Hello!! The next chapter is here ~

And forgive me if it's another failure T__T

*suddenly wanting a poster for this fic kekekeke*

_________________________________________________________________

God

I wanted to hate him

I should’ve hate him anyway

But I just couldn’t

He’s innocent

Just as me, he never asked for a life like that

He never asked to be born from the woman who took my father away from my mother

He never asked to be the one who get my father’s love all the time

He never asked to be the one I should’ve hated

And I can’t hate him

He’s not the one who caused my miserable life

I can’t hate him

When I look him in the eye, I know I could never hate him

Luhan had watched the pale white boy talked to another boy, maybe older than him. And obviously they’re talking about him, judging by how the boy with puffy cheeks glanced at him all the time. Then they chuckled, and the pale white boy climbed down the stairs. He made an eye contact to Luhan, but then he glanced at his father, who’s talking to his wife – technically Luhan’s ‘eomma’ now.

He didn’t care either. He had lost his mother. A replacement is not something he’s interested in. And so is a brother. They even made his legal Korean name so he could go to any school easily without having problems with legalism and stuffs. As if they’re trying to change his life completely. But he doesn’t care. It’s not like he had another choice either.

“Oh, finally you’re here!” the woman chirped. Luhan is a bit irritated, at how sunny the woman is. It’s not a bad thing, actually, but Luhan is just a bit irritated with it. Especially after he find how monotonous his son’s face is. Impossible how flat he is when his mom is all sunny and rainbows like that.

The boy’s face. He can’t even deny that they’re really look alike. Inherited by their father, obviously. And somehow it reminds him that everything is real, that the drama of his life is real. He really has a biological brother.

“Where’s Minseok?” his father asked to him.

“Minseok hyung probably went to my bedroom. He’ll come here soon.” even his voice sounds monotone. “Appa, can Minseok hyung and I have some sleep over at the pool house tonight?”

His father chuckled as he ruffled the boy’s hair. And somehow it stings Luhan’s heart a bit. “Of course he could. Or ask your eomma first.”

The boy turned to the woman. “Can Minseok hyung sleep here tonight, eomma?”

“Of course, dear.” the woman said softly to him. “Ah, then it means Ryung should join them too tonight!”

His father stared at him, switching the language. “Is it okay with you?”

Luhan just shrugged. “Fine.”

“Okay, we’ll leave you guys here. Behave.” the woman nudged at his father, and both of them left.

The pale white boy stared at him for a really long minute. “I’m S-Sehun.” he stuttered.

Luhan almost smiled at the lisp he had. “I’m Luhan. Nice to meet you!” he briefly smiled at him.

Sehun blinked, seems unsure what to say. “.. n-nice to meet you too.”

Then they fell into an awkward silence. Luhan keeps staring at the tiles down there, while Sehun find that slurping the vanilla milk from the mug he has been holding is more interesting than talking. Then Luhan lifted up his head a bit, trying to sneak a glance at his brother. He should’ve hated him. But maybe he’s the one who should be hated now. No one ever wanted someone out from nowhere came around their lives. It must be uncomfortable for Sehun to be living with another child he had never met before. And more than that they told him to treat the new child as his brother. It’s not a simple thing to do.

Finally Luhan coughed. “I’m sorry.” he said.

Sehun blinked as he gulped his milk. “For what?”

“For coming here out of sudden,” Luhan murmured, “and being your sibling out of sudden.”

Sehun seems a bit shocked at first, but then he chuckled lightly. Luhan watched how his monotonous face changed. His bored eyes formed into half-moon shape as he smiled. “I think it’s fine.” he said casually, swaying the  Pororo mug in his hand.

Luhan blinked. “You really do??’”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?” Sehun shrugged. “It’s not like you’ve planned this like those mafia movies either.”

Then both of them laughed at his statement. Luhan grinned. “Hmm, you’re smart. No wonder why baba said I’m so lucky that I have you as my sibling.”

Sehun blinked confusedly at him. “But appa said you’re really nice and smart too, he also said that I’m going to have a great brother.”

Luhan is speechless. Of course it’s wrong for him to think that his father never loved him the way he wanted. But he just never expects him to talk about him that way. Maybe it’s because the short time they always had, the never enough affection for him, or maybe simply because his father was never really there for him to teach him things a father should’ve taught. But he understood. It’s not like the man had choices either.

“Well, brother from now on?” Luhan said as he offered his hand.

Sehun stared at the hand in front of him. Then without hesitating it, he took it and shook it gently. “From now on.” he murmured. “And, uhm, eomma said they gave you Oh Ryung as your Korean name.”

Luhan nodded slowly. “Are you going to call me with that name?”

Biting his lips, Sehun thought for a while before he shook his head. “No. Your name is already pretty. Why calling you with another name?”

“Well, thank you, I guess.” Luhan grinned, pretending that he didn’t see his father and his new mother smiled widely at their interaction not so far from them. Then Sehun said something about meeting his cousin, and Luhan agreed after Sehun mentioned that his cousin is in the same age as him. It reminds him of Yifan. Maybe this new buddy could be his best friend too.

Maybe moving into this enormous house is not as bad as he thought.

You taught us that hating people is wrong

Yet a lot of us do it anyway

You taught us to love even our enemies

Yet I’m trying to hate someone who wants to be close to me

I can’t even understand why I am doing this

I know, deep in my heart, that it’s not his fault

But my heart is so weary because of the reality

And it’s trying to find someone to blame on

I wanted to hate everyone, everything

But even my step mother treated me like I’m her own son

And my half brother treated me like I’m the perfect brother he had always asked for

God, will You forgive me for being like this?

“Ryung, whatcha doin’?” hearing his Korean name, Luhan find Minseok is already sitting next to him, gazing at the sky together. The view from the balcony of this house is always the  best.

Luhan sighed. “Clearing my mind.”