Next chapter is the last. Seriously I need to stop wasting your time with my updates hurhurhur

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Spring has long gone, and Sehun finds himself lost in the tracks. Summer is taking its sweet time erasing the past, and he has been fighting it. Somehow he refused to go on and keeps thinking that he’s in a long nightmare and someone, hopefully his brother, will wake him up and tell him to get up quickly so he could drop him at school.

Too much dreaming, aren’t I? he chuckled inside.

“It’s been nearly a year, huh?”

Sehun gazed above the sky sighing in process. Even under the baby blue sky that seems so bright, he still could sigh like an old man. “Yeah.”

Minseok puffed his already puffy cheeks. He gazed above too. “Have you talked with your mom yet?”

“She said I should let go.” Sehun murmured. “Weird, that’s what I’ve been doing but it seems like everyone can’t see it.”

“If you really do, then open the room.” Minseok said.

Sehun stared at him, eyes showing his disappointment. “Oh, not you too.”

“What? That’s what you need to do if you want to let go.” Minseok stood up from the bench in the middle of the park. “Sehun, it’s just a room. True that there’s too much memory there, but it’s just a room. Sooner or later someone will get in there and clean up everything inside. And by that time, you won’t be able to do anything except to watch everything you’ve kept there being wiped away.”

“What are you trying to tell me, Minseok hyung?”

“What everyone has been trying to tell you is, just let go, move on with your life. You could say we don’t understand how much Ryung means to you that you can’t put yourself together when you lose him, but we’re sad too, Sehun. You’re not the only one mourning here. Your mom does. Your dad does. Me too.”

Sehun wants to fight back those words, but he knows it’s much true. He has been a selfish one, thinking that he’s the only one mourning over Luhan’s death. He has been a selfish one, thinking that he’s the only one who loved Luhan so much. Of course that’s not true. Luhan was nothing but an angel to everyone near him, so of course everyone misses him so bad.

But still, he can’t even adjust himself to the fact that someone near him could die before him.

“I think it’s better if you’re the one who take care of the stuffs in Ryung’s bedroom instead of anyone else. And it means that you should enter the room.” Minseok murmured. “It’s just a room, Sehun.”

A room that could cause a mental damage on me, Sehun added inside.

He watched Minseok shifted his gaze on him again. “And you still didn’t come to his grave yet.”

Sehun gulped. Right.

“You know what, I always thought you’re more mature than me.” Minseok said before he sets his feet to leave. “But till now you’re like a stubborn five years old kid.”

Sehun watched Minseok’s silhouette to become more and more distant. He lets out a stressful sigh. There the guilt creeping inside him again.

___

Maybe I really should go to visit him.

“Here’s your vanilla bubble tea, Sehun-ssi!”

Should I bring some flowers? Heck, I don’t really understand flowers.

“Err, Sehun-ssi?”

I should find something in his room that could tell me the flower he liked.

“Sehun-ssi? Are you alright?”

But then it means I need to step into his room. Is it really the time? Those months of trying to avoid it finally will come into waste?

“SEHUN-SSI!”

“OH GOD WHAT??”

Joonmyun glanced at his surroundings, bowing apologetically to everyone who saw them. He stared back at Sehun. “No, I’m not God.” he said in sarcasm. “And sorry to yell, but I’ve been calling you like a hundred times already.”

“Uh,” Sehun blinked at the waiter. He seems in a bad mood today, “I should be the one to apologize. I’m so sorry.”

“Nah, it’s fine. I’ve been watching you these months, it seems like you’re not yourself for now.” Joonmyun blabbered.

Sehun eyed him. “And you seem the same too.”

Joonmyun blinked back. “Is it really obvious?”

“Uhm, well, you’ve been so polite and quiet and all smiley, like a fairy, or an uptight prince. But now you seem troubled and not caring about your image anymore.” Sehun blurted out all his thoughts. Then he gasped quietly. “Uhm, sorry.”

“Well, everyone has their significant problems, aren’t they?” Joonmyun chuckled. “Enjoy your bubble tea. And oh, someone was here, looking for you.”

“Really?” Sehun sipped his bubble tea. Tastes flat, surprisingly, like these couple months. “Who was it?”

Joonmyun shrugged. “He didn’t tell me his name, actually.” he explained. “But he’s tall. Like, really, really tall. And skinny. Golden brown hair. A little bit messy Korean accent.” Then Joonmyun’s gaze wandered over the café window. “He brought someone with him too.”

Sehun frowned. If Joonmyun said he’s really tall, Sehun could only think of Chanyeol, one of Luhan and Minseok’s buddies. But Chanyeol speaks Korean fluently, so he’s out of the list. Which also means there’s no one in the list at all.

“I can’t recall anyone like him.” Sehun said. “Maybe he said the wrong name. Maybe he wasn’t looking for me.”

Pouting his lips a little bit, Joonmyun shrugged again. “If you said so.”

Then the waiter made his way out of his sight. Sehun decided that it’s time to go back to the dance academy. He packed his belongings back to his backpack and stood up, taking his bubble tea with him. He walked towards the door, and opened it after he bid Joonmyun goodbye. Then he stopped right in front of the door, inhaling the scent of summer air. And he heard it, almost as if it’s happening, not just some fragment of his memories. He tilted his head aside, and it’s almost like he could see Luhan staring up over the sky as he smiled.

‘Look, Sehun-ah, what a sunny day we have here!’

Everytime Luhan said that, Sehun will about how cheesy it sounds, or he’d tell him that Luhan is the only male that cares about random things like sunny day, like an auntie would do everytime she opened the window in the morning. And then Luhan will stare at him and pouts his plump lips.

‘You are no fun.’ But soon the pout will change to a goofy smile. ‘But I still love you. Now start moving, shall we?’ And before he could answer back, Luhan will drag him along across the street before they settled their way at the sidewalk and start to talk some random things. And when they’re crossing the street, Luhan will blabber another things that Sehun will always laugh at.

‘Be careful whenever you cross the street, Sehun, you’ll never know how meanie a car could be.’

When Sehun finally snapped out from his reverie, his eyes widened as he realized that a car is running towards him in such a speed. Everything turns into slow motion for him. Suddenly random memories flashed in his mind. And unknowingly, he’s not even trying to move.

‘Brother from now on?’

‘I’m your hyung. No one can call me gege. The one who did it has long gone.’

Hyung..

‘I’m so sorry, Sehun. I didn’t know I hurt you like that back then. Forgive me, Sehun-ah. Forgive me for being a jerk to you.’