We have all heard of the term, don't try to fix somethings thats not broken. Well I learned this first hand. I was raised a devoted Christian. My family believes in man and woman marriage, and living happily ever after. I, on the otherhand, don't really agree. You see I like both men and woman. I will never be able to tell them this because it would break their hearts. I would be exhiled from my family, and they would never forgive me. I can't take the chance of them ever finding out the truth. 

For the longest I tried hiding my true uality and always bringing girlfriends over or acting like females were my priority. That all changed though. One day when my parents were on a business trip in Japan, I thought I had the house to myself.

What I didn't know was my sister was going to come home early. It was a day where I had brought one of my boyfriends home. I thought I was safe. My sister caught me and my boyfriend kissing.

I immediatly began freaking out! What was she going to say! Or do!? Was she going to tell my parents!

Surprisngly, she was very understanding. She didn't care who I was with, as long as I was happy. She said she would keep my secret and not tell my parents. Just to be more careful next time, and not bring random people home.

I gained alot of respect for her that day, a few years later I realized all she had done for me, Protecting me, guiding me, the sacrifices she had to make. I will never be able to repay her, all I can do is be happy.

I know I've disappointed her because of what I did. We hardly talk anymore... She was so disappointed in me the day I chose to follow my parent's wishes. Her words ring in my head everyday.

"After everything. Really Siwon! Your willing to throw away an amazing person, for a person who isn't even involved in your life most of the time! So you can make them happy!? Are you hearing yourself! After everything you to have been through. He cares about you more than anything Siwon. I thought you'd atleast care for him half as much. I guess I was wrong. Your making a big mistake and I hope you realize it before its too late. I wont forgive you for this, he doesn't deserve this. Im done with this family and it's pride . I guess giving up their daughter wasn't enough for them. Your all a bunch of fools. "

That was the last time I saw my sister all those years ago. I now know what she meant. I made a horrible mistake, and now I'm suffering for it.

Please forgive me Kyuhyun. I never meant for this to happen and I'm so sorry. It wont fix anything, but I miss you. I love you...

If only I had given you the love you deserved back then... If only...

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