Two hours.

An hour after Tao finally fell asleep from crying his eyes out. Half an hour since Chanyeol had buried his face on Baekhyun’s shoulder, sniffing silently. Fifteen minutes since Baekhyun had succumbed to exhaustion of being his younger brothers’ pillar and strength, and went into slumber.

Two hours since Anya had been taken inside the operating room.

Two hours that felt like two lifetimes.

If he wants to, Sehun could easily see for himself what was happening inside the operating room. He itches for any news as to how Anya was doing, but he fears that it might be something he doesn’t want to hear.

He doesn’t really know what had happened in the short time that he had gone out of the house. Tao wouldn’t stop crying for his mom, Chanyeol keeping his youngest brother inside his arms in a tight hug and telling him everything was going to be just fine. Baekhyun had a grim face and he seemed like he was going to break if someone as much as touch him. Sehun didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t ask Luhan since the latter won’t even hear him. And even if Luhan can, he was far too distressed to give Sehun a detailed answer. And Sehun fears that the kids were already in so much emotional stress. He doesn’t want them to break even further.

All Sehun knew, which he had heard from the accounts of the police, was that a married couple came to the house and tried to forcefully take Tao and leave with him. The couple turned out to be Tao’s biological parents and they wanted to bring Tao back to China because the kid happened to be the only heir to his only living grandparent’s properties and his parents needed him so they could put their hands on those properties.

Of course Luhan and Anya refused to give Tao, not that Tao was willing to leave anyway. Tao is legally Anya’s son, and since Tao’s parents had abandoned him before, they were given no rights whatsoever over the boy.

Tao’s parents wouldn’t give up and threatened Anya and Luhan with a gun. Luhan couldn’t take it anymore that his own sister and brother-in-law would threaten their own child just to get their hands on money. Luhan apparently had fought with his brother-in-law for the gun and during the fight the gun was fired accidentally.

It hit Anya.

It wouldn’t have been serious if the bullet didn’t hit a major artery on Anya’s right chest. She was barely alive when she reached the hospital.

Sehun leapt from the wall he was slumped into when a doctor got out of the operating room. Luhan’s eyes were wide with worry and anticipation, throwing questions after questions at the doctor. The doctor turned out to be one of Luhan’s friends, a certain Dr. Zhang Yixing.

“Ms. Jang is stable for now. She had lost quite an amount of blood due to the tear in her right pulmonary artery. We managed to patch that up but since she lost so much blood, I’m afraid that we are not certain yet as to what complications will arise.”

Luhan’s face fell into anxiousness again with the doctor’s words. The doctor patted him on shoulder.

“We will do our best, Xiaolu. Anya is just as stubborn as you. Someone must have been watching over her. One would expect for the bullet to hit her straight to the heart. But it didn’t. So don’t lose hope. Everything will work out just fine.”

With that, Luhan thanked the doctor for his kind words and Dr. Zhang left. Luhan then woke the kids up, as gentle as possible, and brought them to the room where Anya was put in.

The three kids and Luhan spent the night on the hospital, hoping against hope that whoever was really watching over Anya would continue looking aout ofr her and help her regain consciousness as soon as possible.

Sehun never felt as helpless and hopeless. Seeing the tear-strained faces of the three kids, and Luhan’s normally bright eyes now filled with anxiousness as what tomorrow would bring, Sehun felt his chest tighten. Even that time when he thought he was dead, the feeling of despair didn’t amount to what he was feeling right now.

So this is how it is to live. And get hurt. He thought. He wonders if someone was worrying about him at the moment. If there were people who were missing him, who were waiting for him to come back.

There’s probably no one. Jongin will get over his death easily, the two of them haven’t known each other for that long. And Jongin has tons of friends, he’ll never miss someone as unremarkable as Sehun.

Then Sehun remembered his mother. His mother whom he could count on one hand the times he had actually had a conversation with, all of them either he was being reprimanded for being in trouble or being told about acting properly because he’s the heir to their company after all. His mother who was sitting on a chair in his own hospital room. Could she be waiting for his return?

Probably. But if he dies, she’ll get over it quickly. After all, they were never much of a family. You’ll never miss what you didn’t have in the first place.

“What are you thinking.” Suho’s gentle voice floated around the silent hospital room.

Sehun didn’t turn to his guardian, keeping his eyes on the hospital bed where Anya was lying unconscious, several wires connected to her and monitoring her every breath and heartbeat. On the couch beside her bed was where Tao was curled up in a fetal position, his head on Baekhyun’s lap. Chanyeol has his head on Baekhyun’s shoulder, his face filled with worry even in his sleep. Baekhyun, even if he was physically the shortest among the three, didn’t even complain when his brothers fell asleep on him.

Seeing the three little kids being strong and waiting for their mother’s return, Sehun felt pride inside his chest.

“I wish I could do something to Anya come back as soon as possible.” Sehun murmured.

“Why is that?” Suho asked, taking in the soft look Sehun was giving the kids.

“These kids… they need her so much. I just can’t sit here and watch them lose the light in their eyes.” Sehun smiled bitterly. “I don’t want them to be like me.”

“Have you forgotten what I told you, Sehun?” Suho asked.

Sehun turned to his guardian and even if he doesn’t want to, he could feel tears pricking the back of his eyes. Suho gave Sehun his comforting smile, something that Sehun held onto over these past few months even if he pretended he hates it.

“Our hope brings forth miracles.”

 It’s around late afternoon the next day, after Luhan had dropped the kids at one of his friend‘s place, when the monitors connected Anya started beeping alarmingly. Doctors and nurses were inside the hospital room just in seconds. They fuss over Anya, checking her heart rate and blood pressure. And her vital signs were dropping.

Luhan kept asking everyone and no one in particular what was happening but he’s got no answer. Sehun felt his heart twist with anxiousness and fear as the doctors hurriedly run Anya’s limp body towards the operating room once again.

“Yixing! What is happening? Is she going to be okay? Please answer me!” Luhan grabbed desperately at Dr. Zhang’s arm, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. “Please, Yixing. Tell me she’s going to be okay…” he pleaded.

Dr. Zhang gave Luhan a thoughtful look. Luhan’s tears fell down like rainfall.

“Don’t cry, Luhan.” Dr. Zhang clasped Luhan’s shoulder, giving a squeeze. “I’m not a hundred percent sure yet, but I’m guessing that the tear on Anya’ artery had caused for blood to flow into her lungs. That or another complication. We will do our best, Luhan. Be strong. The kids need you to be strong. Anya needs you to be strong. Okay?”

Luhan couldn’t help his sobs but he nodded anyways.

Dr. Zhang left for the operating room.

Sehun took in ragged deep breaths. His chest was so tight that if he wasn’t half-dead already, he might have passed out. Just as the day before, he couldn’t even get himself to take a step towards the operating room, fear rooting him in place.

There’s nothing he can do. This thought keeps on running inside his mind that it makes him go crazy. A part of him wished he never met Anya. If he didn’t, then he wouldn’t feel this… utter helplessness. He wouldn’t have been too attached. He would never have felt this fear of losing somebody.

“God… what am I going to do?” he cried out softly, slumping into a defeated heap on the floor.

How can fate be so cruel to him? Making him feel that warmth only to take it back and plunge him into the cold even further?

A hand on his shoulder had Sehun looking up at Suho’s sympathetic face.

“I know something that might help… but at a price.”

Sehun sprang up and held onto Suho desperately. “Tell me! I’ll do anything! Give anything! Just tell me how to save her!” the desperation in his eyes were evident on his voice.

Suho’s next words were like ice that enveloped Sehun’s soul.

“Your life… in exchange for hers.”
 

Suho: ah... authornim... Sehun is... (glance at Sehun who was sulking at a corner)

a/n: aish.. go read the next chapter!!!

Sehun: i swear if you kill me in this fic– (death glare)

a/n: yeah, yeah... (rolls eyes)

Suho: i need an aspirin.