Come back to me, Ae Ra, please…”

____

Where am I?

Ae Ra looked around the place she was standing. It’s all white. Just whiteness. There was nothing else. There was no one else. Just her.

She didn’t know how long or since when she was here. She didn’t know where she was before this. It felt like she was gone for a very long time, since the day she was still with Jiyong. There was a big hole in her memories, she didn’t know where did she go after the last day she stayed with him. All she remembered was she was there, in his arms, watching him sleeping peacefully, and suddenly she felt sleepy too, and darkness took ever.

She didn’t how many days had passed, but when she opened her eyes again, she was here.

Biting her lips nervously, Ae Ra walked around. Just then she realized, she didn’t actually “walk”. It was like she was...floating. She was “flying” slowly towards...somewhere, she didn’t even know.

“H-hello?” Ae Ra called out hesitantly.

No one answered her, of course.

It felt like forever, she just kept… floating forwards like that, until suddenly she slowed down and stopped completely. And then, there was a bright yellow light appeared from above her head.

Yes, the light of God, it must have been so.

“H-hello?” She tried again.

“Welcome to the Life Interchange threshold, Miss Shin Ae Ra.” A clear yet deep voice spoke up.

“W-who’s that?” Nervously, she looked around. There was still no one or nothing around her, just plain whiteness and that yellow light. She tried look up but the light was too bright, it hurt her eyes. “G-god? Is that you?” She asked while covering her eyes with her palms.

“If you go with me, you’ll see him. God is in heaven.” The voice replied calmly. “Will you go with me?”

“W-what do you mean?” Ae Ra widened her eyes.

“You can choose.”

“To go to heaven or hell?” She sounded skeptical. People really could choose where to go for afterlife?

“No.” The voice chuckled, which surprised Ae Ra. “To go with me, or go back to your current life.”

“I c-can choose that?” Snapping her head up, she spoke hopefully to that voice.

“People suffering from a coma can choose to go back to the life they are having or start a new life.” That voice explained. “That’s a privilege only people like you can have. You are people who should have ended this life and go to your next one, but because of some good deed you once gave in the previous years, you are given a chance to choose. That’s why you have a coma, since we want you to observe the life you are having and decide if you wanna go back to continue living that life. Sometime the observant time takes too long, for years, sometimes just several days, it depends on you. People like you just keep wandering around until they found what they were looking for, whatever it was, the reason for them to come back.”

“But…” Ae Ra asked tentatively. “This is my 2nd time…”

“Yes, you’re a very special case.” That voice replied. “Actually there was no one ever got a second 2nd chance like this. Because of your past life, you were supposed to leave this life 3 years ago. But you chose to come back. Then, again, because of your past life, you were supposed to pay back for your 2 next lives, meaning you were supposed to leave this life again, that’s when you had the 2nd accident. However, thanks to the good deed you made with your second chance to live, here you are again.”

wow, she must have committed some real crime in the past life, to have to die twice like that. But, “What did I do to get the 2nd chance?”

“Kwon Ji Yong.”

“W-what?” Clearly this wasn’t the answer she expected. “What does he have to do with this?”

“You helped him come back to his life.” Seeing she was still silent out of confuse, that voice carried on. “When he first came here, he nearly gave up. He wanted to start a new life. But I advised  him to observe more, because he wanted to leave just because of an unrequited love, and that was somewhat stupid. He was given a second chance, he should not waste it easily like that.”

“About that… why I could see his...soul...before? And this time also, why he could see my soul as well?”

“That was something I can’t answer for you, I’m not too sure, only God of Love knows. You can ask her, but you must go to heaven to meet her.” That voice paused for a while when Ae Ra didn’t say anything else. “You don’t want to go there yet, do you?”

“I wanna...go back.” She tentatively answered.

“Do you know how long have you been wandering around here?”

“Several...days. I guess?” She replied nervously. To be honest, she had no idea how long had she been here. She just knew that it was long, very long.

“It’s months, Ae Ra-ssi. You’ve been here for over 9 months already.” Ae Ra gasped upon hearing the revelation. “Before that you already spent 5 months as a soul with Kwon Jiyong. In total, you’re in coma for over a year.”

She didn’t know that she was here that long. Where was she then?

“Where was I in the past months?” She asked in confuse. She didn’t remember anything.

“You were resting, Ae Ra-ssi.” The voice replied simply. “You’re just tired and wanna rest, that’s all.”

“If I come back now, will I forget everything?”

“As a rule, all those who decide to come back to their current life have to be obliviated from the time they observed while in a coma.” That voice explained.

“Just the time when we observed our life….” Ae Ra mumbled to herself. “But...will he still wait for me?” She could not be sure, maybe they already lost their hope on her.

“If you have decided, go.”

Pulling out of her thoughts, Ae Ra startled. “Y-yes...thank you.”

The voice didn’t reply her anymore, and she was left with whiteness and utterly silence once again.

Where should she go now?

How did she go back now?

Nervously, Ae Ra moved forward a little bit, floating to somewhere she hadn’t known yet. She didn’t know where was the gate, or something like that, even if it did exist.

“Ae Ra….”

Snapping her head around immediately, Ae Ra looked to the direction where his faint voice was calling.

“Jiyong?” She called loudly. He was stilling call her name repeatedly. The voice got louder and louder, and she just followed where it came from.

“Come back to me, Ae Ra, please…”

______

A/N:

Uhm, hi

I am sorry, so sorry, that's all I can say. If you're still here with me, thank you so much. i've been drained physically & emotionally for the past weeks (or month actually), I just....sorry.

I was about to say there'd be only one more chapter left, but, JUST NOW, i mean, right before I was typing these words, I got an idea. But I'll consider carefully, since I think I owe you guys for waiting for updates too long.

again, i'm so sorry.