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[Oh girl, I cry cry.

You’re my all, say goodbye-bye.
Oh my love, don’t lie lie.

You’re my heart, say goodbye]

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 [NARRATOR’S P.O.V.]

                Everyone gathers around that white tent which stands proudly in the middle of the green meadow. Everyone wears white clothes, as if a wedding is happening. Some are crying and some are just chatting around. The others are sincere with their prayers, while some just loves to be there for nothing. There is that old man in white robes who stands in the middle of the growing crowd. He’s saying his lines quite perfectly, wishing the good journey of the soul of the person being buried, praying for her deeply even though he merely even knew her. The girls on the left side of the tent chatters silently about their friend, lying inside that four cornered piece of wood. They’re talking about her selfishness, keeping her illness from them all this time. They cannot understand how sad that person is when they ignored her once when she tried to tell them about it. They don’t know.

            Another group silently prays on the other side of the tent. This group of boys tries their best to comfort their friend, who sulks at the far corner of the meadow, avoiding anyone in view. They cannot understand him. They can’t understand how hurt he is because of what happened. They observed him for the past week, and it’s killing them to see him dying like that. He won’t eat, he won’t talk. He won’t even go out of his room. They’re still thankful he hasn’t committed suicide yet. They’re thankful, yet, they’re curious as to what is holding him back to live on. They don’t know.

            While him, he’s  there thinking how to keep her memories alive; how to keep her alive in his dead heart. He knew he can’t love anyone else as much as he loved her, but he chose to live, for her, so he have to do his best to do so.

            “Dong-hae, join us in the tent.” His best friend invited him, opening his palm as a sign. He just shook his head.

            “I’m fine here. Don’t worry.” He replied instead of taking his friends’ hand.

            “Are you sure?” Eun-hyuk tried again.

            He just nodded in reply, pulling out a thing from his pocket and staring at it for a while. “Go back there, Hyukkie. Go on.” He simply said, turning his back to him.

            When he was quite sure he’s alone again, he brought the two things he’s holding up to his eye level. He toyed with the first while he stared at the second. He pushed open the locket which contains his and his lovers’ name. He stared at it and smiled. They promised each other that they’ll love each other forever. They promised forever.

            He closed the locket again and put it back in his pocket, making sure it won’t be taken away from him. Then, he looked at the paper he’s still holding. With all the courage left in him, he opened it. It’s been a week since his best friend gave him that letter at the hospital. He never had the strength to open it. It seems, for him, it’ll reveal a darker sight for him. He’s scared because he doesn’t know.

            He saw the familiar hand writing inside it. He stared at it for a while, appreciating each of pen there, which created the letters and words in it. He imagined her hands moving through that piece of paper, writing her whole heart in it. He imagined her thinking of him while writing whatever it is that the letter contains. He imagined her alive and healthy.

            He stopped admiring the hand writing and focused on the words written on it. He slowly read it, leaning back under a huge tree.

My Dong-hae,

            I’m sorry if I didn’t tell you about my condition. I don’t want to see you hurting because of me, but I guess, now that you’re reading this that I already did hurt you. I’m sorry.

            I have cancer and it’s terminal. They said I can take up therapies to lengthen my life. When I asked them if I’d live if I did, they said ‘no’. the therapy would only lengthen my life, but it wouldn’t make me live forever with you. So I refused to take the medications. It’ll only lengthen the time that I may be hurting you.

            Don’t be mad at Eun-hyuk. He found me out; I didn’t mean to tell him, or anyone. He saw me coming out of the hospital when I just finished my check-up. I didn’t have any choice but to admit that I’m dying. The doctor gave me an estimate of  two weeks to live, I also told Eun-hyuk about that. He asked me to tell you, but I have no courage to do so. I don’t want to kill you.

            So he pursued me to go away; to break up with you and leave. I did leave. I avoided you for a week. I looked for you from a distance. But a whole week without talking to you, without calling you; I can’t take it any longer. So, I told him I can’t do it, and he came up with a plan. He said I should trust him because he knows what he’s doing. I gave him my necklace as he asked for, saying that you’ll think I don’t love you anymore if you saw that the locket is gone. We didn’t expect you to be there that day. I’m sorry if you have to see us like that.

            Since you saw us together, and you came up with conclusions that we’re together, Eun-hyuk thought that we could play the act. In that way, even though you’ll hate him, you’d start to find a way to forget me. I didn’t agree at first, knowing that he’s your best friend, but do I have any choice? It’s either that, or I should leave.

            I can’t leave you. At least, I need to see you in my remaining days. So I agreed. I sat beside him whenever you’re around and then I’ll go away whenever you’re not. I hope you know that I can never betray you.

            On the eve of Thursday, I was confined in the hospital. They told me I’m too weak to pursue walking. That’s the day I last saw you at the school stairs. I’m so thankful I did. That night, I heard you’re confined on the same hospital where I’m staying. Eun-hyuk said you got into a fight and that you’re badly hurt. I stayed with you the whole night, sitting in a wheel chair I hated the most. They won’t let me off without agreeing to stay seated, so I let them put me in that thing. I held your hand until morning came. They pushed me out of your room to bring me back to mine. I woke up without you by my side anymore.

            That day, I asked Eun-hyuk to finally tell you about my illness, but he said you don’t want to listen. I was hurt, but I know you’re going through worse so I kept my loneliness inside. I stayed at my room for a whole day, without even feeling anything wrong. I think they just wanted me to stay away from you, that’s why they confined me. I’m glad some of your friends found me. They accompanied me the whole night, telling me everything about you; how you’re doing, how you’re feeling.

            I just want you to know that I’m really disappointed. Why are you hurting yourself at home? Kyu-hyun said you destroyed the mirror at the bathroom of your dorm and Lee-teuk said you don’t even want to go to school. Lee Dong-hae, just so you know, I don’t want you to ruin your life just because I’m gone. I want you to live on. I want you to continue living the way you did before we fell in love with each other. I don’t want you to kill yourself just because I’m not there anymore!

            Okay, the nurse just came in and said I should rest now. Your friends are outside, still pursuing to stay with me. Tomorrow is the end of the two weeks the doctor gave me. Tomorrow is my last day. I hope I can see you one last time to tell you how much I love you. If I don’t, then I hope this letter would make you feel my love for you. I’ll think of you and our memories together until the end. In that way, I could die happily.

            I will always love you, my Lee Dong-hae.

Your Jiyeon

               He inhaled deeply as he finished reading the letter. He felt the building sobs in his throat trying to find their way out of his lips. He forced those sobs to disappear but they didn’t. He found himself holding on the tree, slowly slipping down to his knees. It seems like what he just read took his remaining life away. He wanted to follow his girl to her grave, but still, he can’t.

              I don’t want you to ruin your life just because I’m gone. I want you to live on. I want you to continue living the way you did before we fell in love with each other. I don’t want you to kill yourself just because I’m not there anymore!

             Her words are holding him back. He don’t want to disappoint her any further. Once is enough, he’ll never let her down again. He felt his endless tears flowing again. He sometimes wonder where those tears are coming from; they never seemed to run out.

            He has to live, for her. He needs to continue living, taking his memories about her with him. For her, he’ll stay alive.

            Looking at the disappearing crowd, not far away from him, he knew it’s over. He slowly got up from his knees and wiped his tears. He walked up to the now deserted place and stared at the tomb stone placed carefully on the raw ground.

Kim Jiyeon

May 17, 1988 – July 7, 2011

“Life is a beautiful gift, don’t waste it.”

                He kneeled down beside it and touched the engraved name on it. He stayed like that for a while, letting his fingers run through the whole stone, then repeating the same action over and over again. It’s like he’s feeling her beneath that fresh mound of earth. He can still imagine her closed eyes he loves to kiss and her rosy cheeks he loves to poke. Her hands he held on to and her petite body that can carry a heavy burden alone. Her pointed nose and the lines on her forehead that shows up whenever she’s upset. He can still remember her clearly, as if she’s standing right in front of him. But now, all of those are lying six feet below him.

            “Dong-hae, let’s go home.” Eun-hyuk whispered, unable to control the sadness he’s feeling toward his friend.

            Dong-hae smiled a bit, recognizing the voice calling him. The Vice Principal is right after all. You’re friends will never leave you, if they are true to you. You’ll know and feel that anyway, right? He felt Eun-hyuk’s truthfulness to him, he even wonder now how come he doubted him. He’s always there and always will be, because he is his best true friend.

            He didn’t bulge from his position, but he turned his head to face his comforter. “Neh.”

            Eun-hyuk didn’t smile on the reply he received, but his hope came a little more in view.He’ll be able to get over this. He’s strong. Dong-Hae will live for her. I know.

            Meanwhile, Dong-hae found his strength to stand up on his own now. He stretched his arms upward and kicked his legs down, as if he’s been sitting there for so long, waiting for someone to pull him back to life. He looked up at the sun, and then at his friend, who stands still beside him.

            “She’ll never be gone, Hyuk-jae.” He murmured, turning his gaze back to the sky again admiring the sun. “She’ll always be here.” He put his hand on his chest and tapped it gently. “You’re right, back at the hospital. She’ll be in my heart forever. Even though it died with her, her memories would keep it beating still. She’ll keep me alive.” He smiled again, now facing his best friend.

            “Hae…” Eun-hyuk tried to find the words to comfort his grieving friend.

            “It’s fine, Jae. I’m fine.” He concluded. “Let’s go.”

            He’s fine, and he will be. Jiyeon will stay in his heart. She will shine brightly in his sky as the blazing sun. She’ll never be forgotten, she’ll never be unloved. And Dong-hae, he’ll live on. He will live through this pain and he will survive it. He can do it, for her.

            He knows.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞END∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

>done proof reading! comment below if there's any typo or grammar error.. thanks for your help!!!<