~*~Chapter 15~*~

~*~*~

There was one time when Luhan thought he had heard voices. He was all alone in the house since Minseok’s parents were still at work and Minseok was practicing soccer, something Minseok stopped doing when Luhan moved out from his house.

The house felt like a ghost-house when Luhan was alone, he hated being alone like this.

The doctors had been telling the Kim’s to not let Luhan be alone in the house for a longer time, but Luhan had been insisting that he was fine with being alone.

However, this time was Luhan reading a book inside his room when he heard a deep voice say:

“Luhan… come… be with me forever” Luhan looked around in the room, he couldn’t see anyone.

He only heard Sehun’s voice, which kept on calling for him.

Luhan wanted to be with Sehun. He wanted to spend the eternity together with Sehun.

But nothing was real.

~*~*~

Luhan placed down the hot cup of coffee at the table and returned to his book. He was re-reading ‘Precious’ once again.

It had been three weeks since Luhan tried to introduce Jongin to Joonmyeon, Minseok and Yixing. It had also been three weeks since Luhan spoke to any of them, except for Joonmyeon off course.

Luhan started to live his life normally again. He went to the psychologist, he took his medicines and he didn’t have panic-attacks, illusions, any bad dreams and he didn’t hear any voices in his head.

It had taken Luhan a lot of courage to finally go to the café Yixing was working at and when he faced Yixing, who had been standing behind the cashier had he just smiled awkwardly before he ordered what he wanted.

And Yixing had been pretending that nothing had happened, that Luhan was just a regular costumer.

Luhan leaned his head backwards and thought about what Minseok would be up to now. One week had passed since Minseok’s birthday but Luhan hadn’t bought Minseok a gift and he hadn’t send Minseok a “Happy Birthday”-message. Luhan always did that, he also always used to bake a chocolate-cake for Minseok. But Luhan didn’t do that this year.

It had been Minseok’s choice to break the friendship and contact between them. Minseok was the one who said that they were not friends any longer. And Minseok hadn’t called Luhan once and when Luhan called, Minseok didn’t pick up.

Luhan hoped to see Minseok’s chubby face waiting outside Joonmyeon’s office when Luhan had finished his meetings with Joonmyeon but Minseok wasn’t there.

~*~*~

Yixing studied Luhan as he was sitting by one table, calmly reading a book. The same book they had discussed at their first meeting.

Luhan looked so peaceful and beautiful, just being so natural like this.

He was so focused on the book he had been reading that he almost placed the big, white cup of smoking hot coffee on the cheese-cake instead of on the table.

Yixing chuckled, causing Kris to look at him.

“Have you been talking to him lately?” Kris asked.

Yixing nodded. “I took his order”

Kris playfully hit Yixing on the shoulder.

“I mean, like you used to talk to him. You like him; I’m not blind, even though I wish I was. You two look good together” Kris pushed Yixing in the back.

“Talk to him, tell him about the plans you have been talking with me about. Luhan would care more”

Yixing swallowed. Kris hand pushed Yixing on his back towards Luhan’s direction but Yixing didn’t fight against it any longer.

With heavy steps, he walked towards Luhan’s table.

~*~*~

“Are you reading that book again?” Luhan heard a familiar voice and he his head. Yixing.

Luhan blushed and nodded shyly. “Yes… I am”

Yixing looked at the empty chair.

“Are you waiting for Minseok or can I take a seat?”

Luhan shook his head. “No, Minseok today. Please sit down”

Luhan placed the book inside his white MCM-bag while Yixing took a seat on the chair. The silence was still awkward between them.

“I have a bag from the same brand. Or two, one brown and one purple” Yixing said.

Luhan smiled. “It’s my favorite-brand. We have so much in common”

Yixing nodded, no one of them had ever thought that they were so similar to each other.

“I don’t want to sound like Joonmyeon, but please tell me, how are you?” Yixing asked once again.

Luhan looked at Yixing, it seemed like Yixing was the only person who wanted to stay by Luhan’s side after this happened.

“To be honest, I’m not so fine” Luhan took a sip from his coffee. It began to get a little cold, but that’s what you get from waiting so long with finishing.

Luhan looked at Yixing, but instead of looking into his eyes, Luhan looked on Yixing’s nose. It felt better to look there, Luhan was still embarrassed over what had happened and he could not look Yixing in the eyes yet.

“I have been thinking” Yixing began to talk once again.

“I told Kris about the idea, he told me to ask you. Wouldn’t you like to get out of here? Like, leave Seoul for a little while to find who you are and who you want to be?” Yixing asked.

Luhan looked at Yixing. This could be a good thing. To leave Seoul with Yixing for a while.

~*~*~

‘Dear Sehun,

I spoke to Yixing today. He asked me if I want to leave Seoul with him.

To find myself, the real me.

The real Luhan.

I know that he is out there somewhere.

I said yes. I will sell my apartment, pack my stuff and leave.

I’m looking forward to it.

Love,

Luhan.’