HI READERS. YES IT TOOK ME SOMETIME TO UPDATE. I HAVE SOME PROBLEMS THAT I NEED TO FIX. I HOPE THIS CHAPTER IS NOT BAD OR ANYTHING. SO ENJOY, AND THANK YOU NEW SUBSCRIBERS AND UPVOTERS!! AND PLEASE COMMENT. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT U THINK OF THIS CHAPTER. I AM NOT SO CONFIDENT WITH THIS ONE.  ^__^

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Siwon left the office to find Yesung. When he had found him, Yesung was walking inside the burnt house. Siwon followed  him and saw how Yesung kneeled in front of Sangwoo. Siwon had a feeling that it was not a good time for him to be here right now. So he wanted to leave. "Don't... please stay." Yesung looked at him for a moment. Siwon turned back around and met Yesung's eyes that turned to look at Sangwoo. "Yesung... the imperial police is going to tear down the house." said Siwon carefully. Yesung sighed bitterly. "My father... my father was ill. He had gastric cancer." He let out a shaky sigh. "I do not even know what that is. All I know is that it was tearing up my father everyday. Maybe he could not stand it anymore. Maybe that is the reason for his suicide. Or maybe he missed mother." Yesung's eyes got wet. Siwon gave him a sympathetic look. "Now I understand the meaning behind his words. He was saying his farewell. But how can he leave me here all alone? How can he leave me behind like this? I have no one now. It hurts. It hurts so much here." Yesung cried while tapping his fist against his chest. Siwon went to sit next to him and pulled him into a hug. He gently placed his hand on his head and caressed his back with his other hand. "Please... please never say that again. You are not alone. I am here. I will always be with you. No... I will be with you for an eternity." Siwon placed his hand under his chin to lift it up. "I promised you that I will protect you. Yesung, you have to start believing my words. For my words to be carried out well, you will need to have faith in me." Yesung's feelings were mutual. But he could not yet bring himself to say 'I love you' back. Yesung could not manage a smile but instead he nodded and motioned for Siwon to stand up with him. Siwon watched how Yesung gave Sangwoo a last look. He sighed deeply and almost broke out in tears saying, "I love you father." They left the house with light steps. 

 

"Come live with me." Yesung eyed him. "Not that one. I have another house, it is much smaller, but perfect for the two of us." Yesung's eyes widened. "You have another house?" "Yes, though I do not want to vaunt about it. It is nothing really. You have nowhere to stay at. And with me your the safest. No one comes there without me knowing so we will not be bothered." Yesung gave it a thought. "...Alright. I shall come." Siwon smiled at him. "Then let me show you the way." Yesung nod. 

 

****

 

When they had arrived the house indeed looked much smaller in comparison to the other one. And it does look peaceful. "Well, how is it?" "It is very nice." Yesung seated himself on the ground and stared outside. Siwon placed a fruit basket before him on the low sized table. "You may grab one if you want." Yesung smiled up at him and grabbed a rambutan. He removed the red upper peel and put the white fruit in his mouth. He stared back outside. Siwon sat opposite of him and let his hands support his head. He had his goofy smile on his face again. Yesung is so pretty. He was thinking. But that soon faltered when he saw the look in Yesung's eyes. If Siwon had the power to bring Sangwoo back, he would. "Yesung? Is there something I can do for you?" Yesung eyed him. "No thank you. You have already done enough for me." Siwon's smile was sad. "I wish I could do more." Siwon made his way to him and kissed him on the lips. Yesung returned the kiss. Siwon bit his underlip for entrance. Yesung accepted his requested, as they began to swirl around each others tongues. Both we're fighting for dominance which Siwon won. He could taste the sweetness of the rambutan. Siwon smiled into the kiss. That is when Yesung gripped onto Siwon's uniform and he pulled them onto the ground. They broke from the kiss. Siwon eyed Yesung, who had just dominated him, with a surprised look. Siwon saw a glimpse of anger and confusion in Yesung's eyes. He honestly did not like to see him like that. All that Yesung wanted was to forget his pain. He was drowned in hurt, anger, regret, confusion and so much more. He wants to sleep and wake up to the sight of his father. Siwon sat them up again. "I'm sorry. I should not have kissed you." Yesung blankly stared outside. He just could not say anything. He knew he would break out in tears and he did not want to cry." There was a silence. Siwon also stared outside. "I know how you feel. Maybe not exactly but I know the feeling. The feeling of not having a father." Only then Yesung looked at him. "Is your father...?" "No, he is still alive." "Then why do you say that." Siwon's expression stiffened. "He gives me the feeling that he does not care about me. He has not even once carried out the duty of a father. He always said he was too busy." "Have you ever talked to him about it?" "No, it will cost me my head." "Cost you your head?" "...Nothing, just forget my words." Siwon's eyes had gotten red. He sniffed his nose and eyed him. "Mourn for him... Mourn for your father until you have enough of it." Yesung looked at him with half narrowed eyes. They became moistened again. He let out a shaky sigh and was not able to restrain the tear that left his eyes. Yesung placed his hand on Siwon's. "I'm going to the temple... if you don't mind." Siwon shook his head. "It is fine with me." 

 

****

 

After a short talk with the monk, Taecyeon headed into the temple to pray. He was, however, standing still at the entrance. There was another person in the room. Taecyeon kept staring, when the other person felt the others' presence. 

 

Yesung turned his head and saw Taecyeon staring at him. Taecyeon quickly averted his eyes from him and calmly sat beside him. He performed his prayer, then he sat up again. "How have you been?" asked Taecyeon. "Bad..." "I know how it feels... I lost my mother 6 years ago. She committed suicide." Yesung eyed him somewhat shocked. "Why?" "I do not know. Nobody knows. She did not even left a letter or something. She just left. Like that." Yesung turned his eyes away from him and almost started to sob. Taecyeon noticed. "I'm sorry for making you feel worse." Yesung shook his head. "You aren't. I just miss him. I miss him so much. He must have really hated me." "Did he ever say that?" "He did not have to. His eyes said enough." "And what if I tell you that it is not true? Not even close?" "...W-what?" Taecyeon turned to him. "Actually Yesung, I have to tell you something."

 

Taecyeon looked at him contemptuously. He had just finished praying, when Sangwoo had entered the temple and seated himself next to him. But for some reason today, Sangwoo looked different. Taecyeon wondered why he had that look in his eyes. "Say youngster, how old are you?" Taecyeon was surprised that he began talking to him. "Hm?! I do not talk to lowlife's like you." scoffed he. Sangwoo burst out laughing. Taecyeon suddenly felt less. "It's great right? Being a youngster? Yes, I was also rebelliouss. In comparison to my son. He is a good man. With a kind heart." Taecyeon knew he was refering to his love. "I saw how you looked at him." Taecyeon looked at Sangwoo with shock. "Don't worry. I do not care with whom my son ends up with. If that person makes him happy that is enough for me. As a father I know that my son likes men. I was dissappointed at first, but now not anymore. I really love my son. I was blessed by the Gods who gave him to me. So please, don't ever hurt him. Just don't hurt my son. But protect him." Taecyeon was confused. "Why are y-you tel-telling me this?" "I don't want to leave my son alone in this world." "What do you mean?" "...When the time is right, can you give this message to my son. Let him know that I do love him. That I for always will. I am to weak to tell him directly. I was never a good father to him. So please let my son know." Taecyeon furrowed his eyebrows. "And what makes you think that I will tell him?" "If you will not tell, it will be my own responsibility. I don't know why I am telling you either. I only want to see my son happy." "Why are you talking as if you are planning to murder yourself?" Sangwoo smiled sadly. "I am going to my wife. I miss her. Very, very much." Sangwoo stood up and patted his shoulder. Taecyeon eyed Sangwoo. He suddenly wanted to tell him."...I am 19 sir." Sangwoo laughed. "Three years younger then mine. That is good. It was nice talking to you kid." said Sangwoo and left the temple. Taecyeon sighed bitterly. All the memories of his mother came back to him. "He is a good old man." Sangwoo had heard Taecyeon's words and stopped to smile.   

 

Taecyeon had only let out the part where they talked about his feelings for Yesung and everything related. Yesung had broken down in tears after hearing the story. He was overwhelmed by so much emotions he could not stop his tears from running. Taecyeon pulled him into a hug.

 

Later they both sat at the fountain. Yesung stuck one hand in the water and made graceful movements with his hand. Taecyeon watched him lovingly. "Yesung." He looked up at the mention of his name. Taecyeon was smiling brightly at him. Yesung returned him one. "Are you feeling a little better?" "Yes. Though I am still sad I will manage." "That is good." Taecyeon unintentionally stared at his face. Yesung noticed the look in his eyes. He awkwardly cleared his throat and made some weird movements. "Why are you staring at me like that?"  Taecyeon blinked his eyes and blushed slightly. "Uh sorry. I uh... was I staring?" Yesung nodded. "Sorry." Yesung gestured that it was okay. Taecyeon quickly changed their topic. "Oh yeah uhm... Where are you staying at?" Yesung eyed him. He had to lie. "I am staying with a close relative of mine. My uncle. He is very good to me." "Oh good." Taecyeon has never been this nervous, but Yesung eyes that looked at him did things change. "Yesung? "Yes?" "I wanted to ask you this for a while. I want to offer you a job." "A job?" Yesung had to fathom his words. "Yes. You see, my father is the director of the medical hospitals in Joseon and he is recruiting new nurses. My father has asked for my help and I had you in mind." "Me? Really?" "Yes. When you take on the job you will get a good payment and even get offered a house. A special one only for nurses. All you have to do is pass the test you will be given on arrival." Yesung did not know what to say. He had not expect it at all. "I-I... I don't know what to say." "Just say yes." Yesung looked hesitant. "I won't be good enough. I can't treat people." Taecyeon shook his head. "How do you know that I can?" "Because it is not only about skills. Yesung you treated a person who had almost beaten you to death. We need nurses that care for their patients. You will surely become a great nurse." "Do you really think so?" "I am positive. But you have to meet my father first. He tells you if you can take the test. I will keep an eye on you. So you don't have to worry." Yesung sighed. "And also because...uhm we will be able to see each other a lot more." Yesung smiled hearing that. "Okay. I will do it." "That is great. How about we go tomorrow 6 AM at the entrance?" "Yes. That sounds good." They both stood up to take their leave. "Uh before we leave I want to tell you that you are really pretty." Yesung smiled to him but it faltered when Taecyeon a piece of hair out of his face. He stiffened under his touch. They kept staring in each other's eyes. Taecyeon slowly came closer until he could feel Yesung's breath. But Yesung softly pushed him back. "I have to leave. My uncle will get worried. I will see you tomorrow." Yesung had left before Taecyeon could reply back. "Ah! I am such an idiot!" Taecyeon said to himself.

 

****

 

When Yesung came back to Siwon he was happy. "What happened to you? You're so happy all of a sudden. Not that I don't like it though." "I have good news. Sit down. Sit down." Yesung could not stop smiling. "I got offered a job as a nurse and tomorrow I will be taking a test to see if I can enter the medical hospital. Is it not great?" Siwon however did not smile. Instead he looked suspicious and worried. Yesung noticed. His smile slowly disappeared. "The medical hospital?" "Yes. I have to be there at 6 AM tomorrow." Siwon shook his head. "I am sorry Yesung, but this is not a good idea." Yesung did not understand what Siwon was getting at. "How is it bad? Taecyeon offered me the job." "Taecyeon? Why would Taecyeon offer you a job?" "Why not?" "You said it yourself, we imperial policemen are hated by the villagers." stated Siwon. "And you said it yourself, you imperial policemen are not as bad as you seem. Taecyeon helped me on a job. A job whereby I can save people's lives." "How do you know him?" "We met each other a couple times." "Why have you never told me?" "It never came in mind." "Does he know about you and me knowing each other?" "No." "Good. We should keep it that way?" "Why?" "Because I have to protect you." "Siwon, we can give people the idea that we are friends. They don't need to know that we are lovers. We already decided to keep it a secret. I am able to do that Siwon. I am an adult myself. You do not have to carry the responsibility of our affair alone." Siwon looked at him apologetically. "I am sorry. I am reacting too overprotective, but that is because there are so many bad people in the world. And they do not care who they hurt." "I understand. Although it is sweet of you." "Okay. You should go." "Taecyeon will be there too." Siwon sighed. "Be careful though okay?" Yesung held his hands and kissed them. "Stop worrying so much. I will be fine." "You better." He teased.  

 

Yesung began to poke him and Siwon defended himself by grabbing Yesung by his arms and bringing him to the ground. He softly his neck. Yesung at first groaned but then burst out laughing. "Siwon, don't give me a hickey. I have the test tomorrow. What will they say if they see it." Siwon stopped on his neck and brought his face above that of Yesung. Siwon fondled Yesung's hair. "Do you love me?" There was silence. Siwon's searched an answer in Yesung's eyes, but to no avail. Siwon wanted to sit up, when Yesung pulled him back. "I'm sorry." Yesung answered. Siwon looked at him regretfully. "I guess I should not have asked." "No, it is not that I don't love you... Remember that I told you I am cautious with my words." Siwon said nothing and looked away. He sat up again. "I'm sorry." He then spoke after a long silence. "I just... you really have no idea." Yesung frowned. He scooted closer to Siwon. "What do you mean I have no idea?" Siwon stared ahead and seemed to give his question a lot of thought. Yesung stared at his face, waiting for an answer. "...Did I do something wrong?" Siwon suddenly chuckled and looked him in the eyes. His smile however instantly disappeared, he now looking sad and confused. "You're making my heart love you more everyday. Sometimes I even get the feeling that I'm suffocating. It hurts but at the same time it feels so good. Do you understand that my heart will ache not hearing you say I love you back?" Yesung eyed him apologetic. "I just want you to know how I feel. Though I did not really express it all to well." Yesung smiled. "Then are you able to wait for me to say those words?" "Even if you won't say it... even if it will hurt... I will always wait." Yesung reached for Siwon's lips and kissed him passionately. Very gently and without tongue. He then put his forehead against Siwon's. But Siwon had so many questions in mind regarding to Yesung and Taecyeon. If Taecyeon would ever come to hurt Yesung, Siwon would put their friendship aside and not lay back to protect Yesung. 

 

****

 

In the evening Siwon and Taecyeon went for a drink after they we're done with their mission. Siwon poured some sake in a cup for both of them, while they sat outside around a round table. "It's been a long time since we went out together." Taecyeon said. "It has." "Hey, can I stay at your place today?" "Ah sorry. Not today." "Hm? Why??" He whined. "Because I have work to do. And so do you." "Pff! Do you dislike me that much?" Siwon lifted his eyebrows. Taecyeon burst out in laughter. Siwon shook his head while smiling. "You're getting drunk already?" "I guess today it has more effect." Taecyeon said with a goofy smile. He poured them both another drink. Another, another and another. Siwon had however rejected the fifth offer. "Siwon! You are no fun at all! We should drink until we collapse." "Not today. I have work remember." "Yeah, yeah. Whatever." Taecyeon then pointed his finger towards Siwon. "Do you want to know my secret? A secret that nobody knows?" Siwon looked at him expectantly. "Okay, go ahead." "I...am...in...luuuuvvee." Taecyeon's last word was slurred. "In what?" "I...am...in...love." Siwon widened his eyes. "Really? That is great. With who? Is she pretty? Is she nice?" Taecyeon shook his head. "The person...is not a gurl. His name is Y...Ye..." But Taecyeon fell asleep during his talk. "Hey! Yah! Taecyeon! Ye what? Don't fall asleep during a conversation. Idiot!" 

 

****

 

"You are back so late. I was starting to get worried." Siwon looked irritated. "What is the matter?" "Taecyeon fell asleep during our conversation and he was all drunk, so I had to carry him back home. I am so tired because of him." Yesung snickered. "Are you laughing?" Yesung put his hands over his mouth and shook his head. "Hey? What-" Yesung's laughter interrupted his sentence. "This is not funny. Stop laughing." Yesung immediately stopped and eyed him. "I am going to the next room, to get ready for bed. I need to be up early tomorrow." Siwon walked up to him and lifted him up. "Ah! What are you doing?" "Bringing us to bed."