ijjimaseyo_07

Reviewed by Foreverkeena101

'Day By Day' Review

Title: [4/5]

The title was simple and eye-catching; it really matches the story well. Although, it's very common. If you search it in the search box, about 5 or more titles are almost exactly like it.

Description/Foreword: [8/10]

I really like how you just used those very few lines, ending in a cliffhanger. I mean, it gives of a suspenseful feeling and makes the reader want to know what happens next.

Although, please move the Author's Note into the Foreword section since the description should ONLY have the description. Adding anything else would make the story seem less professional.

Plot: [5/5]

The plot was very unique, and seemed very interesting. It wasn't over the top, or too simple. Full points in this section!

Flow: [10/10]

This is a VERY rare case. You are probably the first person I gave full points to in this section.

The way you made each chapter into a day was just brilliant. It gives off a stuctural way to set you story into place, allowing it to fall into the perfect speed.

Great job!

Writing Style: [3/5]

Your writing at times could be very choppy. When I read it, the flow just isn't there. Usually when you read a story, you can just swift through it, but since your sentences were very short at times, it made it hard for me.

You also might want to try using different synonyms. At times, I noticed you were using basically the same word, so you might want to check on that.

Originality: [8/10]

I've never read a story based on the song 'Haru Haru'. I liked how it was unique. I wasn't totally awed about the story since everyone knows 'Haru Haru'. Everyone knows what happens, what doesn't happen, the feeling the song portrays. You know, the usual.

Grammar/Punctuation/Vocabulary: [16/25]

I could point out every single mistake you made if I had the time to do so... but I don't. So instead, I'll just sum up what you need to work on.

1. Work on your verb tenses. Your story is set in past tense, but at times you used present tense verbs.

2. Your spelling. At times, you spelled some words wrong. It may be because AFF doesn't have spell check, but I still have to take off points for it.

3.  Synonyms. You used the same word at times, so you might want to change that. The vocabulary you choose is what sets the entire story, so it's important to have a wide range of words.

Characterization/Details : [23/25]

The detail you put into Donghae's character was just magnificent. You really portrayed his feelings and thoughts well throughout the story. I just wish you could have described the other characters too.

Throughout the story, I was wondering about Jiyeon's POV. I mean, in the end it stated she was dying, so it would have been nice to see how life was going for her.

Poster/Background: [4/5]

The poster was beautiful. It really gives off that angsty and painful vibe. Although, it would have been nice if Donghae had a different picture, since I couldn't really see his face clearly.

As for the background, I'm not really into the hearts. Your story is a tragedy drama. Those hearts just lower down the professionalism and feel to the story even if it is black and red.

Overall Score: [81/100]

I truly do believe your story is one of the best angst fanfictions I've read so far. Despite your score not being at least a 90/100, I will post this up in our featured section.

I enjoyed reading this, and really do believe it deserves to be in our list.

You're an exception to the rules of being featured. CONGRATS! I'm also a very harsh grader at times. Consider yourself proud! ^^